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Your submission at Articles for creation: sandbox (January 13)[edit]

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reasons left by Eagleash were: Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.
Eagleash (talk) 12:04, 13 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
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Hello
I have worked on a revised entry for the Hartmann Group and have come up with the following - what do you think? Is this more acceptable?
Suggested content
HARTMANN GROUP
Summary
The HARTMANN GROUP is one of the leading European providers of professional medical and care products and associated services.1 It includes Paul Hartmann AG, the oldest German wound care company, established in 1818.2 HARTMANN operates through three core segments: Wound Care; Incontinence Management; and Infection Management (encompassing business areas Risk Prevention and Disinfection). The core portfolio is augmented by consumer-based medical ranges, along with care products and cosmetics, including the CMC Group, KNEIPP and KOB. HARTMANN sells its products and services to hospitals, medical practices, nursing homes and homecare services through various distribution channels including group-owned distribution facilities and third-party distributors. It also offers OTC products for end consumers through pharmacies, medical supply stores and online.3 HARTMANN has companies in 36 countries, its headquarters are in Heidenheim, Germany. Britta Fünfstück was appointed CEO as of January 2019 and launched a transformation program for the company.4,5,6   In 2022, HARTMANN reported group sales of EUR 2,311.6 million and a workforce of more than 10,200 employees worldwide.2,5
History
HARTMANN began in 1818 when Ludwig von Hartmann took over a mechanical spinning mill in Heidenheim. It soon became one of the largest cotton mills in Germany producing caps, stockings, and handkerchiefs. Later his son Paul Hartmann Sr began producing cotton bandages using a degreasing method developed by Victor von Bruns. In 1875, HARTMANN began manufacturing absorbent cotton, gauze and jute impregnated with carbolic acid a method developed by Sir Joseph Lister.7 These products were an enormous benefit to the public – patient mortality dropped rapidly. In 1912, under general director Walther Hartmann, the company became a stock corporation.  HARTMANN focused on wound care until 1974 when it expanded into incontinence and infection management.
Image caption: HARTMANN plaster production in Heidenheim in around 1925
In 2000 it acquired KOB GmbH (Karl Otto Braun) the world's largest manufacturer of elastic special fabrics for medicine, including carrier materials for transdermal systems and sports medicine fabric.8 HARTMANN founded CMC Consumer Medical Care GmbH in 2005 selling retail brands in cotton/cosmetics, medical, baby and homecare. KNEIPP GmbH became a wholly owned subsidiary in April 2008. In October 2008 HARTMANN strengthened its position in infection management by acquiring BODE Chemie GmbH, one of Europe’s leading manufacturers in the fields of hand and surface disinfection, skin care and skin antisepsis and manufacturer of the Sterilium® range.9
Recent Transformation
After celebrating 200 years in business, HARTMANN redefined its strategy to improve competitiveness and shore up its position as a market leader in its three core business areas and initiated a transformation program to realize these goals. The program focuses on innovation, digital services, targeted investment, and cost control.6,10,11,12 As part of this strategy HARTMANN acquired Advanced Silicone Coating, one of the most innovative European suppliers of silicone technologies in 2019 13,14,15 and pflege.de, the leading German online platform for topics relating to home care and living in advanced age in 2022.11,16, 17 As part of the transformation program, HARTMANN is also conducting extensive investments to ensure its future competitiveness. In 2022, HARTMANN invested more than EUR 180 million in Germany and throughout Europe, primarily to modernize its production facilities and infrastructure. This includes new state-of-the-art production lines for each core segment, 18,19,20,,21 a new wound care production plant in Poland 22, highly optimized logistical systems as well as upgrades at KNEIPP and KOB23. HARTMANN has pledged to match this investment with a further EUR 165 million in 2023.
Operating facilities
Worldwide, HARTMANN has companies in 36 countries and produces and sells its diverse portfolio to over 130 countries. The sales regions are: the German domestic market, EMEA (Europe minus Germany, the Middle East, Africa), the Americas and APAC (Asia and the Pacific region). The most significant production bases are in Germany, France, Spain, the Czech Republic, Switzerland and Poland, and outside Europe in India, and Turkey. 3
Products and services:
Wound Care
HARTMANN offers a wide range of traditional and modern wound dressings. These include a new line of silicone-coated, skin-friendly wound dressings, the Zetuvit® Plus family of superabsorbent dressings, the Cosmopor® post-operative wound dressings, and the well-established HydroTherapy treatment concept. In the area of traditional wound care, HARTMANN is a market leader in Europe. In addition, HARTMANN is the No. 1 company in the European* pharmacy wound care market. 3
Incontinence management
HARTMANN specializes in the holistic management of incontinence.  It supplies products for the professional and domestic setting including product lines like MoliCare® Elastic, MoliCare® Mobile and MoliCare® Lady and Men pads. The holistic incontinence management portfolio is complemented with Skin and Hygiene Care products designed to protect patients and carers alike.
