Wikipedia:Peer review/White Lies (band)/archive1

White Lies (band)[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.
- All possible solutions to problems stated in automated peer review have been dealt with. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 02:42, 2 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it was recently passed as a Good Article and I feel it can do the same with Featured Article. One of the steps on the road to GA is a peer review, so I'd like someone to have a look and see if they can give me a second opinion.

Thanks, ^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 19:58, 17 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Sillyfolkboy

You should signify that "Young and Lost Club" is a label (I presume it is?). At the moment it isn't very clear.
- Fixed - added "...independent record label Young and Lost Club..." --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Mention when they decided upon the name "Fear of Flying". It's strange that the first time you mention the name it is to say that they disbanded.
- This one's a bit of a difficult one, I've scoured the internet and can't find any mention of why they were named this. Any ideas on what should be done? --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - No worries, I'm sure this piece of info will be explained in the press at a later date. Sillyfolkboy (talk)
    - Dealt with. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 02:42, 2 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
This sentence is very brief and seems a little out of context:
- "They cited Talking Heads as a major influence."
Is there anything else interesting you can add to this or can you link it up with one of the other sentences?
- I've moved the sentence to "Musical style", do you think this is a better place for it? --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Agreed, without any connecting prose expanding upon the band's influence, it's best to place it with the other musical influences. Sillyfolkboy (talk)
    - Fixed. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 02:37, 2 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"Playing under the new name": say "Playing under their new moniker" for a bit of language variation
- Done. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Any idea when they began sessions for their new album?
- Fixed - began in May 2008. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Has the "To Lose My Life" video been shown elsewhere? e.g. MTV etc
- Fixed - added note about MTV Two and NME. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Is there an NME television station or something? It's just that if you're taking it from the website you should know they import videos direct from Youtube sometimes so it may not be notable. I know from the strange experience of finding my own live performances there. Sillyfolkboy (talk)
  - NME does have its own television station yes, i wouldn't say they made direct imports from YouTube though; they often have NME exclusive videos played, implying that it is their own content. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 02:37, 2 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
When did White Lies sign for their record label? Their record label should also be mentioned in the lead.
- Fixed - Mentioned in lead, still looking for exact date of signing. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Referencing: Remember that you should add publication dates and authors to the references. For a quick example:

<ref name="Ealing Times">{{cite web|title=Ealing band are critics favourite with 2009 album|url=http://www.ealingtimes.co.uk/news/localnews/3984584.White_Lies_tipped_for_success_in_2009/|publisher=''[[Ealing Times]]''|accessdaymonth=17 December|accessyear=2008}}</ref>

Should actually be:

<ref name="Ealing Times">{{cite web|last=Hayes|first=Alex| title=Ealing band are critics favourite with 2009 album|url=http://www.ealingtimes.co.uk/news/localnews/3984584.White_Lies_tipped_for_success_in_2009/|publisher=''[[Ealing Times]]''|date=17 December 2008|accessdaymonth=22 December|accessyear=2008}}</ref>

Also, add the Young and Lost redlink into the citation it first appears in.
- Done. --^{SteelersFanUK06} ReplyOnMine! 00:59, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I would strongly recommend that you do not take this article to WP:Featured Article Candidates now. The reason I say this is that the band have done so little so far and in three/six months time this article will probably include twice as much information (album release/tour etc). I suggest that you hold off nominating this for FA until the first album is fully released and toured, at the very least. However, this is not a criticism of the article in anyway, merely that it will be so much more informative, in depth, and interesting when the band has done more. Even Nirvana would do little to excite a reader if the article covered just the career up to their first single. A thoroughly covered album release will help put the scope of the article in perspective. I hope you've found my comments helpful. Sillyfolkboy (talk) 17:02, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

If you found this peer review helpful please consider doing one yourself. Choose one from the backlog, where i found this article or take a look at WP:Peer Review.