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The Floor War

Period War Time Propoganda
DateOctober 2013
Location
Sid Richardson College
Result Indecisive
Territorial
changes
Couch to 4th
Belligerents

Southron Alliance:
Holy Roman Empire 4th Floor


Upper Tower:

Paris 6th Floor
Strength

Mammoth Projector Screen
Past ELECTED Mr. Sid

Vulture

Current Mr. Sid
Whiteboard

Weekly Minutes
Casualties and losses
Chilled Water Line 2,000 Imperial troops

The Floor War, also known as the War of Upper Aggression or the Reclamation War (see naming), was a civil war fought in October 2013 in Sid Richardson College after 4th floor Sidizens took a couch from 6th floor. The war was well known for its Facebook espionage, petty civil disobedience, and resulting Sidferno.

Prelude to Conflict[edit]

In August 2013 Seniors Ian Arnold and Ji Hoon Kim set up a 18X10 ft monster projection screen on fourth floor lobby increasing the demand for comfortable movie watching. In September, one of 5th floor's couches appeared on 4th, but was returned for 80's care giving. Tensions began to rise between 6th floor and 4th floor once 4th noticed that 6th had three couches, while 4th had only a single, blue, hard couch.

Declaration of War

Commencement of Hostilities[edit]

6th Rep Nick Conard taking candy from a baby

On October 4th (choosen for it's symbolism)[citation needed], one of 6th's couch appeared on 4th. A note appeared on the couch threatening executive action against 6th if they attempted to keep 3 couches instead of fairly redistributing them to the college. 4th's view couch was common property that should not be concentrated in the hands of the upper floor.

The next weekend October 11, (the same one that gave birth the Schwasted Schmidt and Shitshow Alex) 6th floor continued their decadent ways, upper floor ways and plotted to take back what they believed was rightfully theirs. However, Freshman Lt. Noah Zempsky, was a member of the 6th facebook group and informed on their schemes. He was later awarded a Legion of the Vulture medal.

Fourth Floor Reps signing the Emancipation Proclamation

Julia Chavez appeared that night to reclaim the couch, but the sneaky 4th Seniors had barricaded the elevator with a ping pong table and hidden the couch in a room for the night. Since NSR's don't ever get anything done, she went back up to 6th.

Around the College[edit]

7th sided with their Upper Brethren until Freshmen started trying to get to a stash of alcohol while the people living in the room weren't even there. Like for real, you ain't paid for that. 3rd floor took freshman refugees from 4th, but remained neutral. 5th would have sided with fourth based on past living arrangements, if they existed. 2nd Floor took an antiwar position and began taking the elevator to second in protest. Renegade Sidizens began protesting

Resolution[edit]

Sid's trademark apathy took over, 6th gave up, so 4th kept the couch. The sophomores on 6th have, like, classes and stuff.

Famous Quotes[edit]

They hate us for our culture.

-Santiago Quintana, 4th


We don't negotiate with those socialists.

-Senator Alex Nunez


Two Latvian look at clouds.

One see sweet potato. Other see impossible dream.

Is same cloud.

-Refugee RHA

See Also[edit]

Sidferno Sweet Potato