Image caption: New MoliCare® production line at at HARTMANN plant in Herbrechtingen, Germany.24
Infection management
Within its risk prevention division, HARTMANN offers a wide product portfolio for surgical use, alongside customer-specific sterile components sets and examination gloves. Its surgical portfolio includes single-use instruments and clothing and covering materials. In its disinfection division, HARTMANN develops and manufactures, among others, products for hand and surface disinfection to protect against infectious diseases. These include the first marketable alcohol-based rub-in hand disinfectant Sterillium®, fast-acting, widely effective, and gentle to the skin, which has repeatedly been named the brand of the century by Tempus Corporate, a ZEIT Publishing company. 25,26,27
Image caption: The Sterillium® product line
Consumer-based products
Includes group companies KNEIPP, CMC and KOB. KNEIPP sells body care products, dietary supplements, and herbal medicines. The CMC Group provides retail brands in cotton/cosmetics, medical, baby and home care. KOB specialises in medical textiles and bandages.
Recent innovations & initiatives
·       Bacillol® 30 Sensitive - the first professional surface disinfectant recommended by the European Centre for Allergy Research Foundation as suitable for use by asthmatics and people with allergies.28
·      Cosmopor® silicone, a sterile post-operative wound dressing using silicone technology.
·              MediSet® for peripheral venous catheters (PVC) made up of pre-assembled, sterile, and tailored components that save time and reduce errors (by more than 30%) per patient intervention.
·              “Mission: Infection Prevention” (M: IP®), an initiative, which helps hospitals improve hygiene processes and prevention measures while reducing costs arising from healthcare associated infections. 29,30,31,32
·       MoliCare® product line developed with a new type of incontinence technology that allows it to absorb liquid faster, keeping the skin drier and preventing irritation.24
Sustainability activities
In 2020 the HARTMANN management board created a Sustainability Task Force to further develop existing activities including: continuous reduction of material used in production, comprehensive occupational safety and environmental management, and promotion of social projects.
It has calculated the CO2 footprint for the entire HARTMANN Group and will set emissions reduction targets for the years to come to achieve CO2 neutrality.
Kneipp leads the way on sustainability with multiple award-winning initiatives, including Platinum status in EcoVadis, the world’s largest sustainability rating.33 In 2020 Kneipp’s color-free lip balm won the ‘pioneer’ category of the German Sustainability Design Awards.34 Kneipp’s objec­tive is to replace all plastics, including recycled plas­tics, with more sustainable alternatives by 2025. In 2021 Kneipp successfully reduced plastics in its packaging by approximately 26% compared to 2018.
In 2022 HARTMANN France achieved silver status in EcoVadis.
References
1.     https://www.bloomberg.com/profile/company/0835641D:US#xj4y7vzkg
2.     https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/quote/PHH2.F/profile?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAANtm7fRgdXs8oCmgIJbA9-eov1_U2C8keEbLKm9ubwC5gR02tIzeguyzOkCyl4LJMlVmv3IGzZYifLV-PGF2Jp9an5Ho5qK0rWzL04Fm0pmMY1vOoJNuAKbu-_f8c3dAYS0YoiWQx7LnDdtTPf_-67BpfPT8_Jh7GA33SjZ_8_aq
3.     https://www.globaldata.com/company-profile/paul-hartmann-ag/
4.     https://www.presseportal.de/en/pm/34248/4083483
5.     https://www.handelsblatt.com/unternehmen/management/britta-fuenfstueck-oesterreicherin-wird-neue-chefin-bei-medizinprodukte-hersteller-hartmann/23171628.html
6.     https://www.pharma-relations.de/news/hartmann-startet-die-strategieumsetzung-mit-umfassendem-transformationsprogramm
7.     https://www.buergerleben.com/werbung-des-monats-hartmann-damenbinden/
8.     Start: KARL OTTO BRAUN GmbH & Co. KG. Retrieved March 27, 2019
9.     https://www.happi.com/contents/view_breaking-news/2008-12-08/beiersdorf-sells-bode-chemie-to-paul-hartmann/
10.  https://www.regio-tv.de/mediathek/video/200-jahre-hartmann-gruppe/
11.  www.handelsblatt.com/inside/digital_health/pflegeportal-fuer-66-millionen-euro-pflege-de-vor-uebernahme-durch-hartmann-gruppe/26782200.html
12.  https://www.hz.de/wirtschaft/wirtschaft-regional/wechsel-im-finanzvorstand-hartmann-gruppe-kuendigt-neue-strategie-an-41288247.html
13.  https://www.suedwesttextil.de/news/hartmann-safran-coating
