Wikipedia:Peer review/Pallid sturgeon/archive1

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Pallid sturgeon[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
Requesting peer review for this article. I have made substantial improvements and feel that the article is close to featured level, however, wording and some of the scope may need improvement, enhancements and fine tuning. I appreciate any suggestions that others may have.

Thanks, MONGO 17:48, 28 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very interesting article - here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

  • I think the lead should have some more basic information on the species - typical size and weight, perhaps the fact that it can live to be 50 to 100 years old
    • Added as suggested...MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I also think it would help provide context to the reader if there were a paragraph or a few sentences on the history of dam building on the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers - see WP:PCR
    • May do so...trying to not go to far away from the main subject though.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • A map showing some of the major rivers mentioned in the article might help too
    • Still looking for this one, but a great idea.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I once had an article at FAC which said rocks in a park were older than the dinosaurs and was asked to take it out. I personally think it helps provide context, but wanted to mention it here.
    • I cleaned this up a bit.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I also note the article is apparaently inconsistent on the age of the species - in "Taxonomy and Etymology" (which should be "Taxonomy and etymology" per WP:HEAD), it says Pallid sturgeon are some of the most primitive and ancient fish species, having originated during the Jurassic Period 200 million years ago.[10] The pallid sturgeon is a relic of the dinosaur era and has remained virtually unchanged over the past 70 million years. What changes happened in the first 130 million years?
    • Took out the Jurassic part...fixed the heading as mentioned.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid needless repetition The "Physical characteristics" section is next and nearly repeats the second sentence mentioend above as The species is ancient and has remained virtually unchanged for 70 million years, since the Cretaceous period. I like the specific mention of the Cretaceous.
    • I moved this discussion in the article all into one section.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Article needs a copyedit to polish the language in some places. A few examples (not an exhaustive list)
    • Typo? "and" does not make sense in Instead, pallid sturgeons have cartilaginous skeletons and in addition they have and 5 rows of thick cartilage plates that extend along their sides, undersides and backs, as well as most of the head.
    • Larval or larvae? In Missouri, at the Lisbon Bottoms section of the Big Muddy National Fish & Wildlife Refuge, wild pallid sturgeon larval were collected in 1998. These wild pallid sturgeon larvae ...
      • This is confusing...what I read is that "larva" is singular..."larvae" is plural...but some sources I have been reading use the term "larval"...so I am not sure what to do...but I went and changed all to Larva and Larvae to maintain consistency.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Any way to avoid repeating "pallid sturgeon" quite so much?
      • Removed some of this repetition.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • I read the article for comprehension and noted a sentence where the same word was used three times, but now I can't find it. I think the word in question was location or production or something like that
  • Dates are generally left unlinked now
    • Yup...fixed that one.MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Pallid sturgeon have no known natural predators aside from man. probably needs a ref
  • Refs and images look good
    • Removed this mention...MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 12:10, 5 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

    • I have adjusted the sections you mentioned and did some more fine tuning. I surely appreciate all the time you spent making suggestions. I am still searching for some kind of range map that is suitable..most that I have found are pretty plain looking. I am trying to not go into a long speal regarding dams ro make a political statement too loudly about how daming has impacted the habitat...preferring to mainly stick to discussion on the species itself, though I think further cleanup is needed yet on these issues, as you mentioned. Thanks again!--MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

  • You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.
Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 14:31, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
    • Thank you..I did find one ref that had a dead link so I corrected that. Thanks for your time.--MONGO 12:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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