Talk:Sweet Life (Frank Ocean song)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Sufur222 (talk · contribs) 09:20, 20 July 2012 (UTC) As you're reviewing "The Don", I'll do this one for you. Overall, this looks very impressive.[reply]

Comments

Infobox

  • template needed for song length.
Done.

Lead (and reception)

  • Not sure if "highly positive" is grammatically correct - "Sweet Life" received very positive reviews from music critics.", or "Sweet Life" received general acclaim from music critics." reads better, in my opinion. Apply this throughout.
Changed to "very" throughout.

Background

  • "The Neptune's..." - should read "The Neptunes..." "Pharrel" is also misspelled here.
Done.
  • "Hurrican Katrina" - mispelling, needs linking and some context here would be welcome.
Done, added some background.
  • "Ocean accepted William's offer and the two went into the studio and recorded songs together." - should read "Ocean accepted Williams' offer, and the two went into the studio and recorded songs together." Careful of your use of and here - can become repetitive.
Done, also removed second "and".

Critical reception

  • the "bright 'Sweet Life'" - should read "the bright 'Sweet Life'"
  • Greg Kot, writer for the Chicago Tribune stated - should read Greg Kot, writer for the Chicago Tribune, stated
  • Killian Fox of The Observer reported that the song was one of the few times on the album when Ocean was "actively courting heavy radio play", describing Sweet Life - why italics here?
  • Amy Dawson, critic for Metro called - should read Amy Dawson, critic for Metro, called
  • musicOMH's Laurence Green praised "Sweet Life - missing speech mark.
  • "amongst the album's "essential tracks." - what album? It is mentioned earlier in the article, of course, but the context should be maintained, especially in long sections such as this one.
All changed.

References

  • Very long list of references which could be hard for some to navigate - I would divide up into at least two columns.
  • Ref 1 - link BBC News.
  • Ref 6 - Idolator is not a physical publication, so should not be in italics.
  • Ref 8 - full name is Nathan Slavik.
  • Ref 9 - link Rap-Up.
  • Refs 8, 32 and 38 need en-dashes.
All done I believe.

Other

  • No "Credits and personnel" section? I've noticed this in a lot of articles you've worked on. As I have a copy of Channel Orange, I can put this section in if you want to, but if you don't, that's fine, as you've had several other articles passed without it.
It's your review so it's ultimately up to you, but I'm fine with it the way it is.
I think we can live without it in this case as 1) You've passed articles without it before and 2) it's usually used to beef up the "Recording" section, but you've a good amount of information on this already. I Am Rufus • Conversation is a beautiful thing. 07:07, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Please bear in mind that this is my first ever GA article review - if you have any queries on these points, please ask me about them. I shall put the review on hold to allow you to address these comments. I Am Rufus • Conversation is a beautiful thing. 09:20, 20 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All issues have been addressed I believe. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:38, 20 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Looks very good, and no further issues, so passing. Well done! I Am Rufus • Conversation is a beautiful thing. 07:07, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

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