Wikipedia:Peer review/Josephine Butler/archive1

Josephine Butler

Josephine Butler is a fascinating and important character in the history of women's rights. A tireless and forceful feminist and social reformer, she campaigned for women's suffrage, the right to better education, the end of coverture in British law, the end of child prostitution and against the human trafficking of young women and children into European prostitution. Her biggest victory was against the Contagious Diseases Acts, a discriminatory law that enforced medical examination on any woman accused of being a prostitute (without any evidence being needed); she described the examination as surgical or steel rape. This article has gone through a complete re-write recently and any and all comments are welcome to bring this (hopefully) to FAC. – SchroCat (talk) 14:05, 9 August 2016 (UTC)

Comments from Iazyges

Overall, very good article. I noticed that there are very few citations on the lead paragraph, which while not necessarily a flaw, would improve the article in my opinion if more were added, Also, the part of "First attempt to repeal of the Contagious Diseases Acts; 1869–74" that talks about the opposition she received, perhaps an article should be made that is more indepth for each of the incidents. The bit about "not only deprived poor women of their constitutional rights and forced them to submit to a degrading internal examination, but they officially sanctioned a double standard of sexual morality, which justified male sexual access to a class of 'fallen' women and penalised women for engaging in the same vice as men.[56]" Is that supposed to be a paragraph that slips into a quote or was that a mistake? For the "The commission had heard significant evidence that many of the prostitutes were as young as 12, and they recommended that the age of consent should be raised from 12 to 14. Bruce took no action on any of the recommendations for six months.[77]" part, perhaps an addendum of when the age was actually raised, and all the times it was further raised until it reached the modern day amount (which i believe to be 18). The part about "At one meeting, the floor of the room had been liberally sprinkled with cayenne pepper by her opponents, making speaking difficult." Should perhaps list the serious effects of being exposed to it. For the beginning bit about "If she was suffering from a sexually transmitted disease, she would be held in a lock hospital until the condition was cured. If she refused to be examined or hospitalised, she could be imprisoned, often with hard labour.[54][56]" (I reread the article), perhaps a statistic about what percent of women in england had an std or what percent of prostitutes had one, as the government backed nature of the act should allow for reliable statistics. "For the The organisation published a Ladies Manifesto of their " piece, perhaps a link to the paper itself, as it is more than a century old it should be fair game. That is all the constructive criticism I have, respond to anything you disagree with or wish to discuss. Iazyges (talk) 02:25, 10 August 2016 (UTC) @SchroCat:

• Many thanks Iazyges. Let me mull over these to see what changes I need to make. There are a couple that I don't think we can or should cover (such as the long-lasting effects of cayenne pepper). The age of consent information we already cover (at the point when the legislation changed). Yes, the part running into citation 56 is a paragraph that runs into a block quote (and we don't need to have an opening quote mark to it - what looks like the closing quotes are actually the part of a quote within a quote). I'm not a fan of citations in the lead, and as WP:LEADCITE says to only provide them for contentious material, I think we should be OK in this article. Many thanks again and I'll consider the remaining points shortly. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 11:22, 10 August 2016 (UTC)
  • Thanks @SchroCat:, I always fear i'm insulting people when i review things, so it's nice to know you dont feel insulted. Iazyges (talk) 16:29, 10 August 2016 (UTC)

Comments from Sagaciousphil

This article has been on my watch list for a long time as I'd had the intention of doing some work on it - you've beaten me to it and done a far better job than I could have dreamed of doing! I own a couple of her biographies so am familiar with the subject; I feel you have captured the essence of this deserving character and all the work she did. I did some very minor typo fixes.

• In the "First attempt to repeal of the Contagious Diseases Acts; 1869–74" section, 6th paragraph, presently ref #76 to the Royal Commission 1871 - should this have the page number (it's p. 17)?
• In the "Approach, analysis and legacy" section, 5th paragraph, there is a quote starting "Liberalism provided the framework for Butler's whole social and political approach. ..." - no doubt showing my ignorance here but I thought there shouldn't be links in quotes per Wikipedia:Manual of Style#Linking?

I'll have another read through it in a few days. SagaciousPhil - Chat 08:25, 10 August 2016 (UTC)

• Many thanks for your thoughts: much appreciated! Yes, you are right on both counts, and I've amended accordingly. If you see anything else on your return, I'd be delighted to hear it. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 11:14, 10 August 2016 (UTC)

Comments re images

• File:Josephine_Butler_-_portrait.jpg was certainly taken before 1923, but the given tag requires that it be published before that date - was that the case?

