User:Montanabw/List of horse breeds promoters claim "truly primitive bred pure since Adam and Eve"

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List of horse breeds promoters claim "truly primitive bred pure since Adam and Eve." This also includes those created spontaneously by the hand of a deity, the ones landed by aliens, and the elusive precolumbian horse in North America surviving from the ice age. None of them have any genetic defects because they are so perfect that inbreeding doesn't enhance deleterious mutations because they never have any deleterious mutations.

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  1. Separate wild horse subspecies
  2. Not ONE DROP of Arabian blood, Turkoman and Arabians can't mate, mate!
  3. Pure-bred for x,000 years (enter your preferred number). Please discount that brief spell from 1900-1935.
  4. Also ignore the Thoroughbreds snuck in over in Kazakhstan in recent years.
  1. Ancestors painted on the caves of Lascaux
  2. Not ONE DROP of Barb blood, no matter what that DNA study said (DNA study? What lousy DNA study? We breeders don't need no DNA study!)
  3. Not ONE DROP of Arabian blood, either. No matter WHAT the pedigree records from the time of Isabella II said (and if there was, we got rid of every last drop!)
  4. Also don't dare call it Andalusian, it is The Pure SPANISH Horse free from the taint of those damned Lusitanos or other cross-bred mutts.
  1. The pure, untamed primitive wild horse had spots in the cave paintings
  2. Painted on the caves of Lascaux, don't listen to those stuck up Andalusian people.
  3. What spotted horses found in Kazakhstan?
  1. Created by the hand of Allah
  2. Separate wild horse subspecies
  3. Bred pure since Solomon, anyway (never mind the hand of Allah thing that pops up several centuries later)
  4. And all horse traders are perfectly honest when they swear by Allah the horse is Asil.
  5. Not counting that Muniqi crossbred that snuck in there 300 years ago
  1. Pure descendants of ponies on a sunken Spanish Galleon also loaded with gold, who miraculously managed to escape from tie stalls when the boat sank in a storm, swam ashore and have been bred in pure isolation ever since
  2. Not ONE DROP of blood from local Farmer Joe's draft stallion who got turned loose on the island to make little workhorses
  3. Not ONE DROP of blood from Planter Joe's Thoroughbred stallion who failed at the track and was turned loose on the island to make little saddle horses
  4. Oh, and it's not a Chincoteague pony, it's an Assateague horse!
  1. The hand of Allah may also have been involved here too
  2. Not ONE DROP of Arabian blood, our tails lay down, not up
  3. The Godolphin Barb WAS a Barb, even if his tail was carried high and who cares what that pedigree said?
  4. Not ONE DROP of Andalusian blood, no matter what that DNA study said (DNA study? What lousy DNA study? We breeders don't need no DNA study!)
  1. The oldest true breed of horse, and the ancestor of the Arabian!
  2. Presumed extinct for nearly 2000 years, and then rediscovered in the '60s.
  3. The horse that pulled the chariots of ancient kings.
  1. The pure, untamed primitive wild horse
  1. Descended from the faithful [choose per preference: Przewalski horses/Tarpans/separate wild horse species] individuals that accompanied the would-be-Finns to the cold and unforgiving North X,000 years ago.
  2. Disregard the centuries we spent mixing every four-legged equine to our stock to see what would stick; we totally eliminated every last drop of foreign blood in 50 years. Who knew it would be as easy as "sorrels in, others out"?
  1. The pure, untamed primitive wild horse
  2. Whaddya mean the Tarpan is extinct??
  1. The pure, untamed primitive wild horse that humans have not screwed up by things like proper nutrition and grooming
  1. The foundation of every major breed in the United States (and most minor ones, too)
  2. Also the mount of choice of the US military and every famous/notable general or politician who ever rode (and some who never did and/or couldn't tell a horse from a dairy cow)
  3. Bloodlines so strong they overwhelmed all other sources
  1. No really, horses didn't go extinct in North America, they just hid their fossils for 10,000 years
  2. But they are the pure Spanish horse brought by the Conquistators, whaddya mean someone threw in a few draft stallions to make them into workhorses? NO!
  1. The pure, untamed primitive wild horse
  2. Painted on the caves of Lascaux, don't listen to those stuck up Andalusian people.
  3. Mares magically immune to stallions representing the handful of other breeds roaming the same general area.
  1. The pure, untamed primitive wild horse that humans have not screwed up by things like proper nutrition and grooming
  1. The pure, untamed primitive wild horse
  2. Painted on the caves of Lascaux, don't listen to those stuck up Andalusian people.

Proud contributors[edit]

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