Talk:Wait & See (Risk)/GA1

GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 09:15, 25 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this article.

Review

One link to a disambiguation page. Is this intentional?

Info box

Use a flat list for the Format parameter
Use a flat list for the Record label parameter
Use a flat list for the genre parameter
Where have you got Dance-rock from? It's not sourced elsewhere.
January 2000 should have a semi-colon after it, omit 'and' and use <br /> so that the studios appear underneath it
The certification parameter is redundant now, song articles song include it

Prose

the track and Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis produced the track. → Repetition of 'the track'
Utada wrote the track and Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis produced the track. → It was written by Utada and produced by Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis.
many who highlighted it from the parent album. → Doesn't make sense. Why did they "highlight" it? Did they mean highlight of the album?
Link mixed
"Wait & See (Risk)" was written by Utada.[1] The song was recorded through January 2000 at Flyte Tyme Studios, Minneapolis, Minnesota and mixed at Flyte Tyme, Edina, Minnesota.[1] Steve Hodge, Indoh Mitsuhiro and Ugajin Masaaki recorded Utada's vocals and Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis produced the track.[1] Dave Barry played the guitar, Xavier Smith played the drums and all other instruments were handled by Jam and Lewis.[1] → There's no flow it. it's just abrupt short sentences.
For the two b-sides; → Why have you use a semi-colon?
For the two b-sides; "Hayatochiri" and "Fly Me to the Moon (In Other Words)", Utada's father Teruzane Utada and Akira Miyake had arranged, composed and produced the track. → This sentence needs switching around, mentioning her father first and then that he wrote the two B-Sides
Utada wrote all songs apart from the latter track. → Needs re-phrasing
Similar to the rest of the tracks from Distance, → This is irrelevant
Two versions are featured on the maxi single, the album edit and the instrumental.[1] One remix by Baton Girl is issued on the maxi single.[1] Two newly recorded tracks were featured on the maxi single, which included "Hayatochiri" and "Fly Me to the Moon". → Again, there's no flow here at all
Repetition of maxi-single is a bit annoying
Both paragraphs in the lead, the background section and the critical response section all start with the title of the song. It's not very imaginative to start every paragraph the same
likened the Jam and Lewis → Likened to what?
There's a disambiguation tag present in the second para here
Major cite kill in the second para too
Why is there a track listing section for a single? It should be Formats section. it's really odd that you've include this template on a single article
Is there no external link to the music video?

Summary

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Outcome

Failing. I get the impression that English is not your first language by the standard of English present. I recommend that you get someone to copyedit the article further to my suggestions above. — Calvin999 17:32, 26 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.