Talk:Whitehall/GA1

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Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 08:57, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Lede
  • "The street is recognised as the centre of Her Majesty's Government and lined with numerous departments" -and "is" lined with
Done, also copyedited a little bit elsewhere for clarity? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:49, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

nd the geographic name for the surrounding area.

Did you mean to say something like "isn't the surrounding area more commonly known as "Westminster" to denote the government? I did a quick look at the live feed on BBC news re: all the leadership changes, and "Whitehall" does not appear, though "Westminster" does a few times. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:49, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Geography
  • "that leads towards Chelsea via the Houses of Parliament and Vauxhall Bridge." -you might want to mention that it is in Westminster
Vauxhall Bridge? Hmmm - the south half is in the London Borough of Lambeth, while the north end is near Pimlico and has Westminster to one side and Chelsea to the other. I think calling all of that lot "Westminster" is pushing it a bit. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:49, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
No, I don't mean Vauxhall Bridge, I mean somehwere in that paragraph say that Whitehall is in the Borough of Westminster as you're talking about heading to Chelsea.. You state Westminster in the infobox.@Ritchie333:♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:48, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Got it. Fixed. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:18, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
History
  • Who is William Fitzstephen?
Oh, er, ummm ask Sagaciousphil (and clarified in the prose) Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:49, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Banqueting House was built on Whitehall in 1622 by Inigo Jones. It is the only surviving portion of the former Palace of Whitehall after it was burned down" -strange, seems as the palace burned down in 1698, 76 years later..
The Banqueting House was an extension of the palace, which had been established 100 years previously. Then in 1698, it was the only part of it that didn't burn to the ground. I've clarified this in the prose. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:49, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Oliver Cromwell moved to the street in 1647, taking up residence in Wallingford House,[10] and Charles I was carried through Whitehall on the way to his trial at Westminster Hall two years later." -I would avoid "and" here, split the sentences, the latter with "Two years later, Charles I"...
Agreed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:36, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Presumably "waggons" was the correct spelling back then and what was written?
Yes, the source is a verbatim quote from Pepys' diary, and there is a link to the page here - should I put {{sic}} on it? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:36, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Nah it should be OK.♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:48, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Government buildings
  • Pipe " St Margaret's, Westminster church parish" to just St Margaret's Church
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:36, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It is closed to the public at both ends by security gates erected in 1990 following a number of terrorist attacks." - I would rewrite as "Following a number of terrorist attacks, the road was closed to the public in 1990, when security gates were erected at both ends".
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:36, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Memorials
  • "The Cenotaph was designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens and erected at the southern end of Whitehall " -don't really need to say "of Whitehall" following on from the preceding sentence
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) —Preceding undated comment added 10:40, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • " It was erected in 2000, and commemorates the use of tanks in both World Wars. The memorial depicts five World War II tank crew members." - I would reword as "Erected in 2000, it commemorates the use of tanks in both World Wards and depicts five World War II tank crew members"
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:40, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Whitehall is also home to six other monuments: Prince George, Duke of Cambridge (Commander-in-Chief of the British Army), Liberal Party, Liberal Unionist Party and Unionists leader Spencer Cavendish, 8th Duke of Devonshire, Douglas Haig, 1st Earl Haig (known as the Earl Haig Memorial),[c] Field Marshal Montgomery (commander of the 8th Army, the 21st Army Group and Chief of the Imperial General Staff),[3] William Slim, 1st Viscount Slim, Commander of the 14th Army and Governor-General of Australia,[30] and Alan Brooke, 1st Viscount Alanbrooke, Chief of the Imperial General Staff.[31" -some idea of where these are distributed would be good. Could use footnotes describing locations if you don't want to bloat it.
I've added "from north to south". This isn't directly in any of the other sources following (all of which only talk about the existence of the statue and verifying it is on Whitehall), but you can verify the relative location on Google Maps or, if you're really adventurous, by walking from Trafalgar Square to Parliament and having a look. So I don't think it's original research to state that. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 12:04, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll pass this in 2 hrs 1 minute, just to ensure that it is seen as an adequate review of over 2 hrs. ;-)♦ Dr. Blofeld 09:33, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]


GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

I know I shouldn't be passing articles for at least two weeks for the reviews to be any good nowadays but this does meet GA criteria, at least in my opinion.. Excellent job.♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:26, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Dr. Blofeld: Cheers again - just before we wrap this up though, I'm wondering if we can name-check Yes Minister under "Cultural references". It's obviously set in some generic place on or near Whitehall, isn't it? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 12:17, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Indeed! You're welcome.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:03, 12 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

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