Wikipedia:Peer review/Abby Wambach/archive1

Abby Wambach

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate it as a featured article and am seeking suggestions for improvement.

Thanks, Hmlarson (talk) 01:02, 2 July 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Just some quick comments – they are far from comprehensive:

• "Wambach, a forward, currently stands as the highest all-time goal scorer for the USA Women's National Soccer Team, and holds the world record for international goals for both female and male soccer players with 160 goals." - this is repetitive and doesn't read well. You've also linked USA Women's National Soccer Team even though it was previously linked.
• "USA Women's National Soccer Team" or "United States women's national soccer team" ?
• "hails from" ? colloquial; was she born there, or did she grow up there?
• For the infobox: 1994–1998 - should this be 1994–98 as per MOS:YEAR?
• Is [1] a reliable source?
• "she was named to Parade magazine's high school All-America team and voted national Player of the Year by Umbro and the National Soccer Coaches Association of America (NSCAA)" - English, and reads poorly
• "nation's top 10 recruits" figures or words? WP:ORDINAL
• You use "U.S. National Team" in some areas, but "USA Women's National Soccer Team" in the lead, this is slightly inconsistent, are we going with U.S. or USA?
• For the section "College career" - it all just reads like statistics and achievements, is there anything else that can be said, any notable performances? Significant matches?
• Club career needs expansion. One sentence paragraphs aren't great.
• I could say the same regarding the international section, really needs some expansion.
• "She finished the year with 31 goals and 13 assists. She finished fourth in the voting for the FIFA Women's World Player of the Year." Was the 31 goals for all teams, including international/Olympics/club?
• "without allowing a single goal" -> "without conceding a single goal"
• "2004 Summer Olympics" - serious lack of inline citations; also this section title may be inappropriate
• " she became the twentieth American woman, and thirtieth American soccer player overall," - unclear, English

I'm going to stop now. This article needs significant expansion if it wants to go through FAC. As well, the prose needs polishing, but this PR is a good place to start. She is clearly a very notable athlete and improving this article to FA standard is a great goal (no pun intended). Hope these comments have been useful. I may add more in a few days when/if I have time. - Shudde ^talk 12:28, 3 July 2013 (UTC)