Wikipedia:Peer review/Anfield/archive3
Anfield[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe with a few modifications the article could be close to featured standard, anyway let's see what you think. Cheers NapHit (talk) 19:11, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
- Comments from ChrisTheDude (talk · contribs)
Only got five minutes of my lunch break left, but I'll make a start......
- All-seater stadium doesn't need to be linked twice in the lead, I'd lose it completely in the opening sentence in fact
- "a brewer and friend of fellow brewer" sounds very clunky, although I can't think how to re-word it right now
- "Everton F.C." and "Everton FC" used in the same para - be consistent
- "at the time playing host" - comma needed after "time"
- Double full stop after Accrington F.C.
- This culminated with Everton F.C. moving to Goodison Park, Houlding was left with an empty stadium" - comma is not appropriate here, it should be a new sentence
- You have Lancashire League (football) piped as simply "league", I would suggest the name of the actual league should be shown or the wikilink removed altogether
- "with Liverpool winning" - with......ing should be avoided at all costs
- "A new stand was constructed in 1895......and was built on the site of the present Main Stand" - "and was built" not needed
Back to work now, more to follow........... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:32, 29 July 2009 (UTC) Back as promised.....
- Three very short sentences make up "After Liverpool had won their second League Championship....Boer War in 1900" - I suggest the middle one be merged with one of the other two
- Also, I don't think Championship needs a capital C
- "Local journalist.....local newspapers" - only need to state "local" once
- Don't put "all standing" in brackets
- Liverpool County Football Association could be wikilinked
- "ripped down" sounds a bit unencyclopedic, maybe just say "demolished"
- "adopted as the Club's anthem" - no need for capital on club
- "tributes to the 96 people who died at Hillsborough." - maybe a tad pedantic, but not all 96 actually died at Hillsborough, maybe reword to "died as a result of the disaster"
- "Main stand" is shown at least twice with the S uncapitalised
- "directors box and the players dressing rooms" - apostrophes missing after both directors and players
- "their design includes the three European Cups, Paisley won during his tenure" - no need for that comma
- Scottish is spelt wrong in the bit about the Shankly Gates
- "There is another tribute to Shankly, a statue of him is located at the visitors' centre in front of the Kop." - poorly worded, plus you already mentioned it so no need to do so again
- "the groundsman are assisted" - grammatically incorrect
Will pop back and do the rest later, hope I've helped so far -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:29, 30 July 2009 (UTC)