Template:Did you know nominations/Susan O'Malley

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 22:24, 22 March 2018 (UTC)

Susan O'Malley[edit]

5x expanded by Innisfree987 (talk). Self-nominated at 03:22, 10 March 2018 (UTC).

  • - Expansion was started on 8 March, and by far exceeds the threshold. This is a pretty massive expansion, having only been the length of two three prose sentences before Innisfree987's contributions, and I commend them on their work! The article is well cited, and is fairly neutral, with good uses of quotations from citations. I don't see any obvious issues with the way the article is formatted, and the nominator's QPQ is satisfactory. The one thing I would change, however, is the hook. It's no doubt an interesting hook, marking the first woman to head a franchise in a major North American sporting league, though it can be slightly shortened and worded better. My suggestion is below. – PhilipTerryGraham (talk · contribs · count) 12:46, 13 March 2018 (UTC)
ALT2: ... that Susan O'Malley was the first female president of a National Basketball Association franchise?
Thanks for the review and the kind words, PhilipTerryGraham, as well as the tightened hook--that phrasing looks good to me! Innisfree987 (talk) 17:17, 13 March 2018 (UTC)
@Innisfree987: – hook has been updated, and now I'm good to give this nomination the green light! – PhilipTerryGraham (talk · contribs · count) 17:26, 13 March 2018 (UTC)