Talk:Sybil Thorndike/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Aza24 (talk · contribs) 01:24, 8 December 2022 (UTC)
Happy to review this. Best – Aza24 (talk) 01:24, 8 December 2022 (UTC)
General comments[edit]
Finding no major issues, these comments are exclusively minor quibbles. Aza24 (talk) 00:12, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- Early life
- For non-Anglophone readers, I do wonder if specifying that Lincolnshire is in the UK, or at least, England, might be beneficial
- Anything that "pianist's cramp" could be linked to? tendonitis?
- I presume we don't know who Marriages are Made in Heaven is by.
- I'm glad you asked. It was by Basil Dean – not a nice man but an important figure in British theatre for a good deal of the 20th century. Now added. Tim riley talk 15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- 1914–1919
- Many of the characters in this section have WP articles, but this may be overlinking so I'll leave it at your discretion
- Otherwise looks good
- 1920s
- Looks good
- 1930s
- Given that Six Men of Dorset doesn't have an article, it might be worth including the names of Miles Malleson and Harvey Brooks
- The second paragraph has almost all the sentences beginning with "in"—this might be addressed to sound less robotic
- Later years, 1960–1976
- Does "theatrical retirement home' mean more than simply a retirement home in a play? An odd adjective imo
- Redrawn. I meant a retirement home for theatre people. I imagine Coward had Denville Hall in mind as the model for the home, "The Wings", in his play. I hope the meaning is now thoroughly clear. Tim riley talk 15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- I just removed "amateur ghost hunter" from Williamson's Wikipedia page... sigh
- "The piece received bad reviews"—though the sentences afterwards seem to indicate "mixed reviews"
Miscellaneous[edit]
- Formatting of sources is excellent, though I should note that the script I have installed warns that "Forces War Records" is a "generally unreliable source"
- You might consider a word or two in the section headings so they are not exclusively decades. Fine by me either way though
- I wonder if including her performances in Medea and Candida might be fitting in the lead. It seems strange to only mention one specific play there, and I assume she's well known enough in these two to make sense. Aza24 (talk) 00:12, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- I don't think either of these would be right in the lead. You'd have to be older than me – and I'm a septuagenarian – to have seen Thorndike in her peak years, and if people know of her at all now it will, I'm sure, be Saint Joan that pops up in their minds in connexion with her. Tim riley talk 15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for the points, above. Most helpful. Tim riley talk 15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)