Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/1971 Scottish soldiers' killings

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Promoted: AustralianRupert (talk) 03:53, 1 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

1971 Scottish soldiers' killings[edit]

Nominator(s): Kernel Saunters (talk)

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because it has reached GA status and I would like confirmation that the content is A quality Kernel Saunters (talk) 09:09, 8 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Support. I'm happy that all my quibbles have been addressed and some of them were general points rather than criticisms based solely on the criteria. I think this is good enough for A-class. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 11:15, 27 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

~~Comments~~. Overall it's a decent article and I don't think A-class should be too much of a challenge. Just a few quibbles, though:
The lead needs expansion. It currently reads as more of an introduction than a summary

Done Kernel Saunters (talk) 12:42, 20 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Have you considered adding an infobox?

Done Kernel Saunters (talk) 15:59, 17 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"ever more involved" sounds a touch POV to me

removed 'ever more' - let me know if this is still an issue Kernel Saunters (talk) 19:43, 15 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"It seems" is not very encyclopaedic language
- Ditto "It was considered"

Both reworded Kernel Saunters (talk) 15:57, 15 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"killed them execution-style" also sounds a touch POV

Removed "execution-style" Kernel Saunters (talk) 12:53, 14 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Use double quotes (" instead of ') per the MoS

Done Kernel Saunters (talk) 20:29, 11 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ending the "events" section on the coroner's words without any reaction from the republican side gives the impression of condemning the attacks

reworked to integrate the inquest as much as possible into the chronology of the attack Kernel Saunters (talk) 15:15, 17 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Where in Scotland were the funerals held?

the brother's were buried together in Ayr - can't find a ref for the other burial / article updated Kernel Saunters (talk) 12:40, 14 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Dates should be 23 March 1971 not "the 23rd March 1971"; I may have fixed all of these

I think you've got them all - cheers Kernel Saunters (talk) 20:21, 11 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Newspaper titles should be in italics

Done Kernel Saunters (talk) 15:34, 15 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'd like to see some republican reaction included for balance

I can't find anything Kernel Saunters (talk) 15:45, 17 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

What's the connection to the corporals killings? HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 19:10, 11 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Two off-duty soldiers killed by the IRA - nothing other than this as far as I can see - that link was added by another user. I'm open as to the usefulness Kernel Saunters (talk) 20:15, 11 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Support~~Comments~~

The IRA Army Council sanctioned offensive operations against British soldiers at the beginning of 1971 - was it just soldiers/army or all British forces.

British Army - article updated Kernel Saunters (talk) 21:31, 14 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Provisional IRA is normally abbreviated to PIRA

Most articles seem to abbreviate to IRA, although I'm aware PIRA is widely used. I've seen edit warring to remove instances PIRA from other articles in the past and Provisional IRA is very clear especially when we have OIRA referenced in the article Kernel Saunters (talk) 22:06, 15 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

This led to the first British soldier, Robert Curtis, being shot and killed by the Provisional IRA on 6 February 1971. Two other soldiers were to be killed before this incident. - This is confusing so Curtis was the third soldier killed or were the other two killed after Curtis?

Reworded for clarity Kernel Saunters (talk) 22:03, 12 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The three privates were serving with the 1st Battalion, The Royal Highland Fusiliers - or the three soldiers were privates serving with the 1st Battalion, The Royal Highland Fusiliers.

Done Kernel Saunters (talk) 21:53, 12 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Day pass is not normal British Army terminology which may be brought up at FAR if it goes that far.

I've changed this to afternoon pass as per the source Kernel Saunters (talk) 21:29, 15 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ditto above with It seems

Reworded Kernel Saunters (talk) 15:57, 15 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

What if any comments did PIRA - OIRA or Sinn Féin make about the killings. The aftermath does not included anything from the republican side.

I can't find anything Kernel Saunters (talk) 15:45, 17 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

What make the CAIN website a reliable source ?

Its associated with the University of Ulster so is an academic source as far as I can see - I've added an extra source for the Falls Curfew sentence for coroboration. Kernel Saunters (talk) 09:38, 20 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The location the books were published needs adding and a separate bibliography section can be added

I've added locations, not sure about a bibliography section. Is this correct as per WP:MOS? Kernel Saunters (talk) 22:04, 15 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Jim Sweeney (talk) 07:12, 12 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. Please check the edit summaries. - Dank (push to talk) 20:59, 29 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Check my edits please; in some, I took a guess and changed the meaning slightly.
"considered safe for soldiers": considered by whom?
- - I changed this to "safer areas of the city for soldiers"; revert that if it's wrong. If it was just someone's opinion, that opinion needs to be attributed to them in the text. - Dank (push to talk) 13:07, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Oldpark/Cavehill branch": WP:SLASH recommends against slashes. Does the official name of that branch have a slash? - Dank (push to talk) 00:11, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, the official name Oldpark/Cavehill as confirmed here RBL Branches in NI Kernel Saunters (talk) 10:47, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"by his family": whose family?

Both families - updated Kernel Saunters (talk) 10:47, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"drumhead": the link explains what a drumhead is, but not what the word means in this context.

I've unlinked - the meaning is 'Drumhead Service' i.e. regimental drums and colours stacked to create an altar for a religious service. There is no appropriate link for this as far as I can see Kernel Saunters (talk) 10:52, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

- - I went with "A service of remembrance with regimental drums and colours" per WP:Checklist#clarity. Feel free to change it if it's not right, but use words the readers will understand. - Dank (push to talk) 13:07, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done for now. After you have a chance to work on these, I'll be able to support it for A-class. FWIW, I don't think this would do well at WP:FAC. - Dank (push to talk) 02:21, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 13:07, 30 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.