User talk:Rskovach/sandboxMain

Feedback about Budapest Museum Quarter article

This was initially a project for a graduate Art & Ethics class. Please post any comments regarding the draft Budapest Museum Quarter article here. Thanks! Rskovach (talk) 15:36, 6 March 2012 (UTC)

Sandbox article - review

Hi. I have taken a look at your sandbox article. Overall, it appears well-written and encyclopedic, but there were some issues that I'd like to point out:

• Section 1.2 - First paragraph: The subsection goes into a description of the Fidesz party without explaining why that matters; it is better to start using something like "upon the election of (the two-thirds majority) Fidesz party in 2010 ... the government began a 'hands-on policy'". The main focus is the proposed museum project, not the history of Hungary's government.
• The line, "It was also suggested" is ambiguous because it does not mention who suggested these allegations...the watchdog? The museum? Or the public?
• Be sure to watch for the presence of any weasel words, e.g. some people say that these policies are the worst in history.
• Section 2.3 - Second paragraph: "Baán is no stranger to criticism nor controversy" - the tone of this particular paragraph leans more toward a newspaper editorial-style writing, rather than typical encyclpedic tone.
• Section 3.2 - It is a good idea to link junk status (currently a redirect to "high-yield debt", a form of credit rating) so that readers unfamiliar with economics are not confused about the nature of this statement.
• It may be a good idea to include an opening sentence or paragraph introducing the fact that similar places exist worldwide.
• A minor typographical note: instead of keyboard hyphens, the use of the en dash (& ndash ; –)
  and em dash (& mdash ; —) are available through wiki-syntax.
• The remaining issues are minor grammatical errors, i.e. state owned → state-owned, it's → its (Section 3.4 last paragraph, a common error), and Section 2.1: "a Fidesz campaign platform during to the 2010 elections" – fix this.
• Comment: where I live, it is more common to say "tourist site" than "touristic site", though there is likely great variation in different English-speaking parts of the world – is "touristic" more common where you're from?

Overall, the article is well-cited and well-formated using a variety of sources, and is almost ready for mainspace (immediate publishing). Your first article may also have relevant guidelines. Hope this helps! ~AH1 ^(discuss!) 03:11, 7 March 2012 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rskovach (talk • contribs)