User:DJ Cane/GA List

This is the list from Talk:Kennewick, Washington/GA1 showing edits that need to be made. I am placing it here so I can check stuff off as I work on them. Notes I have addressed are in italics.

Lead

• No refs in lead
• Omit sentence with pop count for Tri-Cities, fits better in that topic's article
• The discovery of Kennewick Man along the banks of the river... -- which river?

Native peoples

• Native Americans populated the area around modern-day Kennewick for millennia before being discovered and settled by Americans who descended from Europeans. -- touchy topic. Just say "European descendants"
• There are conflicting stories on how Kennewick gained its name; most attribute it in some form to the Native Americans living in the area. -- who? (who tag added)
• Legend holds that the strangest was "Tehe," -- reading the referenced article, there is no mention of this being "the strangest" so I have to assume this is your own opinion. The source also does not inform of the little girl
• This is corroborated by early settlers sent to the area with the city listed as Tehe, Washington. -- settlers or letters?
• Any information on the of the tribe(s) that settled in the area? (tribe names, village names, etc)

Settlement and early 20th century

• subheading -- settlement by whomst? clarify as you had just talked about native settlement
• The Umatilla and Yakama tribes ceded the land Kennewick stands on at the Walla Walla Council in 1855. -- expand; why did they cede?
• Some Ainsworth residents would commute to what is now Kennewick via small boats for work. -- expand; what type of work?
• This initial boom only lasted briefly, as most of the people who came to Kennewick left after the bridge was finished. -- why and to where?
• Like many other agricultural communities, the Great Depression had an impact in Kennewick. -- vague; communities where? what kind of impact? assume the reader doesn't know what the Great Depression is.
• Growth was aided by federal projects that improved the Columbia River. -- improved how? you can probably merge this with the next couple sentences

Hanford boom

• the United States opened the Hanford nuclear site in and north of Richland. -- in and north??
• The federal government constructed housing in Richland, but many employees of that site then commuted from Kennewick. -- why?
• The plutonium refined at the Hanford site was used in the Fat Man bomb used to attack Nagasaki in 1945 in the decisive final blow of the war. -- I would omit the part after 1945
• As the Hanford Site's purpose has evolved, there has continually been a tremendous influence from the site on the workforce and economy of Kennewick. -- grammar; not really sure what you're trying to say here
• An effort to build a new bridge began in 1949 and was funded in 1951. -- by who?
• Traffic between Kennewick and Pasco, largely due to commuters heading to and from the Hanford Site in Richland and McNary Dam, which was under construction near Umatilla, Oregon. The two-lane Green Bridge was the only one for automobiles across the Columbia River in the Tri-Cities at the time, and the 10,000 cars crossing it daily had created traffic problems. -- incoherent
• In 1963, the Washington State Board Against Discrimination indicted Kennewick for its sundown town policy. -- result??
• Cars that didn't have external filters stopped functioning during the eruption -- this is a misinterpretation of the source
• Kennewick and surrounding areas have been dusted by smaller eruptions of Mount St. Helens since. -- as late as..?
• The 1980s also brought the two most serious attempts -- debatable, opinionated; advise remove
• This resulted from an economic -- These*?
• and what about the second merge attempt?

1990 to present

• Ownership of the bones has been a matter of great controversy. -- why?
• After a court litigation, a group of researchers were allowed to study the remains and perform various tests and analyses. -- expand upon the court litigation if it doesn't have its own article
• primarily due to consistent job growth in the metro area during that period. -- how?
• While growth has been experienced throughout the city, new development has been strongest in the Southridge area along U.S. Route 395 and in the west part of the city. -- why?

More later. --truflip99 (talk) 03:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)

Geography

• The entire Pacific Northwest is threatened with subduction zone earthquakes, which can exceed magnitudes of 9. -- denote richter scale
• The last of these earthquakes, which are similar to the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake in Japan -- rather, say "which could be compared to"
• Damage is expected to be minimal in and around Kennewick, but destruction west of the Cascades could have a major impact of the economy of inland areas. -- you should probably precede this with "should the next earthquake occur"

Demographics

• 25.7% of all households were made up of individuals -- do you mean single individuals
• cite needed for 2000 census

Economy

• Irrigation has further enhanced the region, further diversifying the product coming from the Columbia Basin. -- specify; enhanced the region's what? what product?
• Despite this growth, unemployment remains above both the national and state averages. -- give example in a particular year
• residents who commute to those areas for work. -- I assume you mean who commute from Kennewick?

More later. --truflip99 (talk) 19:23, 19 April 2020 (UTC)

Culture

• The most significant of these is the Tri-Cities Water Follies -- sounds like opinion; if it's the largest, then better to just say that (with source)

Sports

• I would make Spots a sub of Sulture as it isn't that big
• The other significant professional sports team in the Tri-Cities, the Tri-City Dust Devils (associated with the San Diego Padres) plays at Gesa Stadium in Pasco. -- omit significant; say that it is a farm team

Parks and rec

• which was placed in the southeast corner of the complex as a memorial to the victims of the September 11 attacks in 2001. -- was, as in no longer there?

Education

• Vocational programs at Tri-Tech firefighting, radio broadcasting, and auto body technology. -- fragment sentence
• address the unreliable source tag

Media

• make this a sub of the Culture sub

Refs

• Ref 8: not a valid url
• Ref 10: need author, date, access date
• Mass, Cliff (2008). -- unacceptable formatting; need to use either WP:CITESHORT or WP:IBID
• Ref 127: unacceptable formatting, use citeweb tp
• Ref 128: access date