Wikipedia:Peer review/The Story of Miss Moppet/archive1

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The Story of Miss Moppet[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review and hope to take it eventually to FA. I need feedback. I've exhausted the sources, there's no further information as far as I know. Comments are welcome about layout, images, etc. Thanks, Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:42, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, it's certainly a good article. However, it seems far too short for an FAC. Perhaps you should do one of the other wonderful storybooks you've chronicled...? ResMar 21:38, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on Beatrix Potter's stories (I was always partial to Squirrel Nutkin myself ;-) ). Here are some suggestions for improvement with an eye to FAC.

  • There is no length requirement or minimum value at FAC. There is a list of 10 shortest FAs here, and this is currently just slightly shorter than the shortest FA there. I think if some of the things suggested can be added or moved into the text, it will be longer than the shortest FA. As long as it is a comprehensive article about the subject, that is the relevant FA criterion here.
  • I added the metric conversion for the acreage of her farm. There should be non-breaking spaces between the numbers and units (I did this for the hectare figure I added).
  • Someone at FAC might ask for a ref for The farm became her home away from London and her artistic retreat.
 Done Deleted this sentence. Cannot recall where I read it and it's not critical to the article. I'll restore it when I come across the source. Susanne2009NYC (talk) 21:29, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think the number of illustrations (14 in the Project Gutenberg version) could be mentioned.
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 05:44, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I also was curious as to the size of the paper panorama and the layout of the panorama version - was the paper printed on both sides or were all the illustrations on one side? Also where were the captions relative to the images?
 Done Have done my best on this but the sources are not clear. I think the image helps but I cannot discover whether both sides of the strip were used. Susanne2009NYC (talk) 21:29, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I see there is some more on this as well as an image here
  • The page size tool does not count notes or captions - I think the note on the three planned books could be incorporated into the main text.
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 05:44, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • WP:CAPTION says captions should be succinct. I think the part on Joel Chandler should be in the text too. The part about catching the mouse by the tail could be in the caption or in the text (with some briefer version in the caption)
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 05:44, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Every FA on artistic works I can recall (books, movies, music albums, etc.) has the Style / Themes / Critical reception section last, or at least after the creation process. I would move the Illustrations section before the Style and themes section.
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 05:44, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would refer to "Academics" with more specific terms if possible, so perhaps "professsor of children's literature" or even specify the university or college if it is likely to be well known.
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 05:44, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The story has a very limited cast of characters with one dominant character... I would make it clearer that the cat and mouse are the only characters.
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 05:44, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think per the MOS that "Atglen, PA" should be spelled out as "Atglen, Pennsylvania" in the refs - could be linked too, if desired.
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 05:44, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Otherwise I really enjoyed this and think it would stand a good chance at FAC, especially if the issues raised here are addressed.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I originally found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:18, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A bit more
  • The article now has 6.5 kB of prose, so it is bigger than the smallest FAs
  • I would explain or link 32mo - perhaps link it to Bookbinding#Terms_and_techniques? Did not check to see if Wiktionary has the term.
 Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 21:29, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The sentence with 32mo in it is quite long and complex - not sure if it can be smoothed out as is, or if it needs to be split into two sentences Miss Moppet was released in a 10,000 copy first printing for Christmas 1906 in an oblong 32 mo, 94 mm (3.7 in) by 112 mm (4.4 in) panorama format of 14 colour plates and 14 pages of text printed from left to right on a long strip of linen backed paper that folded accordion-fashion into a grey cloth wallet with blue lettering and decoration that closed with a flap and tied with a ribbon.[4][5][6]
 Done Made two sentences. Susanne2009NYC (talk) 21:29, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I like the panorama image very much.
  • Please let me know if you take this to FAC, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 12:19, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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