Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Whaam!

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Not promoted owing to nomination at FAC. Ian Rose (talk) 02:28, 15 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Whaam![edit]

Nominator(s): TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)


I am nominating this article for A-Class review because I believe this is the most valuable 2-D piece of military themed art in the world (my guess is that it is worth US$70-100 million, since this is Roy Lichtenstein's most famous work and several of his less famous works have sold for $42-56 million in recent years). I am aware that the article has very minimal traditional WP:MILHIST content. However, the 50th anniversary of its first exhibition is September 28. I am shooting for WP:TFA. Thus, I think I need to have this ready for WP:FAC by late July or early August. In order to get it ready, I am hoping to get some feedback. I am hoping to find interest here.TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 23:54, 16 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

A few comments, not a complete review: - Dank (push to talk)

  • Check for misplaced commas.
  • "Although derived from comics, Lichtenstein made numerous alterations to the work, such as creating two panels from one original, which are the subject of significant critical commentary.": I don't follow.
  • "It is respected for the temporal, spatial and psychological unity and congruence of the narrative and graphic elements, although the two distinct panels are considered somewhat unharmonious.": I don't follow.
    • This is me trying to sound like an art scholar. I am not sure if the confusion is the three different thoughts at once or that each individually is still confusing. Recalling that the WP:LEAD is suppose to summarize the text, I suggest looking at the paragraph starting with "Whaam! stands out from Lichtenstein's other...," which has accessible sourcing. I don't think I am too far off from the proper topic, but once you figure out what I am trying to summarize maybe you can help me to clarify it better.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:55, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "However, such artwork has since become popular with collectors and is now more widely accepted.": What does "However" contrast with? It doesn't seem to refer to the previous sentence.
  • "he merely duplicated extant original work": At first I thought "original" meant "his original", but the comic strip wasn't his work.
  • "enlarging the William H. Maudlin's ... cartoons": delete "the"
  • "Although he served, Lichtenstein never saw combat in WWII.": This partially duplicates the first sentence of the paragraph. Delete this sentence, and add "in noncombat roles" to the first sentence. - Dank (push to talk) 01:22, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "began to adapt the imagery and motifs of comic strips": adapt them to what? adopt?
  • "Lichtenstein in 1958 made drawings": Lichtenstein made drawings in 1958
  • "He departed ... to cartoon work": "departed" doesn't take the preposition "to". ", turning to" is one option. - Dank (push to talk) 02:26, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Ongoing discussion on article Talk page: just so it is known, there is an active discussion on the article Whaam! going on here. Bus stop (talk) 12:59, 14 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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