Wikipedia:Peer review/Matt Damon/archive1

Matt Damon

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to know what needs to be done, so the article can become an FA.

Thanks, --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:47, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Casliber

Good choice to get to FA :) I'll drop some notes. Sorry if I sound a bit abrupt at times - it looks promising. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:23, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

• Growing steadily in popularity from the 1997 film, he has since matched up with A-list actors in mainstream films, and today is rated among the top actors in Hollywood. - this sentence is a bit vague, what are you getting at with the first link to 1997 - do you mean all films he made that year or...? Also, 'matched up with', do you mean..what, starred on eaqual billing with?

• 2nd para of lead is a wee bit listy, maybe reclassify films by saying 'the adventure films' or the comedies' or by years or whatever. have a play with it.

• Damon responded that his grandfather.. - 'responded' carries the connotation of a question appearing before it. As none is supplied here, why not use 'stated' or 'reported' or something similar --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:11, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

• I'd link Depression to Gt Depression. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:11, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

• He could have graduated with the class of 1992,.. - sounds a bit colloquial - could just say 'He could have graduated in 1992,..' --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:11, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

• but kept leaving classes to pursue acting projects - ditto. Not sure what works best here. Maybe 'but chose to defer classes to pursue acting projects' (?)

• ..after he expected Geronimo: An American Legend to be a big success - should be reworded as expected sounds odd here, but I am stumped on how to rephrase it.
  • I think I got it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:11, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

• Damon and Ben Affleck developed a thriller about a young math genius, which they pitched around Hollywood. Receiving advice from writer/director/actor Rob Reiner, screenwriter William Goldman, and their friend writer/director Kevin Smith,[10] the two changed the script around to focus on a young math genius trying to make his way in the world. - sounds odd as it says they changed it around but the beginning and end bits don't reflect any change. Should maybe elaborate a little here
  • I think I got it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 16:03, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

• Liveplanet should be linked via an inline reference and preferably be a 3rd party source
  • Question: What do you mean for this? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:34, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

• Second half of Breakthrough section is listy, this could and should be elaborated wuite a bit. I am sure there are interviews where Damon discusses his roles in some depth.

• The Philanthropy could probably have the same input. bit listy as is

The article is only 34kb, so plenty of room to grow. Not too bad as is, but be wary of bits which sound a bit colloquial. I am not a Damon expert so cannot comment too muich more on comprehenisveness. I will think more upon it. Good luck. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:23, 6 June 2008 (UTC)