User:Jacob Secrest
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Jacob Secrest is a humanoid entity. Somewhat shy and not fond of dancing, he enjoys writing, solitude, and things most people have never heard of. His most recent interest Toki Pona. Scholars frequently attribute such eccentricities to hipsterdom, which is probably true even if he won't admit it.
In addition to these obviously impressive accomplishments, he also enjoys talking about himself using third-person pronouns and spreading baseless boasts. Also, alliteration.