User:Oddmartian2/Wikipedia! the Musical

I think that the title to this page is pretty self explanatory. This just a game for Wikipedians who are tired of editing for the time being. Add and edit scenes, dialogue, lyrics, etc. and make it as ridiculous as you want.

Another Wikipedian has a Wikipedia the Movie in the making. When you're done here, check that out.

Act 1

Scene 1

Enter Mook and Pook in one of their school's computer labs. It is 'Computer Day' where everyone in the school uses computers for the whole day. Mook and Pook have just logged onto their computers.

Mook: Dude, have you heard of this awesome website called Wikipedia?
Pook: No, what is it?
Mook: It's a website that lets us edit WHATEVER WE WANT!
Pook: Dude, that's groovy! Let's go there and make an article about us!
Mook: Or Bob the Llama!
Pook: Will they let you?
Mook: No, that's why it's fun. You time how long it takes until the admins notice.
Pook: Oh, boy, that sounds fun.

Three hours later

Mook (reading from user talk page): You have been blocked from editing Wikipedia.
Pook: No fair. (Begins to cry) It's not fair.
Mook: Don't cry... If it helps, I'll uhh... erm... do a saucy puppet show!

Pook: *sob* Don't tell me it's that *sniff* "Mr. Puddingshins the Scoundrel" one! That was a *sob* TEARJERKER! WAAAH!

Mook: *sigh* Fine. How about... Snow White and the 7 WikiGnomes!

Pook: Groovy... *sniff*

(enter Mrs. Badhead, Mook and Pook's strict teacher)

Mrs. Badhead: You cannot edit Wikipedia while in school, boys! It says so in page 692, section b, subsection 32, in the school's handbook!
Pook: But who reads all 1,239 pages of that thing?
Mrs. Badhead: You're supposed to. Anyways, you have detention for 2 weeks.
Mook: Why not 3?
Mrs Badhead: Your wish is my command. 3 weeks of detention.
Pook: 3 weeks is nothing! Why, I once spent three weeks hiding in an old, abandoned church!
Mrs Badhead: You are grounded as well.
Mook: But how can you...
Mrs Badhead: I SAID GROUNDED, MOOK POOKERSON! THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO POOK MOOKERSON!
<Mrs Badhead launches into first song>

You boys, you're ground-ed,

But you would've been pound-ed,

If I could have my way!

Because I know just a detention,

This I don't have to mention,

Doesn't work on you, anyway!

You boys are a nui-sance,

Says me and Ms. Prudence,

And Mr. Mav-o-lac!

You eat up the paper,

Hammer with the stapler,

You create, too much hav-oc!

Mook: Think you can sing? listen to this!

(Mook starts singing)

Miss-us Badhead,

I wish you were-dead,

You heard what I said,

Every single student you dread-ed','

Something's wrong with your bad head!

I know, I am, a biped...?

Mrs Badhead: Biped? Yeah, nice lyrical skills genius! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Pook: Yeah, well you hate Another Brick in the Wall 'cos it has bad lyrics against education!

Mrs Badhead: Quiet, Pookerson!

Pook: NO! Cue Pink Floyd!

Roger Waters: Syd Barrett's zombie, did ya learn the music?

Syd Barrett: BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....

RW: And a 1, a 2, a 1,2,3...

Mrs. Badhead: Don't sing! NO!

(Sung to tune of "Another Brick in The Wall" by Pink Floyd)

Pook: We don't need no Mrs. Badhead,

She's messing with my street cred!

No senseless detentions for spelling "things" with a zed (zee for Americans)

Badhead leave my friends alone!

HEY! BADHEAD! LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!

All in all it's just some, more lines* on the board

All in all it's just some, more lines on the board.

* Lines are repeated words on a board, just like what Bart does.

RW: I hate my life.

David Gilmour: We hate you. We're only here for the food.

Rick Wright: BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSSS....

Mrs Badhead: Meh.

Mook: We'll see you in detention, loser-head.

Mrs Badhead: Meh.

Pook: So long, Badhead.

Mrs. Badhead: Meh.

Pook: Er...Mrs Badhead?

Mrs Badhead: IT'S MY ROBO PACEMAKER! I'M...I'M...

Mook: She's becoming a...