• Probably, but I can't find a reference to it, so I've swapped out for one that definitely is. - SchroCat (talk) 21:11, 14 August 2016 (UTC)

• File:George_Butler.jpg: my understanding is that under UK law, a work-for-hire does not qualify under the unknown-author provisions, even if the specific photographer is unknown - instead the employer is presumed to be the copyright holder. Also, as above the US tag would require pre-1923 publication, not just creation

• Tweaked to show publication. – SchroCat (talk) 21:40, 13 August 2016 (UTC)

• Great, just the PD-UK-unknown tag to deal with now. Nikkimaria (talk) 11:48, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

• File:Munro_bust_of_Josephine_Butler.jpg: what is the copyright status of the bust itself?

• Added - SchroCat (talk) 19:43, 14 August 2016 (UTC)

• File:Elizabeth_Wolstenholme_001.jpg: as above, need evidence of pre-1923 publication if we're to keep the current tag

• Swapped out for a new image with the appropriate tags. - SchroCat (talk) 09:36, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

• File:Josephine_Butler_-_Pontefract_meeting_notice.png: if we're saying the author is Butler herself, how can we also say the author is unknown? The given tag doesn't make sense

• Tweaked to show the organisation as author, which is correct. – SchroCat (talk) 21:40, 13 August 2016 (UTC)

• Okay. As above, I think corporate author doesn't qualify for the unknown tag. Same with File:William_Ewert_Gladstone_in_later_life.jpg. I'm not certain of this, though. Nikkimaria (talk) 11:48, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

• File:James_Stansfeld.JPG needs a US PD tag

• Swapped out for another, with appropriate tags. - SchroCat (talk) 19:58, 14 August 2016 (UTC)

• File:1271754717_william-e.-gladstone.jpg: as above, need evidence of pre-1923 publication.

• Swapped out for newly-uploaded image, with appropriate tags - SchroCat (talk) 20:22, 14 August 2016 (UTC)

• Same with File:Portrait_of_William_Thomas_Stead.jpg.

• Done - SchroCat (talk) 20:07, 14 August 2016 (UTC)

Nikkimaria (talk) 17:51, 13 August 2016 (UTC)

• Many thanks Nikkimaria. Mostly done, with one more to come. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 21:27, 14 August 2016 (UTC)
• All now sorted, thanks. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 09:37, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

• File:Josephine_Butler,_1876.jpg names an author so shouldn't use PD-UK-unknown. Same with File:Portrait_of_William_Thomas_Stead.jpg. Nikkimaria (talk) 11:48, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

A couple of preliminary points (BB)

I've not had time for more than a swift glance, and won't be able to begin a proper review until Tuesday, but here are a couple of early points for consideration:

• I'm not sure what the names protocol is in such cases, but it seems to me to be strange to be referring to a female by her future married surname when she is still a tiny tot, as in "Butler was taught at home before completing her schooling at a boarding school in Newcastle upon Tyne", or an adolescent, e.g. "At about the age of 17 Butler went through a religious crisis...". The second main section begins "By 1850 Butler was in a relationship with George Butler...", after which you generally call him George and her Butler. This might be quite confusing for some readers. I'd definitely consider using her first name in the childhood section and begin the second "By 1850 Josephine was in a relationship..." etc; maybe nothing can be done thereafter, although in Bessie Braddock I got round a similar problem by referring to her as "Bessie" throughout, to avoid confusion with her husband Jack.
• I'd consider a slight reconstruction of the lead so that it begins with a short, punchy paragraph that gives her dates, says who she was and mentions her most noteworthy achievements. This might save you trouble at some future time.

Back with a full review in a few days. Brianboulton (talk) 15:36, 14 August 2016 (UTC)

• Thanks Brian. I've re-worked the lead a little, and gone with "Josephine" throughout. Please let me know if either of these still need some work. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 21:27, 14 August 2016 (UTC)

• Maybe others will have views on the use of Josephine throughout, although it's fine by me. I'd say the final sentence of the first lead paragraph is redundant, being effectively covered by the previous one. More later. Brianboulton (talk) 12:06, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

Here is my full review. I've also made a few minor amendments to the text which you are of course welcome to audit and revert. A very interesting article, providing a good insight into the life and work of a worthy woman.

