Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Sieges of Taunton

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Peacemaker67 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 01:06, 30 July 2015 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Sieges of Taunton[edit]

Nominator(s): Harrias talk

Sieges of Taunton (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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This article recently passed a GA, and I'm hoping to move it on towards FA. This is my first effort at a military history article, so I think it important to take it through this forum before going for a FA review. Personally, I learnt a lot writing this article and found the sieges quite interesting, and hopefully that is conveyed in the article even to those who don't live in Taunton, Somerset, or even the United Kingdom! As with any review, all comments, criticisms and opinions will be well received. Thanks, Harrias talk 17:43, 11 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support: G'day, and welcome to Milhist A-Class Review. The article looks quite good in my opinion, and I believe it meets the A-class criteria. I made a couple of tweaks, so please check you are happy with these, and adjust as you see fit. Also, I have the following suggestions: AustralianRupert (talk) 06:29, 19 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    • in the citations "Toulmin 1822" should probably be "Toulmin & Savage 1822";
    • not sure about the semi colon here: "according to Hyde; Blake..." It could probably be replaced with a comma or a full colon. AustralianRupert (talk) 06:29, 19 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Cheers. All the tweaks look good, and I have implemented both changes as suggested too, thanks! Harrias talk 20:41, 19 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Okay, I'll review this... tomorrow, probably. More comments in a bit. --ceradon (talk • contribs) 07:42, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments -- very enjoyable and I'm close to supporting...

  • Prose-wise, copyedited per my normal practice so pls let me know if I misunderstood anything; one query:
    • "the culprits lynched and killed" -- I always thought lynching was a form of killing, so do we mean some were lynched and some were killed by other, unknown, means?
      • You are, of course, correct. I've removed "and killed" as redundant. Harrias talk 15:08, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Content-wise, it's not exactly my area of expertise but I note Hchc2009 reviewed/passed at GAN, which I think harks well.
  • Structure of the article seems simple and straightforward.
  • Image licensing looked okay to me.
  • Reference-wise, I just wasn't sure about BCW Project -- what makes it a reliable site?
    • It absolutely definitely does not meet our RS standards. I thought I had removed all references to it, but obviously missed one. I've altered the text slightly as I can't find anything else that directly backs up the previous statement, but nothing of importance has been removed anyway. Harrias talk 15:08, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:41, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Ian Rose: Thanks for the review and for the copy-edits you made to the article, all looks good. Harrias talk 15:08, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Tks for those quick fixes; just one other minor thing, is it correct to capitalise "South West" here (you do it twice so I assume so but thought I'd check). Anyway, happy to support -- an engagingly written article. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:20, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Personally, I hate it written capitalised, but our article South West England uses that format, so I assume that is how our MOS prefers it. Harrias talk 15:45, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Support Comments from Ceradon
  • "They allowed the Royalist forces garrisoned in the castle, under the command of Major William Reeve, to surrender and retreat to Bridgwater" why not just: "The Royalist forces under Major William Reeve that were garrisoned at Taunton Castle surrendered and retreated to Bridgwater."?
    • I can be a little verbiose. Changed as suggested. Harrias talk 15:54, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In early 1645, Blake sent raiding parties out from Taunton and, according to Hyde, '[commanded] a very large circuit, and [disturbed] other parts in Somersetshire.'" Could the quote not be paraphrased? I feel like leaving how it is is distracting.
    • I can see what you mean, but right now I'm struggling to paraphrase. I'll come back to this point. Harrias talk 15:54, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
      • @Harrias: Perhaps: "Blake sent raiding parties out from Taunton that, according to Hyde, took large amounts of land and disrupted activities in the area of Somersetshire. --ceradon (talk • contribs) 16:30, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
        • @Ceradon: I'm not convinced that conveys quite the same meaning, how about "Blake sent raiding parties out from Taunton that, according to Hyde, controlled a large area and disrupted activities throughout Somerset." Harrias talk 18:01, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "south-eastern" this is minor, but any reason for the dash?
    • I'm pretty sure that's the grammatically format for that usage. It's certainly the way that most UK books and newspapers write it. Harrias talk 15:54, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "halting their attack for the night" if the battle was on 7 May, but the Royalists did not attack again until 9 May, their attack was halted for more than just one night. I think we can get away with just "halting their attack."
  • "The attack was renewed around 11 am on 9 May, and over the next seven hours, Hopton's army advanced slowly through the town, forcing the Parliamentarian troops back one building at a time, until they had retreated to a small perimeter in the middle of the town comprising the castle, an entrenchment in the market square, St Mary Magdalene Church and an earthen defence known as "Maiden's fort"." This sentence is really quite monstrous. Perhaps: "The attack was renewed around 11 am on 9 May, and over the next seven hours, Hopton's army advanced slowly through the town. His forces pushed the Parliamentarian troops back one building at a time, until they were left with only a small perimeter of land in the middle of the town. Within the perimeter was the castle, an entrenchment in the market square, St Mary Magdalene Church and an earthen defence known as "Maiden's fort"."?
  • "they sent an advance party of ahead of them" of what? Or was that a typo?
  • "began to march back eastwards." I think just "marched eastwards" is fine.
  • "in the region of 10,000 men" just "about 10,000 men" would do, methinks.
    • Why use one word when you can use four?! Changed as suggested. Harrias talk 15:54, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Wickenden ... Purkiss" can add the full names please?
    • I had sort of assumed that I'd named them previously! Sorted. Harrias talk 15:54, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

That's about it. Cheers, --ceradon (talk • contribs) 05:24, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Ceradon: Thanks for the review; particularly picking up some of the shortcomings in my prose! Harrias talk 15:54, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Support - NB: I reviewed at GA. Hchc2009 (talk) 17:13, 27 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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