Pook: Real...

Mook: Live...

BOTH: EVIL ROBOT! AHHHHHHHHHH!

Pook: Wait, let's try singing! maybe she'll calm down!

Oh, how do you solve a problem like a Robot?

Mook: I don't know!

Pook : How 'bout a removed bloodclot?

Mook: Ew!

Pook: My uncle Earl gave it to me as a present, and besides, the writers are trying their best to make it rhyme, now sing along!

Mook: Oh, how do you solve a problem like a Robot?

How do you get an A+ on an exam?

What is a word that best describes Bad-head?

A comedian, a lunatic, a scam!

Mrs. Badhead: Stop!

Pook: What?

(Mrs Badhead grins)

Mrs. Badhead: Fooled you, boys! I was kidding. Or was I?

All 3: Dum dum dummm . . .

Scene 2

Mook and Pook are sitting and talking in the same old, abandoned church that Pook mentioned before. They have their laptop with them and are playing games on it.

Mook: This is so much more fun than editing boring old Wikipedia.
Pook: You said it. DIE, ZOMBIE, DIE!!!
Mook: I'm just glad that we finally got off of detention and grounding.
Pook: Yeah, that was totally getting boring. Why did you have to make it 3 weeks?
Mook: Because I experienced TWO MONTHS of detention before. 3 weeks is nothing.
Pook: Whatever. I'm just glad that it's all over.

Enter zombies of Syd Barrett and Rick Wright.

Syd Barrett: BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....
Rick Wright: BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSSS....
Syd Barrett: (points to Mook and Pook) BRAIIINNNNSSS?
Rick Wright: BRAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSS.

Syd and Rick approach them slowly, doing the regular zombie walk. Mook and Pook cower in the corner as a high-school girl (Marissa) enters through a window with puma ears, tail, and claws.

Marissa: When the zombies come out to feast

They'll meet me and get the least

Amount of brains they'll e'r receive

For I am the protector

Of all Wikipedians here and farther

To the east, whether they be clever or naïve!

When the vampires hunt for blood

They get less than if they ever would

Not have met me!

For I have a stake ready in hand

As for swords, those I hoard

And I will use all to smite thee!

Just don't ask me to kill a wolf

Whether be fluffy or Virginia Woolf

As I have harbored a great affection

For any creature covered in fur

Whether small as a mouse or large as an acre

Whether they be pale like snow or dark and ashen

Pook: That's fine, but can you save us?
Marissa: Of course I can! (swishes a sword, cutting off the zombies' heads)
Mook: They're zombies; what is already dead cannot stay down forever.
Marissa: Now you're catching up. You should warn the public by writing about them on Wikipedia.
Pook: Um, about that...
Marissa: What?
Mook: They blocked our accounts for vandalizing pages.
Marissa: There's only one thing to do.
Both:: What?
Marissa: Beg Jimbo Wales for your account back.
Pook: But nobody knows where Jimbo is! He's elusive!
Marissa: Most think that, but there's a white-brick path that leads to Jimbo.
Mook: That doesn't sound so bad!
Pook: Yeah, come on, let's go! (begins to leave)
Marissa: Whoa there! (Pook stops) The road to Jimbo is teeming with vandals, trolls, and the fallen, not to mention zombies and vampires aplenty. You need a werepuma warrior like me to defend you. I'm coming with. Plus, I've been on Wikipedia for a really long time. I know what I'm doing.
Mook: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!
All Three: We're on the road to Jim-bo Wales!

So swab the deck and raise the sails!

We're on the road to Jim-bo Wales!

So wet the seas and fix the rails!

Mook: Vandals we've been, oh how we weep

Now let's hope our souls Jimbo will not reap

I wish only instead to regain my account

For that purpose, dangers we must surmount

All Three: We're on the road to Jim-bo Wales!

So swab the deck and raise the sails!

We're on the road to Jim-bo Wales!

So wet the seas and fix the rails!

Pook: We've encountered two zombies

A WikiPuma defeated them with ease

And yet that cannot always keep them at bay

If we had accounts we could warn people to keep them away

All Three: We're on the road to Jim-bo Wales!

So swab the deck and raise the sails!

We're on the road to Jim-bo Wales!

So wet the seas and fix the rails!

