Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 May 18
This page has already been peer reviewed; I just need someone to take a look and remove the "unreviewed article" tag. Thanks in advance for your help!
Ocelot7 (talk) 02:07, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
- As I mentioned a couple days ago, this may need to be merged. Have you contacted any interested WikiProjects yet, like WP:WikiProject Television or WP:WikiProject Companies? Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:44, 19 May 2011 (UTC)
Constant314 (talk) 02:25, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
I have drafted an article about Botanie Valley in British Columbia, Canada. It is my first Wikipedia contribution, and i wonder if it is ready to be posted.
Botanievalley (talk) 08:02, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
This is my first article on Wikipedia. I have tried to follow the rules and guidelines, but to make sure that I have not missed out on something I would appreciate feedback before it get posted. Thanks in advance!
Heijacob (talk) 09:39, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
- It's very well done, with the sole exception that you need to have an intro more accessible to laymen. The main thing would be to add a few clarifying words ("oil well"?) to the first sentence or two, since "well" is vague and as a layman I have no idea what an "intervention" is or why it matters. You don't have to get in-depth since people can always click the wikilinks for more, but ideally any layman should be able to read the first sentence or two and come away saying "oh, it's what you when you have an oil well and you need to XYZ, so you send an ABC down and it does ???" Along those lines, as I understand it your intro just sets up the situation, but it isn't until the next paragraph that you say what RLWI actually is. Try to tweak the opening as though the first couple sentences are all that someone is going to read, and any average person has to understand the overall gist. You might even want to bump the next part of the intro down a bit lower in the article; the 2nd and 3rd sentence doesn't say what RLWI is, but explains why it's important and contrast it with other methods, which is great info but maybe not intro material. I definitely defer to your judgement on how to set it up overall, but just approach it from a readability for non-experts standpoint. MatthewVanitas (talk) 16:45, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
How do I get the article reviewed so that I can remove the template?
Gileshenrystogdon (talk) 11:47, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Done But I added some other tags; you're pretty light on [[WP:Notability (people), so your article could plausibly be nominated for deletion based on weak sourcing. Read up on WP:Reliable sources and see if you can track down some more ironclad sourcing, and add more footnotes to substantiate the text. Feel free to post back here with any questions. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:48, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
This is my first article on a band that were important to the Adelaide music scene in the 80's. I'd like some feedback on structure and style before submitting.
Thanks!
Elec monk (talk) 13:13, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
- Greetings, the biggest thing you need to do is apply WP:Footnotes throughout the article. Right now it's not clear what info comes from which sources. This is fundamental to WP:Verifiability, which is a major component of WP:Notability (music), which is what you need to evidence to justify a band article. Please check out the maintenance templates I added, and let me know if you ahve any questions. MatthewVanitas (talk) 15:51, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for your comments Matthew. I've implemented your suggestions; is it possible to have another run through? The next question is "How to submit"? I must admit the whole editing/markup/feedback/submission process is very confusing. Elec monk (talk) 12:39, 21 June 2011 (UTC)
could you please check my article
Lilyfromdc (talk) 14:28, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
This is my first article about a non-profit that is starting to get big in my area. I would appreciate feedback!
Zebular13 (talk) 15:18, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Spenserreed (talk) 15:21, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
It is a new article about a professional research organization similar to the AHA. I would like to make sure it meets wikipedia standards.
Penicilling (talk) 15:57, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Not sure what else I have to do now to get this official?
86.188.188.210 (talk) 16:47, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
- Dangit, I just wrote a huge reply and then got an error message and it didn't load right. To summarise: the writing is great, the formatting is good except you need WP:Categories (as specific as possible, see some other writer bios to get an idea). The issues is that you lack WP:References. In order to provide WP:Verifiability of the info in the article, you need to add WP:Footnotes from WP:Reliable sources. So you need to venture onto GoogleBooks, GoogleNews, etc. and track down published, authoritative sources that can back up the article's assertions. Feel free to post back here with any questions. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:02, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Does this article have enough information and reliable sources? Does it need more facts and figures to demonstrate the subject is notable? What else am I missing?
