Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Hawker Hurricane in Yugoslav service

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Article promoted by Anotherclown (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 22:06, 8 October 2016 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Hawker Hurricane in Yugoslav service[edit]

Nominator(s): Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me)

Hawker Hurricane in Yugoslav service (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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The Hawker Hurricane Mk I saw service as a fighter with the Royal Yugoslav Air Force immediately before WWII and during the April 1941 Axis invasion of Yugoslavia, then the Hurricane Mk IV saw service in the fighter-bomber role with Partisan air and ground crew as part of the RAF contribution to the Balkan Air Force in 1944–45. One squadron worth of aircraft remained in Yugoslav service after the war, finally being retired in the early 1950s. This is the first aircraft-type in service article I've brought to ACR. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:19, 26 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments -- what a great idea for an article, just a placeholder for now but look fwd to reviewing soon. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 03:23, 26 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  • Read all the way through now and copyedited as I went -- pls let me know if any concerns.
  • Article layout looks straightforward and logical.
  • I'll take Nikki's image review as read, and couldn't see any issues with the sourcing.
  • Not familiar with the aircraft's service in this neck of the woods but didn't feel the article lacked for detail. Nitpicking: since you mention the two-bladed wooden prop (with constant pitch from memory) for the Merlin II, do you want to mention the three-bladed variable-pitch prop of the Merlin III?

Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:03, 4 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Iazyges

@Peacemaker67:

  • First off, great article, quite interesting, I've made a few edits on what I felt were obvious, i've left notes of the edits i made incase you would like to change them back.
  • "with no aircraft being completed by the Rogožarski plant", maybe "With the rogožarski plant producing none"
  • I went in and changed the mark Is to mark I's per little known and quite stupid rule,
  • I changed "at dawn" to 06:45, because the operation retribution page said thats when bombers arrived.
  • "with three pilots from the 163rd Squadron claiming one of the dive-bombers between them." Perhaps "With one of the dive bombers being shot down by three pilots of the 163rd squadron"
  • "after which one of the pilots attempted to intercept some German Messerschmitt Bf 109 fighters.[11]" Is this necessary for the article? I would recommend removal or else "The pilots still attempted to intercept german fighters however"
  • "The following day, the 2nd Fighter Regiment continued its patrolling" Maybe "The following day, the 2nd Fighter Regiment continued its patrol"
  • " from potential German air attacks which did not eventuate" Perhaps "which did not occur"
  • "The 4th Fighter Regiment machines were also active" Is machines meant to mean something more than aircraft? if not id recommend: "The 4th Fighter Regiment was also active."
  • "but except for attempts to intercept German reconnaissance aircraft, they saw little action." maybe say what aircraft it was, or if it isn't known maybe add a "Likely Messerschmitt Bf 109 flown by the hungarian air force" (I did some research, the most likely candidate is Messerschmitt Bf 109, hungary used it the most for recon, germany occasionally used it for recon, and as hungary was involved i believe it is likely a messerschmitt bf 109 with a hungarian pilot.
  • "4th Regiment Hurricanes were again successful, shooting down a Messerschmitt Bf 110 heavy fighter over Nova Gradiška." maybe: 4th Regiment Hurricanes were successful in shooting down a Messerschmitt Bf 110 heavy fighter over Nova Gradiška." as the again successful thing suggested the plane they downed previously was a bf 110, which it wasn't.
  • "while other machines" again, is that meant to convey anything other than planes? if not than it should be planes or airplanes.
  • "I changed bail to bail out
  • for "By 2 October, the squadron had been transferred to an airfield near Cannae in Italy to join the Balkan Air Force's" maybe "By 2 October, the squadron had been transferred to an airfield near Cannae in Italy to join the Balkan Air Force (a joint allied air group)'s"
  • "The mission was a success, but one aircraft was lost to ground fire.[" is this meant to mean it was shot down by AA or other guns, or does this mean a fire started at some point when it was on the ground?
  • That is all of my comments and suggestions. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 00:37, 30 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
    • G'day Iazyges. Thanks for the review and comments. I think I've addressed them all, except the last one, which I think is clear from the context. These are my edits. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:20, 30 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Cheers. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 06:22, 30 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

  • File:Hawker_Hurricane_3-view.svg: what source was used to create this drawing? Same with File:WWII_Occupied_Yugoslavia_Locator_Map.png. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:17, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]
    • I've left messages on Commons for the responsible editors. Will check back in a few days. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:49, 2 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]
      • Hi Nikkimaria I've now added source info for both. The map was from a contemporary map, but the three-view drawing was apparently from an amalgam of several online three-views, one of which I've been provided with. What do you think? Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 23:49, 2 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support: fascinating topic, and really well one IMO. I have a couple of nitpicks: AustralianRupert (talk) 05:41, 3 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  • plural/possessive: "Mk I's" --> " Mk Is"
  • "carried out Operation Retribution" --> "launched Operation Retribution"
  • "... patrolling between Čačak—Kraljevo—Kragujevac" --> the dashes should probably be endashes not emdashes
  • I'm not sure when it changed, but I think WP:DATERANGE now asks for "1938–41" to be "1938–1941" etc
  • " bailed out" --> I wonder if this needs a link?
  • "...a combined allied organisation" --> probably should be "Allied"
  • "the Hurricanes of 163rd Squadron had been rendered unserviceable by their crews" --> perhaps explitly clarify that this was done to prevent use by the Germans if captured?
  • "Hurricanes were successful, shooting down..." --> "Hurricanes successfully shot down..."
  • "...raised as No. 351 (Yugoslav) Squadron RAF, which was established as a fighter-bomber unit on 1 July 1944"...was this unit also raised in Libya?
  • "The complaints fell on deaf ears within the RAF..." --> "The complaints were ignored by the RAF..."?
  • "as did No. 6 Squadron RAF, which also flew missions over Yugoslavia..." --> "as did No. 6 Squadron RAF, a British squadron which also flew missions over Yugoslavia..."?
  • "...an enemy supply convoy" --> is it possible to specify Axis or German/Italian?
  • "... As the enemy withdrew west towards" --> Axis?
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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