Lead

• First para: "the right to better education" – should this be "the right of women to better education"?
• As a result of my earlier comment about the confusion from referring to her throughout by her married surname, you amended this to "Josephine" in the main text, but she's still "Butler" in the lead. This causes problems, particularly in the second paragraph when you introduce George Butler. I'd stick to "Josephine", with as much recourse to pronound as is consistent with clarity.
• "Butler's final campaign was against the Contagious Diseases Acts implemented in the British Raj." I would date this (although the dating is not clear from the text), and you should consider changing the wording to "...which continued to be implemented..."
• You might consider adding her Lesser Festival date to the linked article

Early life; 1828–50

• I think I'd elevate John Grey's relationship to Lord Grey to earlier in the paragraph, along these lines: "She was the fourth daughter and seventh child of Hannah (née Annett) and John Grey, a land agent and agricultural expert, who was a cousin of the reformist British Prime Minister, Lord Grey, In 1833 John was appointed manager of the Greenwich Hospital Estates in Dilston, near Corbridge, Northumberland, and the family moved to the area,[4] where John acted as Lord Grey's chief political agent".
• The words "in the matters of" are unnecessary
• "The quotation beginning "intellectual, political..." ought to be attributed, but as its authorship is anonymous this presents difficulties. Perhaps in this case a paraphrase would be more appropriate.
• "disenchanted at" → "disenchanted with"

Early married life; 1850–64

• Something seems to be missing; there's nothing about her early life after 1847. When, and how, did Josephine enter the Oxford milieu? The last we heard of her, she was apprently still based in Northumerland.
• Awkwardly worded first sentence – maybe "By 1850 Josephine was in a relationship with George Butler, a Fellow of Exeter College, Oxford, whom she had met at several of the local balls that she enjoyed attending". I'm also a bit unsure about "in a relationship", which in 21st century parlance usually means having it off. Is that the implication here?

Liverpool etc

• "a petition to amend the Reform Bill..." – I think this should be pipe-linked to Reform Act 1867, rather than using the link later in the paragraph
• "Although it was thought only thirty students a week would attend, three hundred joined." Not sure how to interpret this. Does it mean 300 attended every session, or is this the total, in which case 30 a week is probably about right.

First attempt... etc

• "On 31 December 1869 the association published a statement..." clarify you mean the LNA, not the other bunch
• A footnote states: "The bill gave police powers to suppress brothels, crack down on prostitutes under the age of 16 and raise the age of consent to 14." It was surely not in the police's powers to raise the age of consent as implied in the note, which therefore needs rewording.
• The link on "age of consent" is not very helpful, as you then have to use another link to find out what the term actually means. I'd add a short explanation of the term to the text, and re-link to Age of consent.
• What were Metropolitan Police officers doing at a by-election meeting in Pontefract?

• I'll need to check this when I have access to the source again. – SchroCat (talk) 06:48, 21 August 2016 (UTC)

• Apologies for butting in but I have access to both sources. Jordan definitely just has "two helmeted Metropolitan policemen"; further explanation is given by Butler (1910, p. 50) where she has "These were Metropolitans who had come from London for the occasion of the election;" Hopefully you'll be able to tweak from that but if you need any more let me know. SagaciousPhil - Chat 07:19, 21 August 2016 (UTC)

• Excellent, many thanks! (I'm holidaying in France at the moment and WiFi is thin on the ground! Cheers — SchroCat (talk) 08:32, 21 August 2016 (UTC)

• "a constituency of 2,000" → "an electorate of 2,000"

European pressure etc

• "its replacement with Benjamin Disraeli's Conservative Party" → "its replacement with Benjamin Disraeli's Conservative administration", and a better link to that administration is here
• "In 1878 Josephine wrote a biography of Catherine of Siena, which Glen Petrie—Josephine's biographer—thought was probably her best work" – this is the first reference I can recall in the article to any literary activity, though the mention of "her best work" implies it was not her first. Some introduction to this side of her life, either here or earlier in the text, should be given
• "from England to the continent" – I think I'd say "mainland Europe", since many non-Brit readers won't be familiar with our habit of referring to Europe as "the continent"
• The word "Belgian" occurs four times in the penultimate line. I'm sure this can be reduced.

