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My least favorite place in California: Anywhere between Bakersfield and Stockton, in the middle of August...actually, even more specifically, here's my absolute LEAST favorite place to be in California: on I-5, between SR 198 (which goes over to Hanford, Visalia, and Sequoia National Park/Kings Canyon National Park) and SR 33, (which goes to Los Banos)...you know, the loooooooooooong stretch of I-5 where it's two lanes, and runs through probably one of the most desolate parts of California? Yeah, there...in a traffic jam that added 4 hours onto a trip from San Diego to San Francisco...been there, done that. My advice: DO NOT drive ANYWHERE in California that uses major arteries during the Thanksgiving holiday. It was a fucking nightmare.
My California Tips (for those brave/bored enough to read this far):
Scenic driving: California is a place of such sheer natural beauty that it begs, nay, demands enjoyment by each and every person lucky enough to tread on its soil. Having lived here all my life has provided me the opportunity to do so in spades. Lately, I have been exploring Northern California, never ceasing to be stunned and amazed by the beauty surrounding me. In the last few months, I have driven over 20,000 miles throughout Northern California, and have some recommendations if you enjoy long scenic drives:
Lake Berryessa: For those in the Sacramento region, Lake Berryessa (Napa County) provides a relaxing, peaceful opportunity to unwind and enjoy some lovely scenery without straying too far from home and dealing with the crowds at such places as Lake Tahoe. It is a low-altitude lake nestled among the hills just west of Winters. The roads that hug the lake's edges provide numerous opportunities for scenic views and plenty of water access: Follow SR 128 (Grant Ave.) west out of Winters for about 10 miles, and you're there. Now, this is only the very southeast corner of the lake. To see the rest, you have to drive several more miles up the road (now called Capell Valley Rd.). It splits into SR 128 (right turn) and SR 121 (straight) after a while. In order to stay near the lake, turn right to continue on SR 128 (Capell Valley Rd.). This will take you several miles though Capell Valley, then you're near the lake again. To access the lake, turn right onto Berryessa-Knoxville Rd. toward Spanish Flat (a few miles after the SR 121/SR 128 split). This road winds it way up the western shore of the lake, and provides (in my opinion) the best views of Lake Berryessa you will find. At the north tip of the lake is the Eticuera daily use area, which is not only beautiful and peaceful, but sparsely populated. The only caveat to this: unless you are nuts like me, don't continue on Berryessa-Knoxville Rd. past the lake. It turns into Morgan Valley Rd., which is a 1.5 lane, pothole-filled forestry dept.-maintained road that physically crosses Eticuera Creek about 10 times...and at certain times of the year, the creek is more like a river (yes, I forded the creek/river in my Saab...probably not the best of ideas, but it was a thrill...not only that, but the last time I was on that road, there was a felled tree blocking about 90% of the road...I barely got my car by...almost had to turn around). So, my advice is to turn around once you've reached the northern tip of the lake, unless you have familiarized yourself with the roads, have a reliable car, and have a lot of time on your hands (it's a long road). By the way, at the split I mentioned earlier, if you follow Monticello Rd. (SR 121) insead of turning onto SR 128, it will lead you straight into Napa (turns into Trancas St. at the north end of town)...a very nice alternative to the traffic on I-80 and SR 12, and it actually takes the same amount of time (an hour from Davis).
Clear Lake: A little further up in the hills (to the northwest) from Lake Berryessa is Clear Lake (Lake County), another nestled lake worth seeing. The surrounding area is far more populated than that surrounding Lake Berryessa, so it's a little less isolated, but the region is definitely worth experiencing. In fact, my favorite thing to do in this area is drive through the low-altitude mountains abutting the lake. You can access Clear Lake from the Sacramento region by taking I-5 north to SR 20 west in Williams. This will take you right by the lake. Now, the mountains I mentioned that I like to drive through are southwest of SR 20. I like to access them by continuing from Lake Berryessa (as above) along SR 128, which ends at Silverado Trail between Napa and Calistoga. I then turn right (north) onto Silverado Trail, and follow it about 15 miles or so until I reach SR 29, which I take north until I reach Middletown. In Middletown, I turn left onto SR 175 (west), which snakes its way up to an elevation of 3,000 feet before coming back down the hill to form a concurrency with SR 29. I follow SR 29/175 until it splits off again, where I turn west onto SR 175, which makes its way through another small range of hills to meet up with US 101 in Hopland.
