Talk:Typhoon Vera (1986)/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 01:43, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
- "A tropical depression on August 15" - Missing "formed" but remove the comma after you add that.
- "Vera meandered in the monsoon trough, but on August 17, the system abruptly re-located east-northeast, and subsequently began to move east and then north." - This is a choppy sentence, see if you can't reword.
- "Typhoon Vera then turned west-northwest, and slowly weakened as it approached Okinawa." - Nay comma.
- You start almost every sentence with the storm's name. Alternate it a bit.
- "The typhoon brought minor damage to Okinawa" - Like, physically carried damage? Otherwise, replace that with wrought, caused, inflicted, etc.
- "Although the core remained offshore China, over 500 homes were destroyed, seven lives were lost, and 28 people were hurt in Shanghai." - Guidelines suggest spelling out numbers under 10, but if the sentence is accompanied by a large number like 500, write them all numerically.
- "25 individuals were feared dead after the New Genshine went missing." - What is that? A plane, a vessel, a horse? I always specify.
- "At 00:00 UTC on August 13, the Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) started to follow the system" - Started to follow --> began monitoring
- Notes go before references
- "Six hours later, the JMA upgraded the system into a tropical storm." - ...and assigned it a name.
- JMA doesn't name storms pre-2000. Hence why they have an English
- "Early on August 20, both the JTWC and the JMA classified Vera as a typhoon," - Comma =/= period
- "On August 22, the JTWC estimated that Vera attained its peak intensity of 200 km/h (125 mph)[8] while the JMA estimated a peak of 170 km/h (105 mph)" * Probably important to mention this is 1-minute vs. 10-minute.
- "Around this time, the typhoon passed about 540 km (335 mi) southwest of Iwo Jima.[9]" - Is this necessary?
- "Meanwhile, Vera began to lose tropical characteristics and instead initiated a transition into an extratropical cyclone." - Axe "instead." Also, extratropical transition is not something a storm can "initiate," it caused by outside factors.
- "...two walls beside a road collapsed." - Huh?
- "Due to the impeding threat of Vera to Shanghai, more than 3,000 ships were piloted into port and 120 pumping stations were readied to avert potential flooding while 20,000 cruise passengers were evacuated to shelter." - Split this.
That's about it. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contributions) 01:43, 6 August 2017 (UTC)