Template:Did you know nominations/Peter Addyman

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 00:22, 12 April 2018 (UTC)

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Peter Addyman[edit]

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Source: Bell 2008: "Dr Peter Addyman, the former director of York Archaeological Trust, officially collected the title of Honorary Freeman at a ceremony at the Mansion House on Wednesday. The title now means he can drive three sheep across Ouse Bridge or graze three beasts on York's Knavesmire."

5x expanded by Usernameunique (talk). Self-nominated at 01:19, 12 March 2018 (UTC).

  • - Someone else will have to count the characters, but by eye this expansion looks to me like it should be enough on x5 expansion and 1,500 length. Seems neutral, and there are citations which seem to support the content, but I can't read Who's Who, which is marked as free access but requires a subscription. I did not spot any copyright or plagiarism problems, but it is a slightly unsatisfactory read: frankly, it gives the impression of "painting by numbers", pulling together disparate facts from different sources without much sense of a narrative structure. Your recent article on Dominic Tweddle is so much better. My fault, no doubt, but for example, I'd probably start with his birth, rather than putting it near the end, and then work through chronologically, from his education (why is that in the lead section?) through his career, to his latest exploits. Not sure why the article needs to mention three random other people who are Honorary Freeman of the City of York. Some of the cited sources mention more details of relevance that could be added, such as his service on various advisory committees. And he was one of four people awarded the British Academy's President's Medal in 2015, and it would more relevant to mention the fellow medal winners than a random peace campaigner or opera singer who also has (rarely exercised) rights to drive sheep over a bridge. No link for the Malton Museum - perhaps Malton, North Yorkshire? Does he have any more publications worth mentioning? For example [1]. Would the hook be more interesting if it mentioned his fellow 2015 medal winners, Darren Henley, Elizabeth Livingstone, or Michael Wood? (Oh, look, a "Woman In Red" right there. Here is a starter for ten: "independent scholar...editorial work on successive editions of The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church". Almost inevitably, we have an article on her co-editor, Frank Leslie Cross.) Sorry, that was probably not the review you were looking for. Theramin (talk) 02:28, 12 March 2018 (UTC)
  • Well I can't say I was expecting a review that was longer than the article itself, Theramin, but I also can't say you're wrong about most of the points you address. I've expanded the article threefold, and restructured it, based on your review. Please take another look and let me know what you think. I'm sure more details about Addyman's time at the York Archaeological Trust could be added, as could more publications—as director of the YAT, he was the editor of many—but I'm not sure that they're needed at this point. Also, I can generate more hooks if you think them better, but I see the hook as an opportunity to grab one's attention, not an opportunity to distill someone's life into 200 characters or less; if the former succeeds, then the reader nonetheless becomes informed of the latter. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:43, 12 March 2018 (UTC)
  • Oh, with that further expansion, the article is so much better (I still don't think there is much point mentioning Joyce Pickard, Ron Cooke, or Janet Baker; I still think it would be worth mentioning some of the other publications; and it would be nice to have articles on Malton Museum and Elizabeth Livingstone. But none of that is really relevant to the DYK criteria.) Good to go, I think. (Could not resist writing an article on the missing theologian.) Theramin (talk) 00:05, 13 March 2018 (UTC)
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