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Talk:Whiplash (Selena Gomez & the Scene song)/GA2

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 11:27, 22 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. Review to follow soon. J Milburn (talk) 11:27, 22 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • The first para of the lead is rather confusing; I think you need to make clear sooner that it was originally written for and recorded by Spears
  • What precisely are "sonic flares"? The linked article doesn't help.
  • I don't doubt that's what the source says. What are they? You link the phrase to an article that apparently has nothing to do with the subject. J Milburn (talk) 16:27, 22 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hahah I don't even know what they are. I didn't write this article, someone else wrote it. They left Wikipedia so that's why I am getting the article up to quality standards for GA. Till I Go Home (talk) 07:45, 26 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Look, if neither of us know what this is and the linked article doesn't explain it, is it likely that it's useful information for the reader? J Milburn (talk) 15:14, 28 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've copyedited the second paragraph of the lead a little, but I'm not sure if I've improved it. Please feel free to revert if you think your wording was better.
  • Was it actually recorded by Spears? What was it that Gomez listened to?
  • I'm assuming it was recorded by Spears because it says that "Mmm Papi" and "Rock Me In" made the cut, but "Whiplash" didn't. Till I Go Home (talk) 07:48, 26 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "before the pulsating chorus kicks in" "Kicks in" is a little colloquial
  • In the lead, you write "in which Gomez delivers phrases in a thick British accent." That implies that she's just throwing out unrelated phrases, but listening to the sample, she's singing coherent lyrics.
  • "possesses a hook that will send people running for the dance floor" What on earth is a "hook"?
  • A hook is a tune or phrase in a song (usually in the chorus) that catches the listener's attention. Till I Go Home (talk) 13:14, 22 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The reception section is a little quotefarmy. Some quotes are positive, some negative, but there doesn't seem to be much structure to it. Also, I think you're being a little kind to the song summarising the reception by saying it "received mostly positive reviews"; there's some pretty negative stuff there.
  • See this. Basically, the section just reads as "John Smith said x. Tony Williams said Y. Janice Jones said Z." J Milburn (talk) 16:31, 22 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "at the We Own the Night Tour (2011)." You don't perform at a tour. You perform at shows on a tour, surely?
  • "medley of Spears' hits," Performed by Gomez, performed by Spears or just played through a stereo?
  • "It is the same remix as earlier released by Spears herself in 2004 as the Chris Cox megamix, but because "Hold It Against Me" was not released then, Gomez added it after she finished off "Toxic". After "Whiplash", the band continued with a performance of Gomez's "Tell Me Something I Don't Know" (2008).[18]" I'm sorry, I really have no idea what you're talking about here.
  • "(2011) Album notes for When The Sun Goes Down by Selena Gomez & the Scene, p. 16 [CD liner notes]. Hollywood Records." I'm not keen on that formatting
  • What makes this a reliable source? How about PopCrush?
  • Discrepency between ref formatting- "Newspaper (Publisher)" or "Newspaper. Publisher."?
Compare-
Wieselman, Jarett (2011-06-16). "Britney Spears gives Selena Gomez her best song to date". New York Post. News Corporation. Retrieved 2011-09-23.
Wood, Mikael (2011-07-10). "When The Sun Goes Down". Entertainment Weekly (Time Warner). Retrieved 2011-09-23.
There's different formatting, and consistency is needed. J Milburn (talk) 15:14, 28 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I've made some fixes to the formatting. J Milburn (talk) 15:22, 28 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not a bad article- well written and the sources mostly look good. I'm surprised there's so much to be said about a non-single song! J Milburn (talk) 11:56, 22 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I've gone through the article again and made some fixes. I'm actually happy with the article as it looks now (there are some not-so-great sources, but they're interviews, so I'm happy to take them as they are). The one thing that needs sorting still is the "sonic flare" issue. Once that's dealt with, I'm happy to promote. J Milburn (talk) 15:46, 28 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I removed the sonic flares and effects sentence. Till I Go Home (talk) 01:09, 29 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, I will give the article another look through when I get a chance. A lot going on. J Milburn (talk) 00:04, 5 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I'm happy to promote. One closing thought-

  • "They got together in the studio and asked Kurstin to give them tracks." I've no idea what that means.

Other than that, and along with some last copyediting, I'm happy. Nice work, and sorry about the delay. J Milburn (talk) 23:52, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. Till I Go Home (talk) 06:04, 7 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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