5p1dy23 (talk) 16:56, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
- Getting close, but you need to re-calibrate on sourcing. You currently footnote to a WP article, which you can't do since it's circular to cite WP on WP. Instead, you should wikilink to Quebecor, and then use your "External sources" to make footnotes. For example, the cite "Nurun Snags Four W3 Awards" should be footnoted to the sentence discussing that award. The purpose of the footnotes is to provide WP:Verifiability, ideally of all info in the article. Sources should be independent of the subject (although Nurn's site could be quotes as to things like mission statement, claimed number of employees, etc.), and from WP:Reliable sources. You also need to add WP:Categories (as specific as possible), so check out articles on similar businesses to get a feel for what cats apply. The article should be good to go once you apply cats, and turn your links into footnotes. Make sure also to write the footnotes out as full WP:Citations as opposed to just the titles (needs to have publisher, author, date). Note also you can upload one low-res image of the company's logo under WP:Fair use; just make sure to select the "Fair Use - logo" licensing from the drop-down menu on the Upload form (in the left margin of your Wiki page). You're on the home stretch, just need some last fine-tuning; nice work. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:11, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
This is an entry for a significant production music company, and I got a lot of the info from their official sites. Would love some feedback on whether or not I need to add more sources & where-- it's my first Wikipedia article, and I don't want it to be flagged! Thanks!
LeonaLaurie (talk) 19:03, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Looking for feedback on an article I wrote about the company I work for. I want it to explain who we are and what we do, without sounding like a sales pitch. Please let me know what else I can add/delete to make it better and more neutral.
Digithoughts (talk) 19:50, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
not easy writing first article. I beleive Damon Giglio to be a very note worthy individual. He was one of the first to start and nurture a online real estate company. The laws in California have been changed which have affected how "Sale by Owner sites" can operate. I have provided all sorts of links, but my article was speedily removed. I have rewritten article and taken material out that may be irrelevant. What are my next steps to improve this article and decide if Damon Giglio meets the notability restrictions. Any help would be appreciated. thank you!
AlanHoes (talk) 20:17, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Harsha Raj Gatty is a Right to Information Act campaigner/activist from Mangalore, Karnataka, India.
Harsha Raj Gatty Born - May 5th 1987 Place - Mangalore Occupation- Right to Information Activist
Harsha Raj Gatty is a Right to Information Activist from Mangalore, Karnataka, India. He is also the Coordinator of Whitewhistle, An RTI Education and awareness forum. Harsha Raj Gatty has cleared his RTI Online Certificate Course conducted by the The Department of Personnel and Training (DoPT), Ministry of Personnel, Public Grievances and Pensions, Government of India. [1]
Harsha Raj Gatty is a allumini of St. Aloysius College, Mangalore having pursued his Post Graduation in Mass Communication and Media studies. Currently he takes up classes on vocational classes on RTI Act. [2]
EXTERNAL
Bobm217/Janis Anne Babson[edit]
Please review this file and see if you feel there are sufficient links and external references and sufficient notoriety. Article is about a little girl who died at age 10 and is remembered through various internet and published stories. Her posthumous fame lies in the donation of her eyes upon her death. In 1961, donations of body parts was extremely rare. In this case, it was at the insistence of the child and not of her parents, who were initially reluctant to grant her request. There are two books, multiple newspaper articles and various internet sources about her story. A 50 year commemorative event is planned for May 27, 2011 in Ottawa featuring one of the authors, an article writer, and is featured in an article in the Ottawa Sun, which is a featured reference.
Bobm217 (talk) 20:43, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
This is my first time creating a wikipedia entry. I am submitting a page for a band that is signed to the label I work for, Nettwerk. Please let me know if there are any changes that need to be made and if I have included a sufficient amount of reliable references. Thanks!
WNettwerk (talk) 22:02, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
EHDD is an architecture firm based in San Francisco. The original founder and principals are influential figures in architectural practice and education.