The Sierras: OK, the pièce de résistance is the spectacular Sierra Nevadas. Not only are they beautiful, thay are expansive. There are numerous state highways winding their way through this range, and each is definitely worth experiencing. Again, you need a lot of time for these roads. My favorites are SR 88, SR 36, SR 89, SR 70, SR 28, SR 49, SR 20, and SR 4. All traverse amazing topography, and access isolated little mountain towns with their own unique charms. Being above 5,000 feet is a treat for me (lived most of my life at sea level), so these roads provide me hours upon hours of singular pleasure. I try to avoid Lake Tahoe like the plague due to the crowds and traffic, and these roads are perfect for achieving that end. Not only that, but I like to visit Nevada occasionally by taking US 395 from SR 36 in Susanville through Reno, and continuing on SR 88 after Carson City to get back into California. Either that, or I will drop down from the Tahoe area into Nevada via roads such as SR 431 (NV) or SR 207 (NV) in order to access US 395.
The Coast: Take SR 1 from US 101 just north of San Francisco, and follow it north for some of the most amazing coastal scenery you will find anywhere. Simply spectacular. This is a very long, winding trip up the coast, but there are routes that allow you to head back east over to US 101 if necessary, such as SR 12, SR 128 (which makes its way through a gorgeous coastal redwood forest), and SR 20.
The Sierra Foothills OK, experiencing the high Sierras is certainly a necessity, but I would also argue the same for their foothills. I lived in the hills southeast of Fresno for about 6 years, and had the chance to explore some of the roads. One route in particular is a favorite of mine for two reasons: 1) it is a beautiful scenic drive that rescues you from the doldrums of the Central Valley floor, and 2) there are very few people on these roads, providing for scenic driving without the stress of other drivers. Follow SR 198 east out of Visalia until you reach SR 245. Turn left and follow SR 245 north through Woodlake. North of Woodlake, SR 245 makes a 1/4-mile detour west along Avenue 364 before turning back north to join up with Millwood Dr. After another 15 miles or so of winding road, you will come to CR J21 (Dry Creek Dr.). Turn right and follow CR J21 south for about 20 miles. In the Spring, this is some really gorgeous driving. This road will take you down to SR 216, which you can follow west into Woodlake, or east to SR 198.
Beware of Sacramento drivers: I have driven all over this state, from Eureka to San Ysidro, and from Atascadero to Bishop, and have seen all sorts of bizarre driving habits. Yet, in my 16 years of California driving, I have never witnessed as massive a concentration of poor drivers as exists in Sacramento. So, if you ever find yourself in Sacramento, be very cautious. In addition to being unbelievably slow, Sacramento drivers have a tendency to not only fail to use their turn signals, but fail to check the lane into which they are turning/merging for other drivers, making for an extremely accident-prone, stressful driving environment. This is why my auto insurance premiums were higher in Sacramento vs. San Francisco andL.A., and why when I moved from Sacramento to Davis, I got a $100/month reduction in my premium!
