Wikipedia:Peer review/City of Anaheim v. Angels Baseball LP/archive1
City of Anaheim v. Angels Baseball LP[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like some constructive feedback on how else this article can be improved to get it to GA or FA status. It failed GA a while back and several of the identified issues have been taken care of.
Thanks, KuyaBriBriTalk 19:55, 19 March 2009 (UTC)
Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)
- Dates shouldn't be linked per WP:MOSNUM.
- The lead is a bit on the short side; a good rule of thumb is to summarize every level two header and all important level three headers in the lead.
- Combine the one- and two-sentence paragraphs.
- The see also link in the "Autry/Disney ownership" section should be moved to the top of that section
- If you are eventually aiming for FA, be sure to get a good copy-edit; see WP:PRV for a list of potential copy-editors. Examples:
- "
Ultimately, the city was unsuccessful, as both a trial jury and an appellate court ruled in the team's favor." - "The Los Angeles Angels were an American League expansion team in 1961." I assume you mean "formed in 1961".
- "52-17" Per WP:DASH, scores and court rulings should use en dashes (–) not hyphens (-).
- "opting instead to donate game tickets in the suite to
variouscharities." - "and
alsoseeking to recoup an "
- "
- Be sure that all your sources are reliable, http://www.oursportscentral.com/services/releases/?id=3482138 and http://www.bizofbaseball.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=796&Itemid=42 might be questioned.
- Instead of linking to "year in baseball", why don't you link to the MLB season for that year?
- Em dashes should not be spaced.
- "Truth in advertising " Link?
I hope these comments helped. Dabomb87 (talk) 18:06, 22 March 2009 (UTC)