User talk:Peterstrempel/Soviet-Brezhnev-draft
 | This page is written in British English, which has its own spelling conventions (colour, travelled, centre, defence, artefact, analyse) and some terms that are used in it may be different or absent from other varieties of English. According to the relevant style guide, this should not be changed without broad consensus. |
Word count[edit]
Original word count 7615.
Objection to GA status[edit]
Following is copy placed in the talk page of the Brezhnev era Soviet history article on 16 March 2011.
This article needs considerable work[edit]
It seems to me that this article is far from ready for being rated as anything but incomplete. Here are some specific examples of what I mean —
Specific examples[edit]
The first paragraph states that the period under consideration related to Brezhnev's rule of the Soviet Union. Yet the succeeding emphasis is on collective leadership. An apparent contradiction. Explain more clearly.
The assertion about Khrushchev's apparently increasingly 'erratic' behaviour should be directly referenced, if not quoted from the source. There is considerable scholarly debate about him having been removed because of his liberalisation of state control on individuals. I don't see the justification for the adjective below the outline of the article.
Paragraph three refers of 'a' reform (in the singular). If it was not a reform programme, or part of a five year plan, what was the name of that reform?
The word 'ouster' has the meaning of removal from a position only in American English (see OED 11th ed). In GB English it implies unlawful activity, or removal of some activity from the purview of the law.
The assertion that during the period in question the Soviet Union developed from a regional power into a superpower is tendentious. There is scholarly argument that this occurred while Stalin was still dictator. Who made the assertion? Quote directly or cite specifically.
The Assertion that there was a prolonged power struggle leading to the overthrow of Khrushchev needs to be referenced directly. What was the manifestation of that power struggle? If the original source for this assertion does not provide evidence for it, another source should be found to confirm it.
The sentence that includes "... tired of Khrushchev's violation of Party principles. They also believed that his individualistic leadership style weakened the collective leadership" introduces two new adjectives, on top of erratic, which need to be justified with citations. In particular, how can Khrushchev have been found to undermine collective leadership when it had never existed before? Stalin was a dictator, and Khrushchev is accused of the same.
The following may be properly referenced, but does not make sense in its present wording: "After Kosygin initiated the economic reform of 1965, however, his prestige within the Soviet leadership withered. Kosygin's subsequent loss of power strengthened Brezhnev's position within the Soviet hierarchy.[4] Kosygin was further weakened when Podgorny took his post as the second-most powerful figure in the Soviet Union.[5]" How was the loss of power manifested? How did that make Brezhnev stronger (was this a pissing contest between the two)? What is the scond most powerful position in the USSR and why?
The paragraph immediately following makes a number of assertions about seniority. These need to be explained rather than merely paraphrased; otherwise they make no sense. Has that paragraph's single reference been checked?
Where does this assertion come from: "... since Brezhnev would have taken over the post of head of state"? Either he did or did not. Or was there an automatic succession plan in place? Cite specific references.
" ... Brezhnev's liberal stance on Yugoslavia and his disarmament policies with First World countries." What liberal stance? Disarmamanet policies cannot be 'with'. Is this not a case of 'agreeing to disarmament treaties with the US'? Or 'with Western powers'? I'm pretty sure the Societ Union never agreed to anything with the entire first world, and that some scholars have argued the USSR was, in fact, part of the first world.
"Brezhnev consolidated his position considerably" means what exactly? What titled or untitled position was consolidated and with what manifestation?
"Tikhonov, as with Brezhnev, was a conservative" appears to contradict the reference to Brezhnev as liberally inclined towards Yugoslavia. The problem here might lie on the wording. Was it, perhaps, the case that Brezhnev and some others were members of an identified conservative faction within the party? This needs clarification.
"Towards the end of the period, Brezhnev was regarded as too old to carry out some of the functions of head of state by his colleagues." What colleagues? If no list, then a direct quote or citation? What follows suggests that Brezhnev, by ordering a new positionm, agreed he was no longer fit to carry out those duties. Is that true? Citation?
" ... Suslov continued to write several ideological documents about it. In 1978, one year after Podgorny's retirement, Suslov made several notable references to the collective leadership. It was around this time that Andrei Kirilenko's power and prestige within the Soviet leadership started to wane.[11]" This passage makes several ambiguous assertions that may need to be individually referenced or quoted. What were some of the ideological documents or notable references? What is the importance of Kirilenko and his fading power?
"As Brezhnev's health worsened, the collective leadership took an even more important role in everyday decision-making. Brezhnev's death did not alter the balance of power in any radical fashion, and Yuri Andropov and Konstantin Chernenko were obliged by protocol to rule the country in the same fashion as Brezhnev left it.[12]" How can this be true? If his successors were forced to rule the same way as Brezhnev, how can collective leadership have assumed an even more important role? It is a logical fallacy. Wording needs to be clarified or cut.
What is the evidence for the assertion of a massive military build-up being launched in 1965? If someone made a bare assertion, he/she should be cited specifically.
"... useful leverage in negotiating with the First World" appears misleading. Was it not also leverage with China? Or was there a deliberate consideration of only Western powers? Clarification of language and/or specific reference needed.
"... Due to the country's weaker infrastructure compared to the United States, the Soviet leadership believed that the only way to beat the First World was by a rapid military conquest of Western Europe, relying on sheer numbers alone." What does this mean? During the era of mutually assured destruction this would have been a complete nonsense, as nuclear arsenals would have made infrastructure irrelevant. Is this not really a consideration that no nuclear war could be fought, and the USSR was preparing for superiority in a conventional confrontation? If there is a specific quote, it should be cited.
" ... achieved nuclear parity with the United States by the early 1970s, after which the country moved from being a regional power to a superpower." This is the same assertion made in the summary at the beginning of the article. Specific reference needed.
"The apparent success" is meangless without being qualified. Success in what aim or object?
The problem[edit]
My comment on the article is now long enough for me to step back and ask others not uncritically devoted to its present format to consider whether any of the shortcomings I have mentioned don't deserve to be rectified before the presumptive elevation of this article to any kind of status.
My purpose here is to establish that this article, like some others in the Soviet history category, needs considerably more work before it can be considered encyclopedic, and that work cannot be subject to the whims of any self-appointed 'owner'; if the article is to be regarded as the proprietary plaything of anyone, I recommend that it is removed in toto as tendentious, ideologically motivated and far from neutral about information in general, and the subject matter specifically.
This is a particular concern for any history of a totalitarian society in which 'revisionism', the practice of re-writing history to exclude events or people, and to add others, for the purpose of meeting specific ideological perspectives, is/was a known issue.