Never drive in San Francisco without someone who knows the City: If you've never been there, and are intending to visit by car, either travel with someone who knows the street system, or take the time to study it before tackling it. In contrast to places like L.A., with its huge boulevards and myriad freeways, and rare one-way streets, San Francisco is a true test of one's driving mettle. The thing to remember about navigating San Francisco is to plan your route. There are numerous one-way streets, and oftentimes, reaching your destination requires making loops through the one-way grid. In addition to this, streets oftentimes will change direction, or go from one-way to two-way, etc. Next, are the pedestrians. Because of its small size (49 square miles), San Francisco presents a glorious opportunity to walk from one place to another, so many of its residents are afoot, resulting in congested sidewalks and crosswalks, so when driving in the City always use caution. Always expect pedestrians at an intersection (and even the middle of the block), even if it doesn't look like there are any. It's surprising how someone can suddenly "appear". There have been many instances of pedestrians struck by cars in the City because of this. Next, there are the hills. Oh, those hills. Some are really steep. Some are really steep. Then there are the really steep hills...manual transmission not recommended. Seriously, some of the hills are so steep, they put steps on the sidewalks. And last, but not least, double-parking. In san Francisco, double-parking isn't just a periodic occurrence...it's a way of life. Because the City is so small, there is painfully little parking for the number of people that live there and visit on a daily basis. Therefore, for those short trips in and out of the convenience store, for picking up the carry-out order, for dropping off a friend's couch, for picking up a passenger, for picking up the T.V. stand you ordered, for running back in to get the tickets you forgot, etc., double-parking has replaced the parking lots and the driveways that just don't fit in San Francisco. However, it comes at the cost of blocking a lane of traffic, so WATCH OUT! Be ever-prepared for a double-parked vehicle (especially when cresting those steep hills, and everyone is pushing you to move faster), because you are almost guaranteed to come across at least one or two (on both one-way and two-way streets, no less) while driving in the City.
Another thing: if you aren't familiar with S.F. streets, do NOT drive on Market St. unless you have to. Market St. is very odd: it runs diagonally through the City, cutting the older part into two separate grid patterns (Downtown/North Beach/Fisherman's Wharf to the north; SOMA to the south), oriented at about 45 degrees to one another. Market St. is really most useful if you are traveling by foot/public transport. S.F. is a rarity among California cities: it actually has pretty damn good public transit, albeit old, rickety, and slow. The good thing is, S.F. is small, meaning there is sufficient public transit to get just about anywhere from just about anywhere else...you just have to know which mode of transit and which lines to use. Thusly, Market St. is used mainly for buses and the rail cars (from Italy, no less) that run its length. Otherwise, the people driving on it are usually locals, cops, or taxis. The reason everyone else avoids it (for good reason) is that you can make very few turns off Market. Left turns are nearly non-existent, while right turns can be not only confusing, but hard to negotiate. On top of this, there are two lanes, one of which is designated for buses only, but everyone drives in both anyway (this is true throughout the City). Being in the bus only lane runs you the risk of getting stuck behind buses and cable cars paused at one of the numerous stops. My advice: figure out which part of the grid you want to be in, and use the grid itself - there are numerous one-way streets, and usually alternate evenly (e.g. one street going one-way north, while the next block goes one-way south) with good consistency. if you have to cross Market to get to the other grid (e.g. from SOMA to North Beach), use the North-South streets of each grid. There are numerous North-South streets that cross Market (usually one-way). The East-West streets tend to be a bad choice for crossing Market (with a few exceptions, of course). The best way to get between the grids: 8th and 9th Streets. OK, here's the thing: they are 8th and 9th in SOMA (stands for South Of MArket), but change upon crossing Market, as do most of the streets that cross Market: 9th St. runs Northbound, and once it crosses Market St., it splits into Hayes (running one-way West) and Larkin (running one-way North). On the other hand, Hyde St. (one-way South) in the northerly grid becomes 8th St. (one-way South) once it crosses Market St. Otherwise, the best street to use for getting around is Van Ness. Van Ness is basically US 101 through S.F. It is one of the major North-South arteries through the City, and connects the Central Freeway (I-80/US 101) to the Golden Gate Bridge via Lombard St. in the Marina District. It cuts across Market as if it were a normal street, and has three lanes on each side. It has the slight disadvantage of having few left turns available, but negotiating your route using the ones that do exist is simplified by the grid system.