Marissa: I've been a loyal user for years

In fact, these two are my worst fears

They're vandals, spitting out graffiti

In fact, I say they should have to pay a fee!

All Three: We're on the road to Jim-bo Wales!

So swab the deck and raise the sails!

We're on the raod to Jim-bo Wales!

So wet the seas and fix the rails!

Marissa: Um, guys?
Mook: What?
Marissa: We're going the wrong way.
Mook: I kind of know that, because I see mustached men throwing fireballs at turtles and stepping on them.
Pook: Yeah, let's get out of here before the vandals come and ruin our trip....
Mook: No, we should stay here! It's much better than getting socked by a puppet.
Pook: It's not safe in here anymore. Those men over there, (pointing at the men with red and green caps respectively, with blue overalls) they might see us and decide to kill us!
(a heated argument ensures for half an hour, before Mook noticed something was wrong)
Mook: Wait a minute, where did she go?
Pook: This is one of your tricks, getting us to stay here...
Mook: No! I'm serious.

(They both looked around. There was no sign of Marissa, just that the mustached men in blue overalls were gone. Beside them, fake puma ears, claws, and a tail lay on the ground.)
Mook: Wait a second, so if there are claws everywhere, like ten of them, and fake puma ears, and Marissa is gone, that means...
Pook: ...that she was an imposter! Great, now how are we...
(Pook was interrupted by a voice)
Unknown voice: Hey you! What'ya doin' here! ya've trespassed our area, now I shall kill ya! Attack!
(A sound of glass breaking shattered the silence, reverberating through the world, like the shot heard round the world. Then chaos ensured. Mook and Pook turned around and found themselves face to face with a mob of hackers. They were all moving backwards.
Only too late did Mook and Pook realize their plan. The hackers were trying to nuke them, so by moving back, they were making themselves safe.

Hacker 1: Wahahahaha!!! You thought that you were safe With a WikiPuma by your side But now you've found out the truth And now you must be fried

For you see, we've got nukes And you're going to be reduced to ash With just a single shot Unless you give us cash

You thought you were safe With a WikiPuma by your side But now you've found out the truth And now you must be fried

And we'll be known as heroes For vanquishing the so-called villains That infiltrated Wikipedia And we'll be on the beach, chillin (With the money we got)

You thought you were safe With a WikiPuma by your side But now you've found out the truth And now you must be fried

You were fools And we're cruel So we'll kill you on the spot You were naive So we roll up our sleeves To kill you on the spot

Mook and Pook: Oh no!

Scene 3

Pook: So you're going to frame us for infiltrating Wikipedia, kill us, and be regarded as heroes by Jimbo Wales?
Mook: Wait, you said that you'll take cash so as not to nuke us?
Hacker 1: Yes, why do you ask?
Mook: I just got my allowance, and I didn't really spend any from last week, so here's seventy bucks.
Hacker 1: Seventy dollars? Oh no, we want one million dollars and guaranteed spots as bureaucrats!

(The hackers set up their nukes right for the two.)

Pook: WAIT!
Hacker 2: Why? Why? Why can't you just accept your fate to die for our advantage?
Hacker 1: Number 2, shut up. What do you want, little boy?
Pook: We might be able to get you what you want.
Hacker 2: And how do you attempt to do that?
Pook: We're trying to get Jimbo Wales to unblock our Wikipedia accounts. When we get to him, we might be able to get you to be bureaucrats.
Hacker 1: And what about the million dollars?
Pook: We might find something valuable along the way that we can sell.
Hacker 1: Fine. You have three days.
Mook and Pook: We've got three days Oh yes, we've got three days
To save our bodies from the hackers
And maybe buy some crackers (Wait, what?)
Mook: We're on the road to Jimbo Wales
To get some hackers to be bureaucrats
We're on the road to Jimbo Wales
To get our accounts back from that fat cat
Both: We've got three days
Oh yes, we've got three days
To save our bodies from the hackers
And maybe buy some crackers
Pook: We need a million dollars
So maybe let's start a bake sale
We need a million dollars
So why don't we mine for shale?
Both: We've got three days
Oh yes, we've got three days
To save our bodies from the hackers
And maybe buy some crackers

Hacker 1: You have seventy-two hours and zero minutes, starting now.

