Wikipedia:Peer review/Shimabara Rebellion/archive1
Shimabara Rebellion[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because its earlier messy state was controversial (to the point of making the news and causing an academic incident), and after having extensively reworked and expanded it, I would like feedback on its current state and how it may be yet improved.
Thanks, Tadakuni (talk) 20:51, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.
- The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article and needs to be two or three paragraphs. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
- The article needs more references and needs to attribute some its statements better. For example, As such, the image of a fully "peasant" uprising is also not entirely accurate. reads like original research without a cite, or Even the Dutch, who had a trading post nearby and were anti-Catholic, were startled at the excessive degree of repression. These policies were continued by Shigemasa's heir, Katsuie. is not referenced. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
- Several places need to provide more context for the reader - see WP:PCR. For example, explaining who Jizō is in the caption Statues of Jizō beheaded by rebelling Christians. or if a map that shows where all this occurred is available, that would be good.
- The list of forces fighting - could this be made into prose / text?
- Wikipedia is NOT a reliable source (even the Japanese version)
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 00:54, 22 August 2008 (UTC)