Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Samsu-iluna

Samsu-iluna

Since he lived 37 centuries ago records of Samsu-iluna's life are brief, chronologically problematic, and difficult to make sense of. I have attempted to work through them and present a coherent picture of his reign, but since I am the only person working on the project, I'm not sure how well I did. I'm also no entirely clear on if the article is useful to a general reader. I would appreciate any feedback. Zoweee (talk) 05:31, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

1. Okay, first of all, very good job. There are some minor issues.
   1. The article needs a copyedit. I noticed a few sentences that start with lowercase letters in the “Depopulation of Sumer” and “Other Campaigns” sections. Speaking of capitalization, I notice the article is Samsu-Iluna (uppercase I), while you listed it here as Samsu-iluna (lowercase i). Was that an accident, because I see all the related names have use lowercase letters.
   2. You have a rather large number of citations that you placed before a punctuation mark, like a period, comma, or at the end of a parenthetical phrase, like this. Do this instead.
   3. You cite 22 ref tags, but you only have a few sources. Please reformat your citations and use standard citation templates like {{cite book}}. List all the pages you cite under the pages parameter, if you like. Then, when you need to cite a specific page number, just use the name under the <ref> to repeat the citation later on, and then use {{Rp}} next to it to list the page number. Rename the “Notes” section to “Footnotes” and move {{Reflist}} to the “References” section, erasing what it currently in the references section. If that sounds a little too technical for you, reach out to me on my talk page, and I’ll show you how to do it.
2. Once you’re done, it may be time to assess the article. Taric25 (talk) 15:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

---

1. Okay, I moved the article to one that uses a lowercase “i”. Since I had created redirects, I asked an admin delete them to make way for the move. I did some copyediting, but please double-check.
2. I think I fixed all the citations that came before punctuation marks, but please double-check.
3. Lastly, I completely overhauled the articles references. One think I noticed is that you used {{Cite book}} for books, but you did not do the same by using {{Cite web}} for websites. Please be sure you are consistent. Also, I noticed, that you cited The History Files twice. Since is the only publication you cited more than once, it is not really a problem, but bear in mind that if you cite more than one publication more than once, other than books which simply cite different page numbers using {{Rp}}, then you'll need to split references into two sub-sections: Bibliography and Notes. In the Bibliography section, you would show number of unique publications you used and use {{Citation}} in a numerical ordered list split into sub-lists when a publication is used more than once in order to show the metadata you know about each and every source you used, such where it was published or the ISBN, while the templates such as {{Cite book}} or {{Tl|Cite web)) would only have the author's full name, date published, (access date for websites), work and publisher. If you look here, this example has 66 notes, however, there are only 26 unique sources. Remember, the problem I mentioned with this Samsu-iluna article you wrote was that you had 22 notes but only seven (7) unique sources. A reader should not be able to very easily find the information you cited. If they see you have 22 notes only using the lastname of the author over and over again in Harvard citations, readers are easily confused and do not even want to bother going to the library to check out these books. If they see you only have six books, most of which you cited several times, a reader is more likely to check out one or more of the books, in order to satisfy their interest (and possibly entice them to edit Wikipedia)! Taric25 (talk) 06:53, 23 July 2010 (UTC)