Second attempt

• Minor copyediting only

Child prostitution

• "Although Josephine was swayed by the evidence he had been shown..." – who is "he"? Assuming it's Stead, I would simplify the paragraph beginning to: "Stead considered the best way..." etc
• "Stead purchased a 13-year-old girl from her mother for £5": we need a little more information on how and where this transaction was effected. Presumably the brothel keeper arranged it, and the adjoining footnote suggests that the girl may have been bought in France, but we need more detail in the text.
• I'm a bit concerned at the length of the quotation (150+ words) – see recommendations in WP:QUOTEFARMand WP:LONGQUOTE.
• "The following day she and George left for a holiday ..." – we need an actual date, since there isn't a clear point of reference for "the following day"

India, Empire and the final years

• "the same legislation" → "equivalent legislation"
• "To circumvent the ban, the India Office advised new legislation..." – I don't think "ban" is right, it's "to circumvent this order". And what does "advised new legislation" mean? Whom did they advise?
• "Josephine was too old to travel to India". She was 62 in 1890, hardly dotage. Perhaps "felt she was"?
• This fourth paragraph could do with some date referencing

Approach, analysis and legacy

• "The Women's Library, housed at the London School of Economics, holds a number of collections related to Josephine" You then list the Josephine Butler Society, the Josephine Butler Letter Collection, and the Josephine Butler Society Library. The first of these is not a collection, and its papers etc seem covered by the third.

That's all. I will watch further progress with interest.

• Brian, that's hugely helpful. Many, many thanks. I watched your edits periodically yesterday, and they are all great. I'll work my way through your comments over the next few days. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 17:13, 18 August 2016 (UTC)

Comments from Cass

I'll try and get to this over the next few days. Cassianto^Talk 12:00, 17 August 2016 (UTC)

• "any single strand of Christianity" - the plural and singular clash here.
• "She began a practice of speaking directly to God in her prayers" -- redundant use of "a practice", unless it's absolutely necessary, of course.
• "By October that year George was sending her poems he had written for her" -- "By October that year George was sending her self-penned poems"?
• "By 1850 Josephine grew close to George Butler, a Fellow of Exeter College, Oxford, whom she had met at several of the balls hosted around County Durham that she enjoyed attending." -- "that she enjoyed attending" -- redundant.
• "George was a scholar and cleric and shared with his wife a commitment to liberal reforms and a love of Italian culture. The couple also shared a strong Christian belief and Josephine later wrote of her husband that they often "prayed together that a holy revolution might come about and that the Kingdom of God might be established on the earth". -- shared / shared.
• "She had been seduced by a don who had subsequently abandoned her; the woman had murdered her baby in despair." --Two things: Firstly, do we need to pipe "don"? For those who don't know what one is, they are forced off the page to go and find out. I fixed Newgate Prison, for the same reason. Revert if you feel differently.
• "The couple continued their support for liberal causes, including for the Italian nationalist Giuseppe Garibaldi, although their sympathy for the Union cause in the American Civil War led to social ostracism" -- causes / cause. That kind of repetition really takes the biscuit.
  • Confectionery jokes now, is it? Not very Nice. Drives you crackers. Tim riley talk 17:10, 22 August 2016 (UTC)
    • Oh dear - and when I'm short tempered too! It's too much to digest. I might have to have a boubon and take a bath! – SchroCat (talk) 17:47, 22 August 2016 (UTC)
      • I'm lucky I don't have to take part in this frankly futile exchange as I'm off to Paignton where I'll be on a stag weekend in a few days. Now be off with both of you to the nearest infobox discussion with the Infobox police. Cassianto^Talk 18:09, 22 August 2016 (UTC)
      • Drat! I think Cassianto wins with his Jammie Dodgers. Paignton, eh? Give my love to the baboons at the Paignton zoo. Tim riley talk 18:57, 22 August 2016 (UTC)
• "It soon became clear that there were more women in need than they could provide for, so Josephine set up a hostel for women, with funds from local men of means." -- women / women repetition. Do you need the "for women"?
• "Josephine increasingly began to campaign for women's rights, including obtaining the vote and the right to a better education." -- "Josephine increased her campaign for women's rights, which included the rights to vote and to have a better education."?

