User talk:Bears1444/Business Instructional Facility Draft

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Good research on this article. Here are a few comments.

  • The first time you mention people who you are citing (e.g., the Pellis), explain who they are. Also, I would probably use past tense to introduce attributed statements and quotations; "Rafael Pelli explained (and maybe say where and when, like, in an interview when the building was finished) rather than "Rafael Pelli explains". Take a long-term view of time. This article may be read 10 years from now... it's not a news item about a contemporary event. In general, try to be precise about time.
  • Your description of the building itself is good. It would be nice if you could provide a bit more detail on how their design met LEED standards.
  • In the references, make sure you are using an article title for web pages. Item #7 (Pelli Architects) should be called, probably, "Projects: Sustainable Design: Business Instructional Facility, University of Illinois: Description". I know it's long, but that is the page title.
Also, if you are giving a website as the title of the publication, it's better to use the name of the website than just the domain name. For example, Pelli, Clark, Pelli Architects, rather than www.pcparch.com. And you might as well provide a link to the home page of the website, as I just did.
  • Your reference #2 is not showing up in the References section. When you are using "named" footnote references, the first occurrence has to have the bibliographic citation.


Joegrohens (talk) 19:44, 7 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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