Dispelling California Rumors:
Hollywood is glamorous: Oh, please. If you go there, you'll be sorely disappointed if you're expecting glamour. The city of Hollywood itself is just like the rest of L.A.: strip malls, large boulevards, and foul air.
California is full of surfers: While there are certainly many who do surf in California, the bleached blonde, dim-witted, slacker, Sean Penn/Spicoli stereotype is just that: a stereotype. Most people I know that surf do so as something they enjoy that provides relaxation and diversion, rather than live on beaches, smoke pot, and do nothing. There are surf enthusiasts, and people who devote their lives to the sport, but they are like any other determined athlete: it becomes a mantra for them; a way of life. Furthermore, the "beach scene", if you will, is limited to Southern California (Santa Barbara to San Diego). There are two other major regions of California: Central and Northern California, for whom the Southern California "lifestyle" is alien. In fact, Northern Californians tend to view Southern California as rather barbaric. San Francisco is California's hub of progressive politics and forward thinking, while L.A. takes the lead as California's mass producer of popular culture, so the two are something like oil and water, if you will.
California has the best weather: Well, some parts (Southern California) are pretty damn near perfect in terms of weather, but just as with the surfer stereotype above, the constant perfect weather stereotype also does not apply to places other than coastal Southern California. Cases in point: L.A.'s Inland Empire and anything east of that is downright HOT in the summer. The high desert (Palmdale, Lancaster) gets quite cold. The Central Valley is an absolute oven from June through September. It's hot folks...real hot. Inland L.A. Empire ain't got nothin' on this heat...10 days straight of 115 degrees or so is not uncommon. And while it's not Minnesota or something, it gets pretty damn cold in the winter too. Northern California is cold and wet. It's approaching Oregon and Washington, so it gets quite a bit of rain, and really isn't all that warm and sunny. If you really want the best weather in California, San Diego's got it. I'd say it rarely drops below 65 degrees, and rarely rises above 85, all year 'round. The weather is simply perfect. Visit if you get a chance...you'll see what I mean.
California is being overrun by illegal immigrants: Yes, there are many illegal immigrants in California, but to say we're being overrun is ludicrous. In my eyes, conservative pundits railing aginst illegal immigration emanating from Mexico have failed to provide compelling evidence of the detriment to our economy, our culture, and our society as a whole posed by illegal immigrants. The way I see it, the immigrants themselves are receiving the shortest end of any proverbial stick. If they're desperate enough to risk their lives to find work in this country; are humble and eager enough to perform tasks most of us would cringe at the thought of doing; and can live their lives in a strange, unwelcoming new land without the benefits of health insurance, competetive wages, social security/retirement, credit/financial equity, voting rights, and other civil courtesies and protections, then how can their presence here be such a burden to us? I think we spend more money in deportation costs, INS costs, and Border Patrol costs per immigrant than we would in civil benefit costs if we documented their entry into the country, and allowed them to work temporarily while citizenship or legal alien status was processed, even after they've already arrived. I think it's antithetical to the tenets of our nation's foundations to systematically and unwaveringly deport thousands upon thousands of individuals without thought to amnesty and forgiveness. I mean, how many of these folks do you think actually know U.S. Immigration Policy??? How many of us Americans even do?! These are usually extremely poorly educated people whose own government doesn't inform as to its own policies, let alone ours.
Favorite Musical Genre: Well, everyone calls it "Classical", but I call it "Orchestral", because Classical Music refers to a period of musical style, whereas "Orchestral" better captures the distinction between what people call "serious music" (which I think is an extremely pretentious label) and other genres. Yeah, I know...I'm a snob. Bite me.
Least Favorite Musical Genre: Country. Can't stand the crap. I liked two Shania Twain songs (the remixes, of course), but otherwise, I'd rather chew broken glass.
Why I Support Wikipedia:
I strongly believe in education. Education combats ignorance. Education only arises through the availability of information...good information. As someone in the sciences who believes in public involvement in science, I have always wished to be at the forefront of providing current, verifiable, unambiguous information to the general public.
