Wikipedia:Peer review/Artemis Fowl (novel)/archive1
Artemis Fowl (novel)[edit]
I've been working this article up for some time now, and believe I have improved it quite a bit since it failed its GA. I would like to get it there, and would appreciate some advice and random other comments from people who are perhaps more experienced than I am. Thanks! Ale_Jrbtalk 19:31, 28 April 2007 (UTC)
Review by Awadewit[edit]
The biggest problem with this page is that you have not done any research. Even though Artemis Fowl is a relatively recent book, there is some scholarly work on it already. If you put "Artemis Fowl" into google scholar, you can already find some helpful articles and books that will help you write a vastly better page (you will have to comb a bit, but they are there - I looked).
- This page needs a "Themes" section. What are the major themes of this book? (you need sources for this, not just your own opinion)
- This page needs a "Style" or "Genre" section. Artemis Fowl can be considered science fiction/fantasy. You need to discuss why (again, using sources). You also need to discuss other elements of the writer's style (such as the "Code" in this section. A discussion of the narrative strategies employed by the author would be good as well (again, relying on sources). Research will tell you what to include in these sections.
- The "Plot summary" needs to be significantly condensed. In many ways, a plot summary is the least important part of a page about a novel. It is the themes and the style sections that get across the real "meat" of the book. Plots carry the themes. An easy to way to think about this is to contrast "Adam and Even ate the forbidden fruit and were cast out of Paradise" with "The result of all sin is death." The fruit bit is less important than the theme of "sin."
- The lead needs to summarize the article. WP:LEAD
- I would put the "Publication history" first.
- The "Critical response" section has listy paragraphs - make the sentences flow together better. Also, can you find more interesting reviews? Perhaps from real book reviewers? What did children's books reviewers say, for example?
- The prose needs some work (there are some awkward sentences) and the punctuation needs to be attended to.
- If you are quoting from the Library Journal's review, do not link to amazon; they are notorious for their mistakes. Find the actual review and quote from that - either online or in a library.
Let me reiterate, though, that the most important thing that you need to do is research. You should take several weeks to track down all of the sources you can on Colfer and the Fowl books; try to read almost everything published on them. Become a Fowl expert. Then come back and rewrite the page. Awadewit 05:06, 29 April 2007 (UTC)