14.  https://www.hz.de/wirtschaft/wirtschaft-regional/silikontechnik-hartmann-uebernimmt-safran-coating-32252190.html
15.  https://www.marketscreener.com/quote/stock/PAUL-HARTMANN-AG-454872/news/Paul-Hartmann-AG-DB-PHH2-acquired-Safran-Coating-from-Safran-SA-34207851/
16.  https://carlsquare.com/deal-history/carlsquare-advised-pflege-de-web-care-lbj-gmbh-on-the-sale-to-paul-hartmann-ag/
17.  https://www.businessinsider.de/gruenderszene/health/pflegeportal-pflege-de-hartmann-exit-maschmeyer/
18.  https://www.hz.de/meinort/herbrechtingen/hartmann-investiert-40_millionen-euro-das-herz-der-inkontinenz-sitzt-in-herbrechtingen-66684335.html
19.  https://www.maz-online.de/lokales/potsdam-mittelmark/brueck/hartmann-ag-investiert-millionen-in-bruck-BIW4OEJCBQKSBSXGKN5PLVZ7DU.html
20.  https://www.lejournaldesentreprises.com/alsace/breve/le-groupe-allemand-hartmann-investit-25-millions-deuros-sur-son-site-de-liepvre-2041597
21.  https://www.pharma-relations.de/news/podcast-zur-infektionspraevention-hartmann-startet-serie
22.  https://www.hz.de/meinort/heidenheim/abbau-von-120-arbeitsplaetzen-in-heidenheim-warum-es-sich-fuer-hartmann-lohnt_-in-polen-zu-investieren-57243819.html
23.  https://www.br.de/nachrichten/bayern/kneipp-investiert-25-millionen-euro-am-hauptsitz-in-ochsenfurt,SXBNpHe
24.  https://www.hz.de/meinort/herbrechtingen/inkontinenzwerk-in-herbrechtingen-wie-hartmann-mit-neuer-saugkoerper-technologie-erwachsenenwindeln-revolutionieren-will-66560671.html
25.  https://www.stern.de/gesundheit/sterillum-erfinder-spricht-ueber-seine-pionierzeit--9247112.htm
26.  https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00735-015-0545-z
27.  https://www.management-krankenhaus.de/news/sterillium-zur-marke-des-jahrhunderts-gekuert
28.  https://www.hrhealthcare.co.uk/portfolio/bacillol-30-sensitive-tissues/
29.  https://www.pharma-relations.de/news/bindoc-und-hartmann-digitalisieren-kampf-gegen-nosokomiale-infektionen
30.  https://www.healthcaremarketing.eu/_rubric/detail.php?rubric=Medien&nr=80023
31.  https://www.management-krankenhaus.de/news/hartmann-und-gwa-hygiene-gehen-strategische-partnerschaft-bei-digitalen-gesundheitsloesungen
32.  https://leitbetriebe.at/hartmann-auf-mission-weil-infektionspraevention-leben-rettet/
33.  https://www.prnewswire.co.uk/news-releases/awarded-for-consistent-sustainability-management-kneipp-is-among-the-top-one-percent-in-the-ecovadis-ranking-301668194.html
34.  https://www.nachhaltigkeitspreis.de/en/design-en/top-field-design/2020/#contentWrap
External Links
·      www.hartmann.info
·      www.kneipp.com
·      www.kob.de
·      www.sterillium.info/en
·      www.missioninfectionprevention.info

WriteInBath (talk) 10:28, 3 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I have placed your content in a collapsible section to decrease its length on screen. There are multiple issues with your content.
  1. It is overly promotional in tone. For example, phrases like "one of the leading European" and "After celebrating 200 years in business" are overly praiseworthy and self-congratulatory. The overall tone of this content sounds like what the company wishes to say about itself. We have no interest in that.
  2. While it looks like you've made a good attempt, your method of citing sources isn't quite right. Please refer to Help:Footnotes for the correct syntax.
  3. You have embedded external links in the body of your text. This is not an acceptable use of external links.
  4. The external links are to German Wikipedia. Readers of English Wikipedia shouldn't expect to click on links that send them to another Wikipedia whose language they might not understand.
  5. Some of your sources are clearly press releases. Company-authored sources are not valid; we only care about what independent third parties have chosen to write about the company, without inducement.
  6. Most of your sources are German language sources. While this isn't a problem per se, it does make it more difficult for an English speaker to understand them, and therefore evaluate whether this company meets Wikipedia's notability criteria for companies. If you can find other English language sources, I would highly advise that you use them.
  7. Perhaps most importantly - what is your relationship with this company? Are you employed by them, or contracted to write about them? If either case is true, then this triggers the mandatory paid editing disclosure policy. Any paid relationship with the subject requires disclosure. Concealing paid relationships can result in sanctions.
--Drm310 🍁 (talk) 14:31, 3 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]