Talk:Thomas Coke, 1st Earl of Leicester (seventh creation)/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 23:15, 5 July 2011 (UTC)
This is, at first glance, looking brilliant, so I'd imagine a lot of what I say will be nitpicky. It's a shame you've had to wait so long for a review. J Milburn (talk) 23:22, 5 July 2011 (UTC)
Preliminary issues[edit]
- File:Humphry Repton.jpg uses a template nominated for deletion, and is clearly PD-old. If I was being picky, I would say File:Obelisk.jpg could do with Template:Information and perhaps moving to Commons.
- I wonder about the categories- could they perhaps be reordered so all the MP ones are at the end? Do we have a cat for Earls of Leicester? Do we have a cat for where he was born?
- Sources look appropriate, and the only two formatting concerns are the bare url (http://www.thepeerage.com/p1793.htm#i17922) and the fact "p." should probably be replaced by "pp." when there are multiple pages cited.
First read through[edit]
- "the owner of a 30,000 acre Norfolk estate" Does it have a name?
- "Returned to Parliament in 1776 for Norfolk" Returned to? He's not been yet? Or is this a term I just haven't come across?
- "Earl of Leicester" Link?
- "as "the real hero of Norfolk agriculture"." Even in the lead, I think I'd want to see direct quotes cited
- "70 snipes he'd killed" Avoid contractions
- "he finally consented to their marriage on 5 October 1775." Is this the date of consent or of marriage. If the former, what was the latter? If the latter, perhaps it would be worth rephrasing?
- "in an attempt to raise funds the king asked subjects to donate." Who was the king at the time? (You mention it later)
- "at St James's Palace" Link
- "that "the most important and symbolic act of Coke's political career" occurred." In-text attribution would be useful here
- "The two disagreed constantly" King and PM? Or secretaries of state?
- It's not all that clear how the last para of "Entry to Parliament" ties in with Coke specifically. You mention in the lead that Coke lost his seat due to support for Fox, but this isn't made explicit in the main body of the article
- Any suggestions? Ironholds (talk) 15:00, 9 July 2011 (UTC)
- Well, in the prose, it isn't all that clear that he lost his seat because of his support for Fox, which is what was made clear in the lead. If you reiterate in that para that Coke was very much with Fox, and that, subsequently, Fox being removed contributed to his own loss of popularity (if what I'm saying is correct) eventually leading to him losing the seat, it will tie in the paragraph with the lead and make clear why it belongs in the article. J Milburn (talk) 10:42, 10 July 2011 (UTC)
- Any suggestions? Ironholds (talk) 15:00, 9 July 2011 (UTC)
- "Sandys created a large woodland, planting over 7,000 trees in 22 acres near the Eastern Lodge, another ten acres near the lake, and four acres on marshland." Oddly formulated sentence
- "the Mainz Psalter for" Italics?
- "In 1822 Elizabeth, Coke's daughter, recorded that 800 birds were shot in one day." Comma after "1882"?
- "planting of Scottish turnips" Link?
- Did his sheep breed have a name?
- "with even the American ambassador Richard Rush attending in 1819. along with the French Consul and the Duke of Sussex." Is that meant to be a comma?
- "to Parliament in 1796" Link to election article?
- "With the death of both William Pitt in 1806" What does this mean?
- "the army estimates" What does this mean?
- "described with "absurd"," as? And by whom?
- "Coke remained in the prime of life;" perhaps add "after his retirement" or something?
- "and having another child three years later." Do we know nothing of this child?
Generally looking great; solid research and very well written. J Milburn (talk) 23:59, 5 July 2011 (UTC)
- Based on the fixes above, I'm happy to promote. The article's looking really good, and I can't really offer any advice for FAC beyond the obvious- head back to the library, see if there's a book you missed and include anything new, and, if possible, look into the comments I made that you were unable to fix. This is well written, stable, a good length, answers all the questions and sourced to appropriate scholarly literature. J Milburn (talk) 18:53, 10 July 2011 (UTC)