User talk:Mtyler29/sandbox
I am peer reviewing this article --Kchaiken (talk) 04:28, 22 May 2018 (UTC)
Kol Chaiken - Peer Reveiw[edit]
I like the sections that you broke the article into. They definitely make sense for an article about Taylor. However I think that you could make the "Life" section into your Lead and then add some more personal details to "Life," like where she was born, details about her family and such. Another good addition could be a section like this:
Malcolm X | |
|---|---|
 Malcolm X in March 1964 | |
| Born | Malcolm Little May 19, 1925 |
| Died | February 21, 1965 (aged 39) |
| Cause of death | Assassination (multiple gunshots) |
| Resting place | Ferncliff Cemetery |
| Other names |
|
| Occupation(s) | Minister, activist |
| Organizations | |
| Movement | |
| Spouse | |
| Children |
|
| Parents |
|
| Signature | |
 | |
I also think the Activism section that is currently all bullet points could be restructured into paragraph format in chronological order. You could also break it down into years ie.
2016[edit]
2017[edit]
2018[edit]
Was she really not involved in activism before 2016 though? That could be something to look into
The article seems very Neutral, the references are good since there are a lot of them.
To be honest your article is a lot more put together than mine. My group is doing the racist history of UCSD and we had a lot of difficulty finding reliable sources, as well as difficulty writing in a neutral way. Kchaiken (talk) 04:59, 22 May 2018 (UTC)
Response- We added sections for the dates in activism. We can't find more information about her life or her activism before 2016. They only information before this is the articles and books she wrote. We can't even find a birth date or age for her. Mtyler29 (talk) 19:56, 29 May 2018 (UTC)
Miranda's peer review[edit]
Hi, there! So overall the article looks great so far. The article has an extensive list of sources, good section headers that are easy to follow and well organized, and consistent citations throughout. A few small tweaks that may improve the article are:
- Changing the current Life section to the Lead section then adding details about Taylor's early personal life to the Life section; stuff like where she was born, what high school she attended, influential people in her life, sports/clubs she was involved in, her first experiences with activism, etc.
- Proof reading the entire article; there were a few instances that words were repeated (and and, but but)
- Grammatical editing; there seems to be a lot of switching between present and past tense within the same sentence or paragraph
Good luck! Mrj004 (talk) 19:19, 24 May 2018 (UTC)
Response- We switched the life section to the education/ academic section and added a lead section. We can not find any information about her life besides the information about her education. We went through and corrected the grammar and kept everything in the same tense. Mtyler29 (talk) 19:56, 29 May 2018 (UTC)
Annie Park's peer review[edit]
Overall, I think this article is well-organized and thorough about her work. Echoing Kol's comment, the information looks neutral and reliably sourced. I would imagine you all stuck to writing about Taylor's work because of the lack of info about her personal life, but I think a section on her early life and education would be helpful and aligned with other Wikipedia articles (but I understand that this information may not be readily available). Here are some more doable suggestions:
- Again reiterating Kol's suggestion, dividing the activism section chronologically might make more sense and be more aesthetically pleasing, keeping in line with the article's already nice organization.
- For the articles section, it might (again) be helpful to section the info by date published rather than by the newspapers they were published in as there seems to be a lot of overlap in terms of subject matter.
- Like Miranda said, be sure to proofread!
- I think the section on Taylor's books is wonderful and super informative, though you might want to add more info about publication - it would be helpful to reference the articles for other writers to model this.
Great job! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Alp041 (talk • contribs) 07:12, 29 May 2018 (UTC)
Response- We made the activism chronological and the article section kept it divided by newspaper but also by published date. We proofread and fixed the minor mistakes. We added more publication info for the the book section. Mtyler29 (talk) 19:56, 29 May 2018 (UTC)