Talk:Shah Abdul Wahhab

Please mention some of the issues in detail, so that an idea could be reached on how to cleanup.— Preceding unsigned comment added by Vayuyatra (talk • contribs)

Cleanup

• As someone who is not familiar with this subject it is somewhat technical and difficult to understand.
• Tone: This article is not written in a neutral tone and is a glowing endorsement of the subject. The article also reads like an essay, and shows the authors feelings on the subject. Examples: "He was born in Vellore during a time when lots of unislamic and deviant practices had crept into the beliefs of Muslims." Should probably be revised to read something like: "He was born in Vellore, and sought to revert the unislamic practices of his fellow Muslims." The point is in the first example you already state that the practices went against Islam, finding percise evidence of that is difficult and could be disputed by many, and that is not even the point of this page! Instead you explain what A'la Hadrat Maulana Shah Abdul Wahab saw. This draws him back to the focus of the article and does not make any strong claims outside of the purview of the page.
• Some of the phrasing needs to be changed "...where he was brought up with the care and affection of his mother and his uncle." This is unnecessary editorializing. A good Wikipedia article is composed of facts rather than summations or opinions.
• The strange coincidence section, while interesting I can't see the relevance of the section, you could probably merge this section into the higher education one and reduce it to a few lines. You could probably just mentions that these religious leaders shared the same teacher.

• This is more of a style issue and may just be a product of totally western up bringing but referring to the subject by is full 6 word name gets very verbose. Reading becomes difficult especially when multiple people are mentioned in the same section all referred to by their full name. Take a look at the article on George Washington His full name is given on the first line but is from there after is referred to only by his last name. However if this is not the case in Muslim society don't change anything. Wikipedia's style is subject to the nature of the article.

That is about all I can think of feel free to add to or mark completed from this list as you see fit. Also remember to sign your comments by adding four tildes ~~~~ to the end of your comment. Drewerd (talk) 18:31, 1 January 2012 (UTC)

COMPLETED and Thanks for your Comments — Preceding unsigned comment added by Vayuyatra (talk • contribs) 05:38, 24 January 2012 (UTC)