Wikipedia:Peer review/ActRaiser/archive1

ActRaiser

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I recently rewrote the article (per its tag) and am wondering how well I did it, and where it could be further developed. Thanks!

Thanks, Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:41, 11 May 2011 (UTC)

Well, first off, you need to expand the lead to discuss the religious subtext (assuming the source used for that section is reliable), the development, and the reception. Provide references for the Plot section, too. - New Age Retro Hippie (talk) (contributions) 21:16, 20 May 2011 (UTC)

'Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this article, here are some suggestions for improvement.

• A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are 139 WP:FAs in Category:FA-Class video game articles and 9 FAs in Category:FA-Class strategy game articles so there are lots of models out there. Sacrifice (video game) seems like it might be an especially useful model.
• One dead external link that needs to be fixed.
• I agree that the lead needs to be expanded. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. As such, nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. However, A sequel, ActRaiser 2, was released for the Super Nintendo in 1993. In 2007. seems to only be in the lead.
• To expand it, my rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, hoiwever Audio and Reception are not in the lead that I can see - please see WP:LEAD
• Article needs more references, for example the Gameplay section has no refs, but needs them. Or there is one citation needed tag that needs a ref.
• My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
• I think the convention is that the plot is sourced to the game itself and so does not need refs 9but if you can find refs that discuss the plot, please add them)
• Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. FOr example current ref 2 is just a link and the title Nintendo's Era of Censorship.
• Or this print source Electronic Gaming Monthly's Buyer's Guide. 1994. seems like it needs more information (publisher? pages) See WP:CITE and WP:V
• Similarly make sure that all sources meet WP:RS and are reliable sources. For example, what makes http://www.filibustercartoons.com/ a RS?
• Be consistent on little details - so date formats should all be the same (but the article uses both formats: August 7, 2004, and 2009-01-10
• The article has several short (one or two sentence) paragraphs which break up its flow - wherever possible these short paragraphs should be combined with others or perhaps expanded.
• Is it just Tanzra or the Tanzra? (both forms are used)
• See if some free images can be added - for example there is a free image of Douglas Crockford in the article on him.
• Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:26, 26 May 2011 (UTC)