Up to First attempt to repeal of the Contagious Diseases Acts; 1869–74 Cassianto^Talk 17:18, 21 August 2016 (UTC)

• Cheers Cass, all done to here. – SchroCat (talk) 15:37, 22 August 2016 (UTC)

• "At one meeting pimps threw cow dung at her; at another, the windows of her hotel were smashed, while at a third, threats were made to burn the building down." -- Were the last two threats made at the same time? If not, you might want to add "in which she was staying" as it looks like an empty threat made at a random building.
• "In 1870 Josephine toured the country..." -- which country?
• The First attempt to repeal of the Contagious Diseases Acts; 1869–74 section, and the one after it, has rather a lot "In 18**..."'s in it I've noticed
• "In 1879 Josephine became aware of the slave trade of young women and children from England to mainland Europe. The young girls from England..." -- two "From England"'s in close succession.

That's my lot. Another great article about someone who I knew very little about. Cassianto^Talk 19:35, 28 August 2016 (UTC)

• Cheers Cass, much obliged! – SchroCat (talk) 20:01, 28 August 2016 (UTC)

Me too, bear with me!♦ Dr. Blofeld 21:18, 18 August 2016 (UTC)

Comments from Tim riley

Trio of typos amended (but please check). Shall now give the text a close reading and report back. Meanwhile permit me a passing pedantry: homosexuality was not (Note Q) "illegal in Britain until 1967". Being homosexual was never illegal in Britain: it was homosexual activity that was illegal (and even then only male, not female, homosexual activity.) I'd revise the note to read something like "sex between males was illegal in Britain until 1967". Tim riley talk 22:14, 21 August 2016 (UTC)

First batch of Riley comments. More a.s.a.p.

• Early married life
  • "settled in a home at..." – slightly strange phrasing, I thought. Makes it sound a bit like an institution. I'd be inclined to make this "set up home at..."
  • "the couple moved to a local house... The couple continued" – perhaps just "they" instead of the second "the couple"?
  • "including for the Italian nationalist..." – a tiny drafting point, but I think this would read better as "including that of the Italian nationalist..."
• Liverpool and the start of reform work
  • "Despite the move to a new city" – loyal and devoted Scouser though I be, I must point out that Liverpool was not officially a city until 1880.
• First attempt to repeal of the Contagious Diseases Acts
  • "whom he thought may be a prostitute" – "who", not "whom" here.
  • "focussed her attention" – but it was "focused" in the lead and the Liverpool section, and is much the better for losing the superfluous "s".
  • "Josephine met the prime minister" – job title is capitalised earlier. I dither about whether it ought to be or not, but you should be consistent one way or t'other.
• European pressure and the white slave trade
  • Another "focussed" here (second para).
• Child prostitution and Eliza Armstrong
  • "founder of The Salvation Army" – are you sure about the capitalisation of the definite article?
  • "the Pall Mall Gazette" – contrariwise, I'd capitalise and pipe the definite article here

More soonest. This is a fascinating article. Tim riley talk 16:54, 22 August 2016 (UTC)

• Many thanks Tim – all done so far. Cheers – SchroCat (talk)

Second and last lot from TR

• India, Empire and the final years
  • "the India Office advised the new legislation to the Viceroy of India that..." - doesn't read quite right to me: perhaps something like "the India Office advised the Viceroy of India to instigate new legislation that..."
  • "Josephine felt she was too old to travel to India" - we could all work it out if we bothered to check her d.o.b. at the top of the page, but it might be helpful if you were kindly to do the work for us: "Now in her sixties, Josephine felt she was too old.." or "Josephine, at 62 [if I have the arithmetic right], felt she was too old..."
• Notes
  • "ten children, the last of which" - I think I'd make this "whom" rather than "which".

That's all from me. I'm very glad to have read this article and so learnt about such an inspiring figure who was hitherto only a name to me. Tim riley talk 14:29, 25 August 2016 (UTC)

• Many thanks Tim: much appreciated, as always. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 14:54, 25 August 2016 (UTC)

Ian Rose

Hi Gavin and all, I don't normally stop by PR but this just caught my eye... Having just read through the lead, I find "Tireless and forceful" a bit opinionated, even though I don't doubt its truth. I think that the rest of that sentence, "she campaigned for women's suffrage, the right of women to better education, the end of coverture in British law, the end of child prostitution and against the human trafficking of young women and children into European prostitution" demonstrates her tirelessness (and implies her forcefulness) pretty well anyway. That's my tuppence, look forward to seeing this at FAC. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 05:30, 23 August 2016 (UTC)

• Thanks Ian, I've taken that out. See you at FAC soon! Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 07:36, 23 August 2016 (UTC)