Hacker 1 throws a timer at Pook, reading seventy-one hours and fifty-nine minutes.

Hacker 1: Get going.

Hackers ride away on horses that Mook and Pook didn't notice before.

Mook: We need help. We can't do this alone.
Voice: Did someone say that they need help?

A tall college-age girl with shoulder-length, wavy, fawn hair and blue eyes, as well as puma ears, claws, and tail arives riding on the back of a white-tailed deer buck.

Girl: My name's Ainsley. I'm a werepuma, Harvard student, accomplished writer, and medieval weapons enthusiast.

Pook pulls on Ainsley's ears and tail.

Ainsley: (hisses) Ow, what was that for?
Pook: We had an experience with an imposter werecat.
Ainsley: (hiss; growl) Imposter, eh? What was her name, what did she look like?
Mook: Marissa. Raven-black, curly hair. Dark brown eyes. High schooler. Short.
Ainsley: I'll make sure that justice is served.
Pook: Um, that's great, but can you help us get to Jimbo Wales?
Ainsley: Oh, that's easy. I know a shortcut.
Mook: And get a million dollars?
Ainsley: Eh, that might be a bit more difficult.

Sam Beckett: Oh, it won't be difficult. Not with all my IQs.

Mook: Where on earth did you come from Sam?!!?

Sam Beckett: Time Magazine called me the next Einstein.

Elvis Presley: If you need any music from me, I'd be happy to help.

Pook: Elvis, we don't need you, get out!!!

(Sung by the tune of "Star Spangled Banner" by Francis Scott Key)

Pook: We don't need you. Whoop-dee-doo.

Mook: Isn't that, a little harsh?

Elvis Presley: No it's not. I don't mind.

Sam Beckett: I think you should leave because you aren't as smart as me!

Mook: I don't think he should leave.

Elvis Presley: I will if you want me to!

Pook No, don't, that was harsh.

Elvis Presley: Thank you so much!

(Song ends)

Elvis Presley: I think that it was too much singing I'm passing out

Sam Beckett: According to me, there is no such way to sing and pass out.

Elvis Presley: You know nothing Sam Beckett.

Sam Beckett: Oh Really? (Shows list of IQs to Elvis Presley)

Elvis Presley: You embarrass me to death, you know?

Narrator: Elvis does not really think that, kids.

Mook: What's that noise?

Narrator: Why, I'm the narrator.

Pook: I thought that we said there wasn't going to be a narrator!

Narrator: Umm... That's why I came?

Mook: Get out of here, Narrator!

Elvis Presley: I agree!

Sam Beckett: This is basically the only thing you agree on Elvis.

Narrator: Well that's not-

Mook: GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK NARRATOR!!!!!!

Pook: What Mook said!

Narrator: Every good story needs a narrator. Like-

Pook: Raise your hand if you hate that movie

(Everyone raises their hand)

"Mook': Hey, guys! I just got an alert on this neighborhood!

Elvis Presley: And that is?

Mook: Someone is intruding. Lets get out of here and lets get a team to fight back.

Ainsley: I'll make a list of who to bring and what they will do.

Three hours later

Sam Beckett: Got the list done, Ainsley?

Ainsley: C'mon. I'll show it to you.

List of people to take with us:Mario, Sherlock Holmes, Ebenezer Scrooge, The first wikiknight we can find, and Patrick Mahomes.

Elvis Presley Alright, I guess we're going to the Mushroom Kingdom

Act 2

Scene 1

Enter Chris Pratt in his star room, working on the third guardians of the galaxy movie. The sound of the gang beating up security guards and ushers is heard, then the door opens, revealing Mook, Pook, Ainsley, Sam Beckett and Elvis Presley.

Elvis Presley Hey, you!

Chris Pratt Me?

Ainsley Do you know where Mario is?

Chris Pratt There's a warp pipe in the sewer.

Mook Oh, thanks!

The gang enters the sewer and discovers a warp pipe. They go down it, and see in the distance, a man with red clothes and cap and a man with green clothes and a cap. This is the scene at the end of the the new mario movie

Elvis Presley Hey, red cap! We need you!

Mario Why?

(Sung to the tune of a bunch of drunk people after 21 gallons of beer)