Talk:William Henry Powell (soldier)
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William Henry Powell (soldier) has been listed as one of the Warfare good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: December 28, 2017. (Reviewed version). |
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:William Henry Powell (soldier)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 05:59, 25 December 2017 (UTC)
Peacemaker67, thank you so much for reviewing this article. Very impressive—you work very fast and the article was so long. I'm sorry you found so many things. I have some family visiting right now, but still hope to work on this over the next few days. TwoScars (talk) 21:38, 26 December 2017 (UTC)
This article is in pretty good shape. Despite my pretty limited knowledge of the ACW, I have a few comments/queries:
- the lead needs a bit of work:
- link Union (American Civil War) and captain (armed forces), and consider linking regiment, brigade and division
- to be fair, he didn't capture a 500-man camp, he attacked such a camp, scattered it and captured 124. Something along those lines. And the lack of friendly casualties isn't explicitly in the body of the article. I assume some Confederates were killed and/or wounded, although that also isn't in the body?
- Reworded using "Powell was awarded his country's highest award for bravery during combat, the Medal of Honor, for heroism at Sinking Creek, Virginia, when, as leader of a group of 22 men, he captured an enemy camp and took over 100 prisoners. This was accomplished without the loss of any of his men on November 26, 1862. He was honored with the award on July 22, 1890." In the main body, which now mentions casualties, I have added a note that explains the Medal of Honor and why some were awarded much later after the war. The note also has Powell's citation linked. TwoScars (talk) 23:07, 26 December 2017 (UTC)
- a short sentence fragment to explain what he did before the war might be in order
- the bit about surgeons on both sides isn't supported by the body
- That was in Walker's book. Added that to the note after "...and Powell believed to be mortally wounded."
- I like the quote, works well. If you want to use the whole quote in the lead, I suggest using the whole quote in the body and dropping the fn from the lead
- I want to make sure I have this right. I can drop the footnote in the lead (footnote 1), and repeat the whole quote in the body (under Division Commander)—do I have that right? TwoScars (talk) 17:49, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- Per MOS:LEADCITE, the verification policy requires you to footnote something in the lead if it might realistically be challenged. But, as everything in the lead should be reflected in the body, and you've now cited the quote in the body, it is a bit redundant. Others may disagree of course. IMO footnoting in the lead is more of a pre-emptive action to forestall arguments, as many people just read the lead. Alternatively you could summarise the quote and the other praise he received rather than use the quote verbatim in the lead. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 02:50, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
- I want to make sure I have this right. I can drop the footnote in the lead (footnote 1), and repeat the whole quote in the body (under Division Commander)—do I have that right? TwoScars (talk) 17:49, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- "work
eding in a rolling mill"? - "large iron works
in Ironton" a bit repetitive- Agree. Changed to "When the American Civil War began in 1861, Powell was general superintendent and financial agent of this large iron works."
- could you add a sentence about why the southern states seceded? and link secession
- Will do later—that can be controversial. TwoScars (talk) 17:49, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- I think it is critical background to the fighting, and a properly balanced explanation will serve you well for use in other articles. As an unschooled Australian, I rely on the Oxford Companion to Military History, which says it was basically about chattel slavery, with "states rights" as a cover for that, but there were obviously also other factors I'm not across. All you have to do is present the academic consensus and use a few sources to support it. It doesn't have to be an essay. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:07, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
- Will do later—that can be controversial. TwoScars (talk) 17:49, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- "normally operated
apartindependently from Cox"? - drop the parentheses here (and to fill a vacancy caused by the Bolles resignation)
- "was driven southward up"
- I'd drop the rank if it hasn't changed since last mention, for example, with Colonel Paxton
- after he's been introduced, George Crook should just be Crook per WP:SURNAME, with the addition of a new rank as appropriate ie "Brigadier General Crook"
- "
the cavalry's ColonelPaxton" - "
ColonelPaxton ended..." see earlier - "During March 1863,
Lieutenant ColonelPowell" - Who was Scammon? In terms of his command.
- Changed sentence to say "General Eliakim P. Scammon, the division commander after Crook had been sent elsewhere, dismissed Paxton after the regiment returned to camp." TwoScars (talk) 17:49, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- link Parole#Prisoners of war
- I know there are other Charleston's, but I think once you've linked it, you can get away with just Charleston unless another Charleston comes up
- "On April 30, now General Crook"
- "
GeneralAverell's forehead" - "so command fell to
ColonelPowell" - "
GeneralCrook's infantry" there are several instances of this - "
GeneralAverell's 2nd Cavalry Division" there are multiple instances of "General Averell" after he is introduced - "Hunger's Lynchburg Campaign was organized" who was Hunger? Or is that Hunter?
