Talk:Schauet doch und sehet, ob irgend ein Schmerz sei, BWV 46/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 12:03, 1 August 2015 (UTC)

I'll have this to you by today or tomorrow! JAGUAR  12:03, 1 August 2015 (UTC)

Initial comments

• I think that (like last time) the lead should be re-organised to comply per WP:LEAD. I would recommend merging the last short paragraph ("Bach used music of the first section") into the second one, and splitting the second paragraph into two smaller ones to improve flow of the prose. If this sounds unclear please ask!

Will think. The reusing was 10 years later, so should be separate. Will perhaps get an extra sentence. --GA

• "The cantata is part of Bach's first annual cycle of cantatas, begun when he took up office as Thomaskantor in May 1723" - which began

tried --GA

• "This is an unusually rich instrumentation for an ordinary Sunday" - just wondering what makes some Sundays ordinary?

To be just an numbered Sunday after Trinity, instead of a festive occasion such as Ascension Day. Explained in (linked) Church cantata (Bach). --GA

• "As with the other cantatas Bach composed in his first year in Leipzig, we do not know the identity of the librettist" - I would rephrase this to ...in his first year in Leipzig, however the identity of the librettist remains unknown (sounds more formal)?

The sentence is not by me, and is also true for the second year. Will think. --GA

Sentence added ---GA

• "Bach first performed the cantata on 1 August 1723." - perhaps it would be best to merge this short sentence into one of the paragraphs in the History section?

Hesitate, because performance is something else than composition. Will perhaps add a sentence.

bit longer ---GA

• "The movement is structure like a prelude and fugue" - I didn't understand this. I would offer alternatives but I'm not sure what this is trying to say! Would The structure of the movement is like a prelude and fugue sound right?

typo, was missing a "d" ;) --GA

found better link for Prelude and fugue also ---GA

My bad! JAGUAR  20:07, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

• "The fugue builds from two vocal parts and continuo to nine parts" - typo?

Comma? short for from "two vocal parts and [only] continuo" to "nine parts which includes instruments". --GA

• No need to credit the author of the image caption "John Eliot Gardiner, who conducted the Bach Cantata Pilgrimage, in 2007 (original image: ©Maciej Goździelewski)"

Copied from a FA like this, but cut. --GA

References

• References are all good

Thanks for looking, - I have little time now but more probably later today, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:10, 2 August 2015 (UTC)

I added a bit, and will soon go over the movements, trying to add details, ---Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:03, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

On hold

This is another comprehensive and well referenced article, but I did spot some prose errors along the way. Nothing major, and I am inexperienced with this topic, so I may have made mistakes too! Once they're all addressed this should be good to go. JAGUAR  11:11, 2 August 2015 (UTC)

I hope I responded to your concerns, and added a bit on the movements, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:25, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for addressing them, Gerda! This looks good to go now. I'm still trying to learn a bit on the subject as I go along with these reviews ;-D JAGUAR  20:07, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

Thank you! Working on the next, Mein Herze schwimmt im Blut, BWV 199, for a week later, and some are open if you can't wait ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:32, 3 August 2015 (UTC)