With the Internet having emerged as a rapid, ubiquitous, convenient, and absorbing medium for the dissemination and acquisition of information, I feel it my duty to assist frequently visited sites such as Wikipedia in constantly refining their information in order to achieve an increasingly higher standard of quality. This I can do by adding my knowledge where applicable, and in assisting in the clean-up of pages on topics with which I am very familiar.
All of this may seem trivial, but the more we strive to achieve excellence in our knowledge bases, the faster our society will advance. Keeping pace with the ever-expanding realm of the Internet will require the efforts of countless people. I am willing to do my share.
or, Things I've Noticed by Watching Every Episode 50 Million Octillion Kazillion Times[edit]
Margaret Cho is in the audience of Season 1, Episode 3. She is seated almost directly behind Mary Lynn Rajskub after the "Couple on Their Honeymoon" scene, where the writer of the scene, Peter Cancatankin (John Ennis), and his partner, Ken (Tom Kenny), are verbally abusing their overbearing fag-hag, Geri (Rajskub).
Janeane Garofalo (she's the housewife desperate for a solution to her paper bag clutter in the "Bag Hutch" commercial during the "Pit-Pat" sketch in Season 1, Episode 2)
Patton Oswalt (he's director Famous Mortimer, who is referenced often throughout the show, but only appears during the "Anchor Family Divorce" sketch immediately preceding the basketball recruiters sketch in Season 2, Episode 5)
Kato Kaelin (he appears in his most challenging role yet: himself. He shows up to lobotomized actor Borden Grote's party in Season 1, Episode 3)
Jon Stewart (just for completeness - his cameo is pretty obvious, as he provides the segue from the scene from "Hell in a Handbasket" to "Night Talk with the Senate Subcommittee" in Season 3, Episode 9)
Jon Cryer (you know...Duckie from "Pretty in Pink" - he drives up at the end of the Fat Kids/Monks camp competition, and tells Bob and David to "Get the fuck in here!" in Season 4, Episode 5) I know, I know, his cameo is obvious too because they yell "Duckie!!!", and if you don't know who Duckie is, well, you probably won't know Jon Cryer. Actually, Jon Cryer is now starring in a Fox TV show called "Two and a Half Men"...and to think I was convinced his career was over once the 90s began!
Accdording to Bob, the 5 States of The United States of America are Illinois, Indiana, Winkintin, Tzazini, and Chim-Cham.
There is only one instance of two actors playing the same character in different episodes. The character in question is Abraham Lincoln. Tom Kenny playes him in Season 1, Episode 4 (the sketch where the colors of the flag are decided, immediately following the "Spank" trial), while Bob plays him in Season 2, Episode 5 (he quips, "I was raised in a log cabin, and my family moved frequently...plus, my father touched my butthole. That's why I'm on your penny.").
Yes, Jeff Foxworthy does indeed have imminent death syndrome.
For those of us who, like me, are not inclined to remember our U. S. History, Button Gwinnett signed the Declaration of Independence representing Georgia (I had to look it up...yes, of course on Wikipedia!).
Actually, Greg Sniper is wrong. Tofu-based ice cream comes close, but the texture just isn't right. I agree with his employee Craig: I can tolerate it, but over and over, especially under the guise of being just as good as real ice cream? Uh-uh. I don't buy it. Send me to Nannadu...I don't care.
Jerry Minor appears only once during Season 2, and that was in Episode 5 ("Operation Hell on Earth"), contrary to what is says on IMDB about him having a role in Episode 6 ("The Velveteen Touch of a Dandy Fop") as well. I know that episode extremely well, and he never appears, nor is he in the credits. Most people likely associate him only with the 4th season, but hardcore fans know he also plays the dad of young Will Hawkins in the basketball recruiters sketch in Season 2, Episode 5. As far as the Season 2, Episode 6 reference on IMDB, I have no idea where they got that. They lie.
