User talk:Epichippo/Shadoof (1)

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WikiProject Ancient Egypt to-do list:

Needed articles.

We should have an article on every pyramid and every nome in Ancient Egypt. I'm sure the rest of us can think of other articles we should have.

Cleanup.

To start with, most of the general history articles badly need attention. And I'm told that at least some of the dynasty articles need work. Any other candidates?

Standardize the Chronology.

A boring task, but the benefit of doing it is that you can set the dates !(e.g., why say Khufu lived 2589-2566? As long as you keep the length of his reign correct, or cite a respected source, you can date it 2590-2567 or 2585-2563)

Stub sorting

Anyone? I consider this probably the most unimportant of tasks on Wikipedia, but if you believe it needs to be done . . .

Data sorting.

This is a project I'd like to take on some day, & could be applied to more of Wikipedia than just Ancient Egypt. Take one of the standard authorities of history or culture -- Herotodus, the Elder Pliny, the writings of Breasted or Kenneth Kitchen, & see if you can't smoothly merge quotations or information into relevant articles. Probably a good exercise for someone who owns one of those impressive texts, yet can't get access to a research library.

Lead[edit]

The additions to the lead added A LOT. They seriously helped make the introduction a lot more engaging and added a lot more information. I like how you added that it still has an everlasting affect in the introduction. I think that everything that was added helped the article make more sense. The only minor nitpick I have is this sentence: "Created as early as 3000 BCE, it was the first crane that inhabitants used in the Nile Valley by ancient Mesopotamians." Just a simple change is needed, but it was noticeable.

Content

The content that was added really helped make the article feel much more complete. I definitely know much more about the shadoof than if I had just read the og article. There's nothing I can really pinpoint, but the information that was added just made it feel more like an actual Wikipedia article that doesn't need revision. The history that was added added some great extras, like the shadoof's use throughout the world. Though, I am curious about the shadoof showing up in the pre-Columbia Americas. This must mean that it developed independently there so could've developed independently elsewhere too right? The design section gave more information on how it was used and got rid of how convoluted the original article made it all seem. The social effects section gave some good information on the technological advancements that came out of this. The content is all up to date.

Tone and Balance

The tone and balance is pretty good. If anything, I think that the article has a "pro-Shadoof" viewpoint, but I don't think that that's a bad thing in the slightest.

Sources and References

The sources are all up to date and there are a lot of them too. Each paragraph ends with a reference, so I can't think of anywhere where more references would be needed.

Organization

The organization is good and it's well written. I couldn't find any spelling or grammatical errors.

Images and Media

I think that a couple more images could help the article. Or, swapping the side that the images are on might help the article look nicer.

Overall Impressions

This is very, very good. It definitely makes me want to go into my article again and swap a few things around. I don't have any real complaints except maybe adding more images. I think that everything that was added was tasteful and added to the general knowledge of shadoofs. AnonymousUsername934 (talk) 06:37, 5 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]