Talk:Tom's Rhinoplasty/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: The Flash {talk} 01:47, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
Yello! Saw this at GAN and I'd love to assist WP:SP on their FT project, so I'll be reviewing this article. Looks good but I do have a number of small concerns. Check out Talk:I Married Marge/GA1 for my structural system in reviews, and let's get started. The Flash {talk} 01:47, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
Lead[edit]
- Can you come up with a better adjective then "insanely"?
- "'Tom's Rhinoplasty', the show's first Valentine's Day epiosde,[...]" -> typo
- Forgot to add a quotation marker after "Species."
- "Wrapped" seems a bit slang-ish, am I wrong? Perhaps, "concluded"?
Plot summary[edit]
- Who does Wendy suggest ideas to? Stan?
- Wikilink to Kenny's page.
- "Concurrently, a large group of women rampages the streets[...]" -> "[...]group of women rampage[...]"
- Combine the second and third sentences in the third paragraph, please.
- "She also thanks Mrs. Kimball (one of the women from the group of women that chased Garrison)[...]" -> "She also thanks one of the women from the group that chased Garrison named Mrs. Kimball"
- I'm a bit confused—by "figures out what actually happened" do you mean that Wendy framed Ms. Ellen and caused her death by Iraqis? If so, it needs to be clarified.
Production[edit]
- It mentions Parker directed, too, but the infobox and the lead mention that the director was uncredited.
- "[...]but Comedy Central censors made them change the line.[...]" -> "made Parker and Stone"
- Is that bit about the Postal controversy actually a "production" note?
- "[...]in the background that looks exactly Craig Tucker[...]" -> "looks exactly like Craig Tucker"
- I think some of the bits about Wendy saying "fuck" for the first time and things like it should be moved in the "Cultural references" section, though that should be renamed "Cultural references and impact"
- "The idea featured in the script of Ms. Ellen taking one of the children to dinner for passing[...]" -> awkwardly worded there, don't you think?
- Maybe you should move their surprise about fan reaction to the "Reception" section?
Theme[edit]
- There's no mention in the plot about Garrison being a model.
- Nothing else here, but maybe you can expand it with some of the bits at "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" and "Weight Gain 4000"?
Cultural references[edit]
- You should rename the section to "Cultural references and impact"
- The first paragraph should be broke up a bit.
- OK. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
- Delink to Hasselholf (already linked above)
- "When Ms. Ellen asks the class the last lesson[...]" -> "asks the class about the last lesson"
Reception[edit]
- Rename "Reception and release" (?)
- "[...]in a three-DVD in November 1998." -> "in a three-disc DVD" perhaps?
Images[edit]
- All 3 images are fine; the infobox image has a very weak rationale though, so can you beef it up at all? Just a passing mention of the animation process would even be suitable.
- Can you change the caption for the infobox image? It's rather....lackluster, ya know?
Final say[edit]
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
