Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/William F. Dean

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William F. Dean[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Close as promoted --Sp33dyphil © • © 06:23, 1 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Nominator(s): —Ed!(talk)


I am nominating this article for A-Class review. —Ed!(talk) 14:40, 4 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Missing bibliographic info for Alexander 1998
  • Volume/issue numbers should not be italicized
    • Switched refs to citation format instead of cite journal. —Ed!(talk) 15:13, 4 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Find A Grave is of questionable reliability
  • Be consistent in whether you provide locations for publishers. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:55, 4 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Citation/Reference Number 14 is invalid. Comes up with in red and error. Adamdaley (talk) 04:03, 5 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • In the third paragraph of the lead, you refer to Dean over and over. Would read better to say "he" after the first usage.
  • When division commander Major General Robert L. Spragins was injured and relieved of command in December 1944, Dean was promoted in his place The wording is poor here; a reader might think that Dean got a promotion instead of Spragins.
  • That month, the division was caught up in the German Army offensive in the Ardennes, the Battle of the Bulge No, it wasn't. It was caught up in Operation Nordwind, the German counterattack in Alsace, not in the Ardennes.
    • Fixed. The wording of the source was vague and I had assumed it referred to the bulge. —Ed!(talk) 07:19, 6 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      • The US Army groups the two together as the Ardennes-Alsace campaign, which has caused some confusion. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:06, 6 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • In October 1947, Dean was appointed the military governor of South Korea, deputy to Lieutenant General John R. Hodge, the commander of the United States Army Military Government in KoreaNo, he wasn't. Dean assumed command of USAMGIK; Hodge commanded USAFIK, which included USAMGIK.
  • The Medal was presented by US President Harry S. Truman on February 16, 1951 to his wife Mildred Dean Would read better if it said "to Dean's wife"
  • In December 1951, when he was discovered to be alive, TIME Magazine did an article on his story and imprisonment, featuring an image of him on the magazine's front cover. When it was discovered that Dean was alive and prisoner, So he was found to be alive, and then discovered to be a prisoner?

Hawkeye7 (talk) 04:46, 6 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Support Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:06, 6 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Support with comments:

  • A well written article, clearly referenced - nicely done. Some minor comments follow:
  • "before being transferred to the 44th Infantry Division which he later commanded during its final days of the war" - "its final days of the war" sounds odd (surely they were everyone else's final days too?) "the final days" might sound more natural.
  • "a last stand" - I could well be wrong, but I'd always imagined a "last stand" to involve everyone either dying or being captured at the battle - describing it here as a "last stand", followed immediately by the retreat of the unit, read strangely. (e.g. "Custer's last stand", Battle of Camarón, etc.)
    • Per the Last stand article, this would certainly meet that sort of criteria. It was the Division's final rally, and by the end of it the division was essentially shattered, with 30 percent of its troops wounded or dead (more info about this can be found at 24th Infantry Division which incidentally enough is another of my A-class articles).
  • "He would remain in North Korean custody" - could just be "He remained in North Korean custody..."
  • "activities he would continue doing" - "doing" is unnecessary here.
  • " Dean originally sought a Doctor of Law degree but only received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Berkley in 1922" - unclear as written if this means that he wanted to take a Doctors, but didn't and ended up studying for a BA; or took a doctorate, and failed it, getting only a BA.
  • "During this posting, Dean took an interest in polo ponies, owning and training several of his own." - in the UK, having polo ponies would imply a degree of wealth - was this the case in the US as well?
    • Not that I know of; only that he had taken an interest in horses. —Ed!(talk) 03:57, 18 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "before taking a course at the Tank school" - is the capitalisation right? (I'm guessing school should be School)
  • "Following these duties..." - "duties" read oddly to me; would "appointments" read better?
  • "the United States' entry in to" - excess space in "into"
  • "threw back three attempted crossings by the Germans of the Blies River" - would "threw back three attempts by the Germans to cross the Blies River" sound better?
  • "Landeck surrendered on the 5th." - unclear if Landeck is a place or a person without clicking on it.
  • "a mission to advance as far as possible " - second "as possible" in the paragraph
  • "Dean organized the 406-man Task Force Smith" - "organised" or "formed"?
    • In this case, organized is a better term to describe his mustering of the unit. —Ed!(talk) 03:57, 18 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • " but did not do so for fear of ambush" - "fear of an ambush"? "fear of their being ambushed"? (it feels like there's a word or two missing here)
  • "US forces had no weapons large enough" - is "large enough" the right word here? (I'd normally think about the variable being how "heavy" the weapons were, not simply their size)
  • "and given a number of decorations, including the Medal of Honor, which he did not know he had been awarded. " - unclear from this when he was unaware of the Medal of Honor (e.g. during his imprisonment? Until he got back to the US? etc.)
  • " He maintained these activities for the majority of his life, even insisting upon them during his imprisonment" - as written, this suggests he insisted on playing tennis, coaching basketball etc. and weightlifting even during imprisonment; it might be right, but I'd suggest checking - I can't quite imagine a prisoner in North Korea demanding he be allowed to coach a local basketball team! ;)
  • There's a little bit of repetition in Personal life from earlier sections that might be worth checking through.
  • Awards and decorations - personally, I'm not a fan of the big colour versions.Hchc2009 (talk) 15:28, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • There's been quite a bit of discussion about that. No policy or consensus has come of it, though. Anyway, I've responded to all of your points. —Ed!(talk) 03:57, 18 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Support. The article is well-written and I believe that it meets A-class criteria. DCItalk 16:03, 9 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • CommentsSupport
    • No dabs [1] (no action required).
    • One External link reports an error [2]:
      • [tournamentofroses.com] (404 not found)
    • Images all have alt text [3] (no action required).
    • The Citation Error check tool reveals no errors (no action required).
    • Images are all PD or appropriately licenced and seem appropriate for the article. Minor issue:
      • File:William F. Dean.jpg lacks a date, could this be added?
    • "offensive in the Alsace, the Operation Nordwind..." doesn't quite work grammatically. Perhaps consider rewording to something like: "offensive in the Alsace known as Operation Nordwind."
    • "engaged in a three-week training period", consider "engaged in a three-week period of training".
    • This is a little repetitive: "Dean's troops captured 30,000 German prisoners of war in the surrender of the German Army...", specifically "German" twice, maybe consider "Dean's troops captured 30,000 prisoners of war in the surrender of the German Army."
    • "Around 1800, Dean ordered Martin..." this should be "18:00" per WP:MOSTIME.
    • Language is repetitive here: "attempting to make a last stand at Taejon, the last place it could conduct...", specifically "last stand" and "the last place". Perhaps consider rewording?
    • "He was kept alone, however, and never with other American prisoners for the remainder...", consider "He was kept alone, however, and was never with other American prisoners for the remainder..." I think this might improve the sentence (suggestion only).
    • Overall, a very good article about an inspiring officer. Just a couple of points to deal with / discuss. Anotherclown (talk) 05:05, 22 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      • Fixed everything you mentioned. —Ed!(talk) 03:32, 27 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        • All my points have been address so I've added my support now. Well done. Anotherclown (talk) 07:31, 27 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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