Talk:Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams/GA2

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GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

I will be reviewing this article. Please let me know if you have any questions. – Ms. Sarita Confer 18:49, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

Looks good from a first glance. – Ms. Sarita Confer 19:29, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
    See my comments in the "Prose" and "MoS" sections below. – Ms. Sarita Confer 19:29, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    See my comments in the "References" section below.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
    Seems stable to me. – Ms. Sarita Confer 19:29, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    Regarding the promotional photo, it seems too large. I would resize it and edit the caption to say "Knowles" instead of "Solange". – Ms. Sarita Confer 19:29, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    I still feel the image is too large, but it isn't that big of a deal to me. – Ms. Sarita Confer 05:52, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    I am placing the article on hold for seven days. Let me know if you need more time to address the issues below. Feel free to leave a message if you have questions/complaints/comments. Good luck improving the article! I was lucky to find an article that didn't need a lot of work. – Ms. Sarita Confer 20:44, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    Good job to both Dan56 and DiverseMentality. – Ms. Sarita Confer 07:00, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Prose[edit]

  • There is an occurrence of using both "Knowles's" and "Knowles'" throughout the article. It needs to be consistent.

Background

  • Heavily influenced by Motown girl groups such as The Supremes and The Marvelettes, and by her mother, Tina, a one-time member of the 1960s harmony group The Veltones, who used to play music by the likes of Dusty Springfield and Martha Reeves to her, Knowles decided to distance herself from the contemporary R&B and dance-pop sound mainly associated with her previous effort, Solo Star. This sentence seems to be far too long and confusing. I had to read it through three times to get a feel for what the sentence was trying to convey. May I suggest either breaking up the sentence into two sentences or making use of the m-dash?

Recording

  • ...she struggled convincing her wishlisted musicans to contribute to Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams productionwise, as no producer did sign on to the project before he had heard any material she had penned. I would change "convincing" to "to convince" and "did sign on" to "had signed on". Also, with the use of the word "he", we are assuming that the producers were all male. Is this true? Perhaps this part of the sentence should be revised to make it gender-neutral?
  • The word "productionwise" located in the first sentence of this section: Shouldn't there be a hyphen somewhere in there? Or is "productionwise" actually one long word?
  • ...the album was titled after the Hadley Street... Should it be "the Hadley Street" or just "Hadley Street"?

Commercial

  • Sol-Angel's lead single... Is the album known to abbreviate its name like this? Perhaps it should be written "The album's lead single..."?
  • ...chart at number 44 in the Billboard issue dated July 5, 2008. Personally, I would have written, ...in Billboard's July 5, 2008 issue.

MoS[edit]

Lead

  • The quote, ..."intellectual, backpacking, coffee shop, digital kid"... really shouldn't be Wikilinked per WP:MOSQUOTE.
  • The "vintage" Wikilink takes me to an article about vintage wine-making. Is this what you want?

Background

  • ...revolving around her growth as a musical artist instead... "Artist" does not need to be Wikilinked.
  • ...based around the Sixties and Seventies... "Seventies" should not be Wikilinked per WP:MOSQUOTE.

Recording

  • ...unreleased recording "Wanna Go Back,"... and ...demoed the track "Same Song, Different Man,"... The comma needs to go outside of the quotation marks.
  • Wikilink for "Q-Tip" takes me to the article about cotton swabs. You need to locate the appropriate Wikilink for the article that you want.

Commercial

  • "Europe" is Wikilinked here but not in the "Background" section of the article?
  • Using terms such as "recently" is considered dated.

Critical

  • ..."a woozy lava lamp glow. "Lava lamp" should not be Wikilinked per WP:MOSQUOTE.
  • The word "however" at the end of the section should be removed as it implies that it is comparing that review with another.

References[edit]

  • In the infobox, I'm confused as to what exactly reference 1 (the "Pharrell, Lil Wayne Grace Solange Knowles CD" article) is citing? It doesn't list all of those producers...

