Wikipedia:Peer review/Monaco Grand Prix/archive1
Monaco Grand Prix[edit]
I'm planning to make this a FAC. Just thought I'd put it through a PR first. Buc 15:02, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
- Here are my thoughts:
**"the jewel of the Formula One crown" - I'm not sure this is the ideal wording to express this sentiment. If it's a direct quote from the cited source, I'd consider putting it in quotation marks. If not, it's not in standard encyclopaedic tone.
**"The race is held on a narrow course laid out in the streets of Monaco, whose many elevation changes and tight corners make it one of the most demanding tracks in Formula One." - I have no doubt this is true, but it could do with citation, which shouldn't be too hard to find.
**"On the race weekend frogmen (divers) are employed to rescue any drivers who happen to crash into the harbour." - Again, I don't doubt this is true, but those at FAC might want it cited.
**"The Principality's first Grand Prix race was organised in 1929 by Antony Noghes, under the auspices of Prince Louis II through the "Automobile Club de Monaco" (A.C.M.)" - this is identical to some text in the lead. Reword it or the text becomes boring.
- "There is no relationship between "Williams" and the later Formula One team of the same name." - I'd insert "It must be noted that" at the start of this sentence to improve flow.
**"The Monaco Grand Prix was one of the races in the inaugural [...] has been raced as part of the Formula One World Championship." - There's not a single citation in this paragraph, and FAC might pick up on that fact.
I've run out of time, but I hope these help. Seegoon 18:18, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
Covered all but one. That was reverted because it was deemed "redundant". Buc 20:28, 30 January 2007 (UTC)
- That was me - 'It must be noted that' doesn't actually tell us anything. Also, why must it be noted? What will happen if we don't? Perhaps I'm being overly picky.... 4u1e 19:20, 3 February 2007 (UTC)