User talk:Jacob8598/sandbox

Rebecca's peer review

Overall, it was a really interesting read! I suggest maybe flushing out some of the sections a bit more. I think it would be amazing if y’all could expand the evolution section, because I feel that it is very important for this page (however I am aware that there might not be tons of research for this). Adding information on why one vertebrate might use this type of mimicry over another type and adding costs/benefits for different mimicry models might make this page more interesting as well, but (again) I know it’s probably very difficult to find this information. Right now the article just seems to be a lot of listing, which isn’t bad, but readers might want to know why mimicry in vertebrates is so important and how mimicry in vertebrates is different from mimicry in other organisms (which you guys did mention throughout). If there is enough information on how mimicry in vertebrates is different from mimicry in other organisms, maybe consider making it its own section. Also, since this is a public page that anyone could read, it may be quite difficult for readers that aren’t already well-read in this topic, so by adding one or two lines for a quick clarification/explanation, might make it a lot nicer! Additionally, there were some minor typos, but that’s just a quick fix. I've left some of my more detailed notes below (sorry for the lengthiness!).

Lead

• In the beginning, maybe use a word other than model or explain that more thoroughly because I’m not really sure what model could mean in this context. I also feel that the first line could be flushed out a bit more. It was very circular, since y’all used the same word you’re defining to define it. Maybe if y’all briefly defined mimicry in the introduction, then that would be clearer to the reader (rather than just linking another mimicry Wikipedia page).
• If possible, it would sound a lot better if the whole introduction was more cohesive. It sounds a bit abrupt by going from definition straight into talking about mimicry vs. camouflage. Maybe add some transition sentences.
• Also, y'all didn't include anything about the importance of mimicry or about the evolution of it, so that's something else to consider to add.

Classification

• As for the Batesian Mimicry section, maybe consider moving the reason why honey badgers are an effective model towards the beginning of the paragraph rather than the end. Otherwise, really nice section!
• Maybe add a hyperlink to convergent evolution in the Mullerian subsection (to help those who don’t know what that is)
• I like how you guys related aggressive mimicry back to “a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” This is a really easy-to-understand analogy!
• Also really enjoyed the little excerpt of aggressive mimicry before the subsections. Would it be possible to do something similar for the Batesian mimicry section?
• As for the aggressive section under in predators, would it be possible to further explain why/how the false cleanerfish are able to gain access to victims during foraging? (I can infer how, but this may be beneficial to those that don’t really understand)

Host-Parasite subsection

• Is it possible to explain why these hatchlings mimic acoustic sounds (for what purpose, other than improving their mimicry)
• It’s a bit difficult to understand the genetic isolation part, so maybe expanding this by one line or two to help clarify how this works would be nice
• Do you guys know how in interspecific social dominance mimicry they are able to mimic the socially dominant opponent (behavioral? Appearance? Compensating for height?)

Anatomical subsection

• There is some unnecessary repetition. I don’t think you guys need to mention “Eyespots are a form of automimicry” in the second paragraph again (you mentioned it previously). Going directly into explaining eyespots should be fine.

Evolution

• Under the Evolution section, would it be possible to have a small explanation of why mimicry is hypothesized to follow patterns of directional selection?
• For this section, it would be great if y’all could expand upon it. It seems to be a very important section, but it’s relatively short compared to y’all’s classification section.

. Rebecca.f.lee (talk) 17:22, 3 November 2018 (UTC)