Talk:Ryokuoushoku Shakai

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WikiProject iconThis article was copy edited by SheriffIsInTown, a member of the Guild of Copy Editors, on 14 March 2024.

Did you know nomination[edit]

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by AirshipJungleman29 talk 22:38, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Created by Ayakanaa (talk). Self-nominated at 19:31, 29 December 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Ryokuoushoku Shakai; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.[reply]

General: Article is new enough and long enough
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems

Hook eligibility:

  • Cited: Yes
  • Interesting: Yes
  • Other problems: No - Minor grammar tweaks needed
QPQ: None required.

Overall: @Ayakanaa: Thank you for this submission! The article and the hook both look alright, but the former likely needs to be copy-edited a little more (did you translate it directly from the ja.wiki page?), while the latter is slightly unclear, so I think you should re-word it by "name-dropping" the band directly and trying to make the hook sound simpler. Also, I need to know if this is your first DYK entry, since users who have nominated at least 5 articles need to submit a QPQ review, as well. Oltrepier (talk) 15:38, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Oltrepier: It isn't a completely direct translation since I omitted or combined sentences to try to make it better suited for en.wiki. Where should I get someone to copy edit the page? How would I make the hook sound simpler? Also, this is my first DYK entry, so I don't need a QPQ. Thank you for your comments. ayakanaa ( t · c ) 18:42, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Ayakanaa: Thank you for clarifying that it's your first entry! You can start improving the hook by replacing "a band" with the group's full name, and then we can make more edits after approving the nomination. On a side note, everyone who feels bold enough to help you can correct and improve the article; I suggest you to send a request to the Copy Editors team from this page, too! Oltrepier (talk) 20:45, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Oltrepier: I updated the hook and sent a request to the GOCE. Thank you. ayakanaa ( t · c ) 21:02, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Ayakanaa: Good! Now, what about replacing the first part of the hook ("that Ryokuoushoku Shakai was named after") with something like "that the idea for the name of Ryokuoushoku Shakai came after"? Oltrepier (talk) 21:35, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Oltrepier: Updated the hook. It made it clearer, thank you. Is the hook okay now? And since I don't know when the GOCE will get to my request, how does that affect this nomination? ayakanaa ( t · c ) 21:46, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Ayakanaa: There's no problem at all, actually: I think we should be good to go now! Oltrepier (talk) 08:57, 2 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Oltrepier: Okay, thank you for all your help! ayakanaa ( t · c ) 17:27, 2 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]