Wikipedia:Peer review/Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System/archive1

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Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.

I am a pretty new editor to Wikipedia, and I'd like to request a peer review of this article so that I can get some good feedback about what's working/not working. I think the whole article needs reviewing (it isn't very long) for content matter, references, and consistency. Is the content appropriate for this article (too much, too little, missing important things)? Are the references adequate? Is the article easy to read, and does it flow smoothly between sections?

Thanks in advance for your time and input. Bl7904 (talk) 19:42, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, and welcome to Wikipedia. Here are some suggestions to improve it.

  • Make sure the lead summarizes the whole article (Advantages?) and does not include anything not repeated elsewhere (British). the lead should be two paragraphs for this length article. See WP:LEAD
  • This will be difficult, but try to both avoid jargon (see WP:JARGON) and provide context for the reader (see WP:PCR). For example spell out VSTOL in the lead, or explain how the background of launching a plane off a carrier for background so the reader understands what the system has to do. Many readers will also need a brief summary on linear induction motors, steam catapults and the like. Links help, but a good summary sentence or phrase and a link is even better.
  • Units should be both English and metric throughout. {{convert}} should help
  • Article should include reaction, but all that is listed are Advantages. Why did the British not go with this system? WHat critiques have been aimed at it?
  • Give data for comparisons - this is already done in some places (steam give 95 MJ, this 122 MJ) but then the time for steam launches is not given, so the comparison can't be made.
  • Avoid lists in the article (4 components)
  • References come right after punctuation, no space
  • I think the average reader would have some trouble because of jargon and contexxt issues: At the time of launch, the power conversion subsystem releases the stored energy from the disk alternators in a controlled manner by using a cycloconverter. sounds more like Star Trek than an encylopedia article tight now.

Hope this helps - Ruhrfisch ><>°° 04:40, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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