Wikipedia:Peer review/Luton Town F.C./archive1

Luton Town F.C.

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've been gearing this article up for a while now, and a lot of work has gone into it. I'm putting it up for peer review to iron out any creases in it.

Cheers, 000Cliftonian000 10:27, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Oldelpaso

Before looking at the article I made a mental list of things I expected to see in it: material about the Southern League days which I know little about, the major events of the 1980s top flight years including the dramatic nature of the 1983 escape from relegation, the 1988 League Cup win (and the penalty save which turned the match), rivalry with Watford, the away fan ban, and of course the recent events which culminated in the loss of league status. Most of these are present, but I think more attention can be devoted to the comparative success of the 1980s - the club's only major trophy win gets just seven words. More specific comments:

• The origin of the club's Hatters nickname should be included somewhere. – done. 000Cliftonian000
• All facts mentioned in the lead should also be mentioned in the body of the article. – done. 000Cliftonian000
• Probably only the history article hatnote needs to be at the top of the History section. – done. 000Cliftonian000
• Luton joined the Football League in 1897, but left three years later due to poor attendances, high wages, and the fact that due to most professional clubs at the time being in Northern England, they were spending too much money on transport - ought to be split into two sentences. – done. 000Cliftonian000
• The price of the programme is too minor to be worthy of mention. – done. 000Cliftonian000
• The list of club staff should possibly be trimmed so that only those notable enough for an article are included. – done. 000Cliftonian000

Overall the article is very close to GA standard. If you intend to take it all the way to FAC, let me know and I will leave detailed comments with that in mind.

Hope this helps. Oldelpaso (talk) 15:15, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Some further comments. I'll have a run through to look for any prose issues at some point.

• The club also fields a youth team at Under-18 level and operates a Centre of Excellence for boys in the Under-9 to Under-16 age groups - can I take from this that the club have no reserve team?  Done Cliftonian • talk
• Neil Brown's site only covers league football since the end of the Second World War, so it doesn't support the assertion that only three players have scored more than 100 league goals for Luton.  Done Cliftonian • talk
• Since lutontownfc.com is a fansite, its reliability is likely to be questioned at FAC. Ditto http://www.clubfanzine.com/QPR/v2.showNews.php?id=11995 .  Done Cliftonian • talk
• Soccerbase sometimes uses incomplete data for its managerial records pages, so it'd be a good idea to double check the figures with a second source. Oldelpaso (talk) 16:01, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments by ChrisTheDude

Looks good generally, here are some points I picked up

• First Division is linked twice in the lead
• Football League linked twice in three sentences in the first para of History
• "Luton first adopted their white and black colours for the 1920–21 season" - what did they wear before?
• Mention that Payne's 10 goals in a game was (and remains) a League record
• "Top flight" used twice in consecutive sentences in the 1970s, try to vary the language a bit more
• "won the League Cup in a year later" - spot the extraneous word
• Don't start a sentence with a number, as you do with 2003 and 1994 in different places
• "The club didn't adopt their own crest until the 1973" - the 1973?
• You state that the stadium is in Bury Park twice
• "These boxes replaced the Bobbers Stand in the 1986" - as per earlier point about 1973
• Sentence about plastic pitch has no full stop
• "New Stadium" heading should have a lower case S on stadium
• In this section you use "unpopular" twice very close together
• "Luton Town are one of the best supported clubs in League Two" - might want to reword this as (barring the potential collapse of multiple other clubs) they will cease to be members of League Two next month
• "The first Luton player to be capped while playing for Luton" - two uses of "Luton" seems redundant
• Don't think hatnote to seasons article belongs under "Honours"
• "Luton Town's honours include the following" - the use of "includes" suggests there are others that are missing, if this is not the case then change to something like "Luton have won the following honours"
• Ref formatting needs a lot of work, eg in some cases you have the publisher as "www.lutontown.premiumtv.co.uk", in others as "Luton Town F.C." (the latter is correct), you also have "BBC" and "BBC Sport". A number of refs have no publisher shown at all. A couple have "When Saturday Comes" as both work and publisher, it is not necessaryto show it twice. Also, if you plan to take this to FAC, you'd definitely be challenged on the reliability of AWK, twohundredpercent.net, Northern Ireland's Footballing Greats and NNDB – all done. Thanks 000Cliftonian000

Hope all this helps, anyway..... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 09:26, 13 May 2009 (UTC)