- should it just be "Powell's
Bbrigade"? Several instances of this. Unless of course that was its proper name
more to come. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:20, 25 December 2017 (UTC)
- link Potomac River at first mention
- "to escape from
a" - "
Confederate GeneralMcCausland's cavalry" - suggest "1st, 2nd, and 3rd West Virginia
cavalriesCavalry Regiments" - "President
AbrahamLincoln" - "
GeneralSheridan" now he's been introduced, there is another example or two - just to dispense with parentheses, suggest "On September 24, shortly after assuming command of the division,..."
- "Generals
John D.Imboden, Bradley Johnson, andJohnMcCausland" - "Powell's Division" was this its formal name? If not, drop the D
- "who temporarily took command"?
- Reworded to say "...where he met with General George Armstrong Custer. At that time, Custer assumed command of the 2nd Cavalry Division."
- "2nd Division" should that be 2nd Cavalry Division? Same with 3rd Division?
- link Bushwhacker
- link Luray, Virginia, Front Royal, Virginia, Sperryville, Virginia, and Chester Gap, Virginia at first mention
- the sentence beginning "Because all but one person from Averell's staff..." seems out of place. Shouldn't it be where he first took command?
- "put temporarily under the command"
- changed to "detached to"
- Merrit→Merritt
- "
GeneralMcCausland" - "(infamous for the burning of Chambersburg)." needs a closing quotation mark. Also, is that bit in parentheses part of the quote?
- "
GeneralTorbert" - in the "Animosity with Confederacy" section, it mentions that the 2nd Virginia Cavalry were heavily engaged with bushwhackers early on, but this isn't reflected very well in the chronology. I'm not sure whether much of this section could have been included as it arose in the chronology.
- I'm open to shortening it. The point here is to add the opposing viewpoint (which I think is interesting)—he was disliked in the South, unpopular in the pro-Confederate newspapers, had a war of words with Mosby, and the circumstances for his exit of the army are not perfectly clear. Suggestions? TwoScars (talk) 22:17, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- All I'd do at this stage is move the mention of his early work against bushwhackers up to the appropriate part of the chronology.
- I'm open to shortening it. The point here is to add the opposing viewpoint (which I think is interesting)—he was disliked in the South, unpopular in the pro-Confederate newspapers, had a war of words with Mosby, and the circumstances for his exit of the army are not perfectly clear. Suggestions? TwoScars (talk) 22:17, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- on second mention, "
Confederate General SamJones" - "
Confederate ColonelMosby to write an open letter toGeneralSheridan" - "buggy accident" link Horse and buggy, as many readers will not know what that was
- "President
Rutherford B.Hayes" already introduced - explain what the Grand Army of the Republic was
- one thing that bugs me is that he was awarded the MoH years after the war? Some explanation of how that came about would be in order.
- image licensing is all fine
- there is a footnote to Magid without a full citation
- Wallace 1887 fn's should probably be 1897 or vice versa
- Rolston 2015 and 2017 fn's and citations don't match either
- Cox, Ohio Roster Commission 1895, Patchan 2013, Scott 1887, Scott et al 1893 all don't have footnotes pointing to them, if not used, maybe put them in a Further reading section?
Otherwise, that's me done, placing on hold for a bit for these to be addressed. Really interesting article, I think you've captured him well. Has been a nice distraction from the usual Christmas drama in the RW. Don't bust a gut responding, it's Christmas! As a Milhist member, you might like to consider submitting this and other articles you work on for the monthly article writing contest. It is great to see new names submitting entries, and you'll get more interest from reviewers if your user name is better known to others. Merry Christmas! Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 08:42, 25 December 2017 (UTC)
- Done for today. For tomorrow: cause of Civil War sentence and grammar suggestions from Factotem, plus any suggestions for the Animosity with Confederacy" section. TwoScars (talk) 22:17, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- The Beyer & Keydel 1907 footnote doesn't link to a full citation. If you add importScript('User:Ucucha/HarvErrors.js'); to your common.js page, it will run a script that allows you to see when there are harv errors like this. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:19, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
- I believe I have things cleaned up. I'm open to any other suggestions. One Peer Reviewer did not like the section headings. TwoScars (talk) 22:12, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
- Great job. I personally think the headings are ok. This article is quite impressive. In addition to perhaps listing it for the monthly article writing contest, I recommend you put it up for Milhist A-Class review next, as I think it has the potential to get to FA, and ACR is a great way to get some more eyes on it and make sure it is ready. This article is well-written, verifiable using reliable sources, covers the subject well, is neutral and stable, contains no plagiarism, and is illustrated by appropriately licensed images with appropriate captions. Passing. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 23:40, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
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