Template:Did you know nominations/Carol Van Strum

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Theleekycauldron (talk) 01:50, 7 April 2022 (UTC)

Carol Van Strum

Created by Balance person (talk). Nominated by Michael D. Turnbull (talk) at 22:50, 25 February 2022 (UTC).

  • comment only - Interesting woman. Need to check tone and refs. "fraudulent or nonexistent studies, and decisions to continue marketing known carcinogens, mutagens and teratogens" may be true but we need a rock solid ref to note who says these things. ) 10:00, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
Interesting life, on fine sources, welcome to DYK, Balance person! As Victuallers noticed, some references are missing, and the line mentioned above is not supported by the source given. Is it in a different one, or what did I miss. In the first hook, I don't like the abbreviation, which my tell the general reader nothing. I like the title of her book. ALT1: the sheer number is impressive, but is it interesting enough? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:57, 8 March 2022 (UTC)
GerdaArendt talk Thank you and Victuallers for the time you took to read about CVS and for your welcome. I have added a citation for the half-life bit. I have added a hedge, namely the phrase... it is said...before the part that is hard to prove because it involves reading and quoting many legal papers. Forgive my inexperience if the hedge is not enough. I am happy to learn.
Thank you, - I'll look but not today. Well get there! What I like about her book is the full title which tells us what her focus is, - just the first half is a bit foggy ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:22, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
@Gerda Arendt: how's it goin'? theleekycauldron (talkcontribs) (she/they) 02:22, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
thank you for the reminder - tough times, sorry. This works but is a bit complex, offering also a rephrased
ALT2a: ... that Carol Van Strum, an environmental activist who wrote the book A Bitter Fog, accumulated in her barn in more than 40 years 20,000 documents revealing corporate and government cover-ups?
better wording welcome, but I'm afraid that "kept more than 40y" is only true only for the oldest documents, no?
Thank you for raising awareness for this! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 07:18, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
@Gerda Arendt, Balance person, and Michael D. Turnbull: I was going to promote this, but the hook is too awkward sounding for my liking. Here's some suggested ALTs below:
  • ALT2b: ... that Carol Van Strum, an environmental activist who wrote the book A Bitter Fog, spent 40 years accumulating 20,000 documents that revealed corporate and government cover-ups?
  • ALT2c: ... that Carol Van Strum, an environmental activist who wrote the book A Bitter Fog, accumulated 20,000 documents over 40 years that revealed corporate and government cover-ups?
  • ALT2d: ... that Carol Van Strum, an environmental activist who wrote the book A Bitter Fog, spent 40 years researching corporate and government cover-ups and accumulated over 20,000 documents?
  • ALT2e: ... that Carol Van Strum, an environmental activist who wrote the book A Bitter Fog, researched corporate and government cover-ups for 40 years and accumulated over 20,000 documents?
My suggestions remove the barn reference, to try to tighten up the language. It can be added back in if desired. Please post which ALT is best, or suggest others below. Z1720 (talk) 01:10, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
ALT2c to T:DYK/P2