Lead

  • I don't see reference 2 (the "Album Preview: Solange - ‘SoL-AngeL and The Hadley St. Dreams’" article) citing that Lamont Dozier was part of the production/writing team. In addition, the reference makes no mention of Knowles' previous trips to Europe inspiring her. Also, concerning the same reference, is it from Sister 2 Sister Magazine or Rap-Up Magazine?
  • Reference 4 (the Metacritic citation) has changed. It is now 72/100, not 71/100. This should be updated.
  • Where in reference 5 (the ACharts citation) does it state the number of albums sold?
  • I still don't see where in reference 4 (now the "09/03/2008 - Yahoo! Music Top 10" article) it states that the album has sold 100,000 copies.

Background

  • Also borrowing elements from downbeat and electronic music she discovered on recent trips to Europe, including acts such as Boards of Canada, Zero 7, Björk and Justice,... Not seeing how reference 9 (the New York Daily News article) details what acts Knowles listened to or found influence in. It did cite that she discovered different sounds during her trips to Europe, so I would place the reference after that part of the sentence.
    • Didn't mean for you to delete the bands/musical artists part of the sentence, but whatever you wish to do. – Ms. Sarita Confer 02:16, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "'60s/70s vintage soul record with hints of electronica." Could not find this quote in the reference. Am I missing it?

Recording

  • "I don't think it was offensive," Knowles admitted. "I understand that these are people that want to take on credible passionate projects. So before I would work with them I would schedule a meeting and play them the record. And then they were more convinced and willing to get on board." Is this cited?
  • A planned collaboration with newcomer Duffy failed to materialize. I'm not finding this information in either reference.

Commercial

  • For the entire second half of the first paragraph, I am not seeing how that information is referenced.
  • Accessing any part of reference 20 (the "Chart Search Result" from Billboard) requires a subscription. Are there any other references you can locate substantiating the information?

Critical

  • ...scoring a 73/100 rating on the review scores... Reference says 72/100.
  • Ken Capobianco of The Boston Globe referred to the album as a "smartly executed, classy set of songs that's miles away from the hoochie pop being turned out by young female R&B vocalists these days," citing its "organic throwback vibe that evokes classic Motown and '70s soul while remaining firmly contemporary." Needs to be referenced or removed.

Charts

  • There is a "citation needed" tag in the table. Either find a reference or that section of the table needs to go.


I fixed it up; the "60s/70s vintage soul record with hints of electronica" quote is referenced, as well as Recording section.

Dan56 (talk) 23:02, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Are you sure? I'm still not seeing the quote "60s/70s vintage soul record with hints of electronica" in the reference. Also, the reference explaining the Duffy collaboration says that the song was "in the works". There are still a few things to take care of, including the "citation needed" tag in the "Charts" table. Anything that you cannot find a reference for either needs to be revised or removed. Great job on the improvements! – Ms. Sarita Confer 05:52, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I've taken care of most of the remainder. As for reference twenty (which I now believe is reference twenty-three), I'm able to access the site without a subscription. Maybe I'm not looking at the correct link? DiverseMentality 06:22, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there DiverseMentality. I've been watching while you work. ;-) Thanks a lot! As far as reference 23, I can access it, but I can't access any information from a particular chart without needing a subscription. Any thoughts? Also, I can't find a reference that says the album has sold 100,000 copies. Should this information be removed from the lead section? Lemme know! – Ms. Sarita Confer 06:24, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've replaced the source. As for total sales, I can't find the information except on forums, which aren't reliable sources, so I just removed that from the lead. DiverseMentality 06:49, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot DiverseMentality. Everything's done. Thanks for your help.

Whoops, I can't believe I forgot to title the ref. Thanks for fixing that. DiverseMentality 07:04, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Are you kidding me? I do that kind of crap all the time! – Ms. Sarita Confer 07:12, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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